I think it’s really been hard for me to keep up with posting blogs this year,(school is rough)that is why I made sure to drop a series of a Family Hustle every month. I have noticed that it has been like two years since I last did a post in relation to relationships, dating, love or anything in those lines. I usually shun away from such topics because I really do not want to come out as a connoisseur given the questions people ask me after.
So I am on a bus on my way to apply for my visa extension and I am just done working on an excel project so why not write something on the topic? Let’s talk relationships.
First of all I would like us all to realize how much social media has had an influence on our lives. The way we view things usually depends on what your timeline presents you with. What pictures do you see when you open your Instagram? What videos do you see on Facebook? There is one or two posts that will eventually influence how you view relationships.
Eventually you have what is famously called ‘relationship goals’ based on the video or picture you saw. There is nothing wrong with being inspired. Inspiration helps us to achieve great things. Unfortunately, great things do not come overnight. People want the good life, but are unwilling to work for those things.
Personally, I am inspired by Barack Obama, every time I see him with Michelle, I am like “one day”. Recently, I have been inspired by the Curries. I see a man who takes seriously what he does and is blessed to be good at it. A man I believe has to be hard working. I mean how else the hell will he be able to provide? I do not think ladies want to see men based on how handsome they are. Your networth defines how handsome you are these days. Which is both good and bad. Bad because gold diggers have grown even larger cannines in our generation , good that at least you can compensate on your not being good looking. *laughs*
One of the hardest things I have come to learn and accept is you can not always be lucky or blessed enough to get the exact person you want. I mean ladies you may never really find a dude that exactly matches your standards. You may meet a work in progress; an alcoholic, a visionless person or even a broke guy. Guys you may meet a girl that’s doesn’t match your beauty standards, lazy, not focussed in life, irresponsible and all over the place.
Life has taught me that at times you have to see beauty behind the madness, potential behind the pettiness. It is however not easy to just invest your time trying to change someone especially when they are so obstinate. I mean just like buying shares this is risky business.
One other thing I have noticed about our generation is our impatience and lack of preparation for the future. I don’t have to live in generations back to realise that there has never been a generation where people have wasted each other’s time more than this one. We initiate relationships knowing deep down that we don’t have any future plans for the other person. But because they are beautiful, we want to sleep with them and because they are rich you want them to ‘spoil’ you. We may as well just begin to sign contracts stipulating our intentions and expiration dates.
The other funny thing is that guys don’t want to go after the good girls and girls don’t want to go after vision filled guys who are viewed as boring . It’s just the law of magnetism here, unlike poles attract. Instead here the poles are not north and south, but bad and good. You know the guy is not good for you deep down, but you still stick to them. You know the girl likes you for what you can do for her , but you can’t let go. In the pursuit to have someone commit, you can only take so much disappointment. Eventually you have to let go and that shouldn’t take you years unless you enjoy being a slave. As I said earlier, it is risky business.
If you really want to your relationship to survive and flourish , you will have to put God at the centre. Instead of going to the club and on meaningless dates why can’t you go to church together, pray together? We have no control over love because tomorrow we may love someone else. There is a need to ask the One who is love to help us sustain our love for our partner. Sometimes we find being religious to be boring, I mean I do too, but there is no denying that only God can pull us through the rough edges.
We should learn to build relationships with the hope to build a future with our partner. A future that gives us everything we have ever dreamed of: beautiful children, grand mansions, cars and whatever things youths of today attach so much importance to.
All you need to be is patient. Of course you may take a short cut, but there are no short cuts without conseqences in this life. Nothing is free. Your ‘blesser’ may buy you a car, but you will pay him back with your dignity. Nothing defines a woman more than her dignity. Self worth is highly important.
A woman deserves to be with a man that recognises that she is priceless and that buying her jewelery is not what will wipe off her tears caused by his cheating.
Women should learn to be patient too. Your man may not give you everything you need (materially) today, but if he is trying to build himself, be there to back him, encourage him and pray for him.
It is more honourable to be the woman behind a man’s success than a woman who was bought with that man’s success.
Anyway, what do I know? 😝I think I have spoken enough, but still do reflect on the things that I have had to say. Have a great week ahead and God bless.