I have to say this year began on a blissful note, well that’s because I love to overlook setbacks .I was presented the honour to grace the wedding of my brother and friend, Davies as best man .In truth I have had no real marriage fantasies especially since I got exposed to the reality of it through movies and many real life marriage stories, but then being a part of this occasion and looking at the role I played, I gave a more positive approach to marriage. I am not saying I am now ready for marriage or anything for I happen to be too young for the matter and by having written this article I do not want to appear omniscient, but open minded.
Last week one contact on my bbm had a dp with a girl in a wedding dress captioned “every girl dreams of wearing this dress”. It’s this serious right? Surely the dress comes after the ring. I dug deeper by questioning some ladies on bbm and whatsapp what view they exactly had on that ring. Some said they dreamed about it every night and would be depressed if they never ever got married. Others thought it would grant them love without restrictions. There was an interesting and unique view when one said they had not prioritized marriage because the only difference they saw between marriage and cohabitation was the name change, and as we are taught God would be happy if a couple got married. In a nutshell, it was a great survey and many thanks to all those that offered cooperation.
From the survey, I could tell that many girls dreamed of obtaining the ring sometime in the future. The ring is like a reward to them or a token of eminence is my conclusion. Pragmatically, the ring comes to the well deserving. I mean a man will not just pop the question just because he has to, but because he has thought prudently about the situation. A normal man with a thinking filter will not bring home to his parents a girl who cannot be distinguished from girls in a Snoop Dog video or a girl whose major influence is Rihanna. I am basically talking about how ladies want to dress these days. Yes you have your rights, but the fact is that poor dressing will cost you. You ladies should know that exposing your body too much is not the best strategy to express your beauty. Like actress Garcelle Beauvais said about Beyoncé’s recent ‘ sexified image’ “ There is so many ways to be sexy without being overt about it” .Well just to remind you, beauty is never permanent, so that party will be over sooner or later. You don’t have to be risque in your dressing. Be respectable as you ought to be.
Every time I see some of our girls’ pictures on social networks, I try to imagine who will be so unfortunate to marry them in that state. I wonder if they know how honourable their bodies are meant to be. They simply undress for trivial 100 likes on Facebook, Instagram or wherever, while some wise women are out there getting credentials and making money. Shout out to all the women out there that realise just how much valuable and honourable they are. You may be perceived as foolish today, but you are the star tomorrow.
Now this ‘proverbs 31’ portrayal has come with a bang. I want to say ‘proverbs 31’ is not a title or an identity, but a lifestyle of a real woman that fully deserves that ring. No judging, but you will find a loose woman identifying herself by that. A proverbs 31 lady is not in the club every Friday night, present at every party and is drunk most of the week. How would she ever be able to manage a home if she actually was that way?
During the survey, one said people should neither be forced into marriage nor marry young. One important thing I learnt from Davies was that good things are worth waiting for. I could see just how much everyone in his family regarded this event as extremely special .You do not need to be in a rush. This goes to the guys that are not fully mature. Just because you got a job or money is no reason to marry. Marry because you are sure you have to, fully confident about it and with your parents blessing. There are some men who marry a good woman and after two years claim they made a wrong choice only to go on a search of another leaving their wife broken-very unfair. The foundation of your marriage affects the stability and survival of your marriage. We should take a leaf from the marriages of our parents and those old people who have lived together for twenty years and more. For many of them, divorce is alien. You have to marry for love, not buying wives. There is nothing that hurts worse than being loved for your money, because once you go bankrupt, she will leave you, but a ‘proverbs 31’ will stick with you because she loved you for what you were.
A close friend of mine told me they just want to have children and not marry, but with all due respect, I find that ridiculous. How would one be too cruel or selfish as not to afford parenthood for the sake of their child which their parents actually offered them? So really it is the question of maturity and wisdom on our part as men. Another friend told me she has no interest in marriage as she is independent. Be wise! Money can never be a substitute for a man, because in the first place you don’t have to necessarily get married for financial support, but love- if you receive my meaning.
This topic may have come as a shock to some of you, but then so many things on my mind have to be released. So the ready, mature and old enough out there can do us the favour of yet presenting us real weddings. To all the women, good things come to those that wait. Just wait upon the good Lord and that ring will surely come, from a genuine man and in the words of one preacher, Phil Hunt “…and it will be beautiful”.