Dear Zambian Youth

fpoz

 

Dear ZW,

Compliments of the season. I hope this letter finds you in great health and …*laughter*. When was the last time you wrote or received a letter? Oh that’s right, you probably don’t remember and if you do, it’s ages ago. Boarding school people of 2010 and earlier should really relate. Hillcrest, Ibenga, Lwitikila, Fatima, Banani, Ndola Technical, St Mary’s, St Paul’s ,Simba, Njase, Lwengu, Kasisi, are we here? Remember the thrill of receiving a letter, especially from your boyfriend or girlfriend? The excitement it brought when you would make yourself comfortable just to read those words. Do not get me wrong, I do appreciate the modern days of instant messaging, but you will agree how special receiving a letter made us feel. The 2000s really missed out. 🙂

Anyway, I decided to do a letter for every Zambian youth. Ironically, it’s not in a sealed envelope to be delivered to your doorstep by Zambia Postal Services, it’s hosted on a blog site, to be delivered to your phone. At this point I realise that even if this post went viral, I wouldn’t reach many other youths because they have no access to the internet, let alone a smart phone. So my friend, count yourself to be blessed.

My friend, I understand reading is boring, but just stick a little longer and if you may, please share this link to the next youth. I will really appreciate. I just have a few points to share with you and I’m done.

I always say there is so much history to be made in Zambia by us the youths because a number of ventures remain untapped and a lot of irregularities like inequality, corruption, intolerance, etc are yet to be rectified. In short there is a lot of fields with empty tittle slots for first Zambian because, well as you understand the proverbial, we are backward in myriads of areas.

For example, the Zambian sound is yet to be sold to the world.  Young musicians have a better chance to be the next Wizkid in the near future because a number of factors are changing to their favor with time and also because they are creative. We are yet to see a National Team that will qualify for the world cup, let alone win it. We are yet to see Zambians making a break through in Scientific and economic research. We are yet to see  Zambians building Multinational Corporations and covered on Forbes.

We are yet to see a Zambia where eating healthy, efficient transportation, dressing well, efficient and affordable health care and WiFi will not be a privilege, but a right at least for the majority.  

I am convinced that if there is any real and long term change to be made, be it social, economical or political, it will be instigated by you. You and I are a generation of potential. We are hopefuls, dreamers. We see a lot of things differently, we have better solutions to problems, we are more sophisticated, more exposed and most important to note, we have grown in the errors our parents have made in our nation  and so our hearts scream change and therefore we badly want to become it. We are going to make great leaders as men and women.

The Zambian youth of today have powerful ideas, they are exposed, they are very tolerant, they do not see tribe, they believe in women empowerment, they care about the future and, they appreciate the arts, they are creators. We have people with interests in Science, Economics, Engineering, Medicine, Politics, Photography, Music, Modelling & Fashion, Developers, people with T.v shows on YouTube. They will create great things and they will make great leaders in the future. It’s all evident in some recent occurrences. The football level exhibited by the under 20 football team is something new, the work of the current Kitwe Mayor, activism of people like Brian Bweembya (B-Flow), the applicants for the EMpower 100 and many more underground creatives and young Zambian leaders around the world who never see the light of publicity.

Dear friend, to be a part of this history creation will not be accidental. You have to start now, with the first thing being the change in mindset. To prevent Cholera, you first need to clean your environment. Similarly, you need to rid your mind off thoughts that impede evolution.  You will need to eliminate negativity, be kind,and most of all to be able to see yourself as a person of value.

When you realise your self-worth, you will never allow anyone to take advantage of you and you will never allow yourself to settle for less.

Today we need to realise as Zambian youths that we have a future to lead. You owe it to the motherland to contribute something that will allow for the growth of our country. Where our country will stand tomorrow is highly dependent on how much we evolve today.

However, it breaks my heart to see youths indulge in activities of self destruction.  Youths studying abroad  are forgetting their purpose there and screwing up great opportunities that took enormous parental sacrifice. In the country, youths have found alcohol to be a great sport and are wasting time by involving themselves in illicit activities with unemployment being their favorite scapegoat. It is time we looked less to the government and made things happen on our own. A lot of success stories came from unemployment. It is all about trying.

If you will have to sale charcoal to support yourself, do it. Do not be ashamed of anyone. Yes you will say, ”Aquila, you want to make it sound easy”. Of course, mate nothing is easy. The world is hard,  but with a positive mind and resilience, you are unstopable. Kindly look up mother to son by Langston Hughes.

Learn to save, learn to invest, do not waste money to impress anyone. The most important person is yourself, my friend. Nothing matters more than your happiness. Be patient for your time, do not let Instagram posts put you in unnecessary  pressure, people just show you what they want you to see. We are all taking Ls. Be humble, learn to love, give more and take less. Read more and Spend less time debating whether or not Modric deserved the Ballon D’or, or if your crush will like you back . Begin to transform yourself into a valuable human being who will contribute greatness on our quest to see a developed Zambia.

I am a firm believer in ”nothing is impossible”. As we go into the new year, I wish you financial break through and your dreams transformed into existence and mostly your happiness. Let us be the better politicians, parents, clergy, and generally citizens we hope to see. Leave toxic associations and habits and see your level elevated.

Yours faithfully,
Aquila Ng’onga
Fellow Youth

 


Thankful to all the youths  below for accompanying this post and making it beautiful and many thanks to the beautiful Bwalya Mapesa for being the article cover model. You can follow her on instagram by clicking here and her blog site by clicking here

  1. Kabwe Mponda ”Life unfolds wherever you are, and now you’re here. Live and make the most of every opportunity”

kabwe mp

2. Natasha Ng’onga. ‘Do something today, that your future self will thank you for”.

nana

3.  Samuel Chibwe “Always be at your best in all that you do and keep the same energy, because what you give out is what you get back from this world more often than not”samg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Dalitsotwirrabud

5. Jane Mvula ”We should work hard, start our businesses we shouldn’t depend on the government and other people, let’s not wait to be employed we have to utilize the little knowledge we have to develop our country. Imiti ikula empanga”jane

6. Sandie Mulungushi Dreams do come true, you can win if you want to.

sandie

7. Abednego Chiyesu ”The moment we keep looking behind is the moment we continue remaining behind”

abc

8. Nicoletta Katulwende ( Journalism and communication Student) ”Tomorrow is never certain.. so Carpe diem (seize the day)”

twirrabuddd

9.  James Millerjamesmiller

10. Bwalya Mapese “If you want to see change start with yourself and don’t let your current circumstances dictate or define you because even they change.”bwalya

11.  Tyson What ever you can do ,do it with excellence ”gerald

12. Tsion “trust yourself, you know more than you think you do”tsi tsi

13. Simwenya Simwaka (IT officer) ”Always stay positive and work hard while at it, it’s starts in the mind”tiwwa

14. Desbourne deszb

15. Sarah Agape Phiri ”Be negative about Negativity”sarah

16. Joel Mfune The youths need to reanimate their unleashed potential into a productive one.

joel.jpg

17. Bwalya

bee

18. Emmanuel Simusokwe ”we need to put in much in our Education for it is an investment in knowledge that pays off”

emma

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FRIENDSHIP

friendship-66v

One of the most integral elements of human relations is friendship. No matter how much of an island we may be, at some point we will desire a ‘friendship’ to dock.  Friendship is very essential in multiple aspects of our lives. Friends make us smile when we feel low, they encourage us when on a daunting mission, and friends point us to a lucrative direction. At least this is what friendship should be all about and more as we look at it from a positive perspective.  It is somehow human nature that we cannot do by ourselves and to tick we need friendship, most of all nobody wants to be put to rest by a stranger.

Friendship is a tool that shapes us in so many ways. The kind of friends we choose play a role in what we may become. Energies, attitudes and personalities can be so contagious. A significant part of me today is because of the people I surrounded myself with. There is some music I listen to or some shows I watch because of some friends I met. There are also some things I believe in, do, some kind of way I talk and some things I say which I inherited from friends. This is something we can all relate to.

So the influence of our friends is something we can’t overlook. What kind of shows or music did your mates introduce you to? What kind of beliefs did they expose you to? What kind of behaviour and attitude towards life do you and your friend(s) share? The answers could be positive or negative.  We realise how a significant part of our personality is influenced by friends.  How we will present ourselves to the public will be determined by the substance we feed on with or from our friends.

The way I see it, friendship should be mutually beneficial. These days people are friends with others not exactly that they share mutual interests, but that they seek some sort of benefit or validation. I came to realise some girls wanted to be friends with prettier or popular girls so they too could seem relevant. Some guys want to be friends with another because they are wealthier and will help them in times of need. I have nothing against these agendas as long as you reciprocate the benefits.

What you do not need are burdens- friends who impede your progress.  This is where we begin to draw a line between healthy and toxic friendships. As youths we are trying so hard to build something for the future. I don’t think there has ever been a generation where youths have had huger aspirations. People have crazy dreams mostly because of the provocation they see on social media and television of the good life celebrities and other ‘happy’ and wealthier people portray.  If one ever has to achieve those goals and aspirations, they ought to be careful what kind of company they choose to keep.

If your friends are no visionaries, you are off to a bad start. It is important you choose friends that support you, believe in you and bring out the best in you. I think the most important thing really is to find friends that make you happy most of all. Talking of burdens, you do not need to be around people that the touch of evolution  always misses. You cannot be the same person you were two years ago. Growth is the most important thing. The more your friend grows the more you will be pushed to do the same, unless you are foolish enough to see that as a threat. You can’t be around people who always make other people the center of their discussion. You need to be around people that discuss ideas, make plans and believe in compassion. If the activities within your circle stay the same, you need to exit.

Learn to be thrilled by your friends’ accomplishments. This brings me to this point of unnecessary competition and jealousy. In friendship, never be imprisoned by the disease of jealousy. No matter how bad things seem for you, but great for your friends, be happy for them and simply wait your turn. Friendship is not a competition. Be kind, be generous and support your friends no matter how much your life sucks compared to theirs. Being a fake friend is evil.

 

However, great friendships are hard to come by, let alone maintain. Just like we seek a good partner in a romantic relationship, it will be imperative to find a great friend. A huge task i must add. Friendship may be beautiful, but also what sees our decline sometimes.As i conclude this article, I leave you with a quote and excerpt from The 48 laws of power by Robert Greene which is law number two:

 

 “Never Put too much Trust in friends”. “Be wary of friends, they will betray you more quickly, for they are aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and aroused to envy. They become spoiled and tyrannical.

7 requisites for a REAL relationship

Love is a game that two can play and both win-Eva Gabor

Love is a game that two can play and both win-Eva Gabor

(1) LOVE:   Well if it’s not about love just do both yourselves a huge favour and save valuable time by splitting up. You watched LOVE COMES SOFTLY and thought “hey! It’s worth a try”, but I am saying, are you mature enough to patiently wait for love to set into your nest? You have been together for 6 months and no shades of love had appeared. A relationship devoid of love is the worst way to waste time. Love is the magnet between you two; it is the basis of your relationship. Without love, they will do whatever to hurt you without even giving it a second thought. Love is easier expressed in actions than speech. When a man loves his lady, he will do everything for her, open her car door, get her gifts, show her off and today’s people will say, “Oh dude’s whipped”. There is nothing wrong with being whipped to her if she really loves you.

(2) Communication: “hey Hun, thinking about you right now. I really miss you. Can’t wait to see your pretty face again <3. K later, Love you”. Ladies don’t you just love this? When we let you know we actually, care, love you and think you are pretty? Now imagine if the last time he sent such a text was a month ago? I can imagine some insecure, extreme girls going all crazy “so why don’t you text me no more? Who’s the h*e you been texting and not me? Tell her that when I see her I am gona tear her apart. I will cut off her arms and beat her up with them.” 😀 *rotfl*. Communication right? A marriage is doomed if communication is lacking. You see as you go on, the romance begins to wane. She doesn’t do everything she used to do for you; you are beginning to hate her hair do, her laughter irritates you. It is important to talk about such and the simplest things. It begins as a petty thing and once unpatched in good time, you will eventually desire another partner. So Talk about how you can spice things up. Don’t always do the same old boring stuff, be spontaneous and try out new things, just head in a different direction for a change. Always let your partners know you love and belong only to them, compliment them, never leave them in a position to become sceptical and insecure. Always be sorry and apologise when you are wrong. Always TALK.

(3)Trust: I always say “Trust and Rome have one thing in common: they were both not built in a day”, be sure to quote me some day yeah :). When you were a little kid and your dad asked you to jump from a tree (you couldn’t climb down from because you got scared, I wonder why you had to climb it up in the first place. lol #Kids) into his arms, you would most definitely do that. Why? Because you obviously trusted him. This is no different in your relationship. If he told you he was going on a business trip for a month, will you grow insecure wings? Get a one degree in GPS tracking? If you don’t trust him, you will go as far as booking a flight for the next day so you can go and ‘Check-up’ on him, but with trust, you will have nothing to worry about because you believe your man will be back in one piece with no stains of other women on him. I know they teach us never to trust anyone, but you will have to trust the person who owns your heart.

(4)Respect: If he doesn’t respect you, he will beat you, have side chicks and lie to you. If she doesn’t respect you she will stab you in the back too, date your ‘best friend’, despise you and… oh boy do I really need to stress enough? This is obvious; you know how the story goes. Respect is imperative.

(5)Loyalty: uhm Chris Brown will preach more on the absence of that, only this time it will apply both ways because in truth, some men ain’t loyal too. But be loyal to your own, people. A relationship is between two people, call the third a devil because he/she comes to kill, steal and destroy.

(6)Cooperation: You should learn to play on the same team. To achieve your goals, you will have to support each other. If you both can’t learn to listen to each other, you are in the Titanic. You have to acknowledge his/her views. You should be the best advisor they ever had. I personally appreciate women who are wise enough as to admonish him if he’s taking the wrong path. Just saying this because I am a guy, but it has to go both ways.

(7)God: This deserves to be number one because without God, there is no Love and any of the above listed. PSALMS 127:1 “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it .So let God build your relationship so it remains steady and sturdy. Always pray for one another and go to church together. No weapon formed by anyone will prosper against your relationship. Trust God.

THROWBACK THURSDAY

I like to think that if days of the week could speak, they would obviously want to voice out their amazement by the names we have attached to them, and then maybe we could have Instagram or twitter as our scapegoats.

While Monday has received so much hate from mostly students and many working folk, it will be pleased to note that it is the day that women have taken to express and reveal their crushes on men they find attractive. So Monday is actually called #MCM- Male Crush Monday as opposed to Wednesday which is called Woman Crush Wednesday. Well it’s totally up to Monday to decide if this #MCM is a cool nickname. Well if I was someone’s #MCM every week, I wouldn’t be bothered. *grins*

Now if you will please forgive my manners, 🙂 and allow let me to say good morning reader. Today is Thursday or Throwback Thursday. This is the day you dig into your past, get a photo, and share it with your friends. It could be your first birthday photo, to your prom, to your first time in college. It is all about going into the past.

Now it all depends on what kind of past moment you want to resurrect, that is why I believe #TBT comes with a certain level of complexity because it is very personal in most cases. You will agree with me that you have a whole lot of your photos that would make it to Throwback Thursday, but you decide not to share them.

See the past is a very sensitive topic; so many things can remind us of it despite their size. A simple necklace will remind you of the person in the past that gave it to your on your birthday. I believe a small thing as a picture will play a scenario of your past before you. That is how come you find it easy to caption: #LASTSUMMER #TURNTUP #AMAZING #EPIC #CRAY #YOLO #INSTAHAPPY #INSTAGOOD #GREATTIMES and so on and so forth.. and oh yeah #THROWBACKTHURSDAY.

So #TBT is so much fun, but I feel it should move to another level because it isn’t totally honest. By not being totally honest, I mean the past is presented as perfect as most of the pictures shared are of great moments. I mean this is entirely my opinion and you have the right to yours. I am writing this depending on what I am exposed to. There are some photos we took from a past occasion that we feel are embarrassing. We think they cannot make it to our Throwback Thursdays.

For example you may have been a chubby kid or battled weight gain (and I mean this in the least offensive way) and just can’t find yourself sharing that photo. You know what would be fun? To get out of your ‘comfort’ zone, to let go of that fear and personal judgement , to just let it go. You never know that that would be an inspiration to someone fighting hard to lose their weight.

What about your funniest photo. The one where you looked like Mr Bean or the Joker. 🙂 *laughs out loud* Okay the joker is too much, but you do get my point right? Throwback Thursday shouldn’t just be about the greatest moments of your life. No one’s past is purely great. At times we need to open up and just deal with our past and that’s life for you.

Anyway, I am not a lame preacher, because I practice what I preach. So, I will lead by example and share with you a picture during my school days. 🙂 I find this photo ridiculous and crazy, but I will get out of my comfort zone and simply give it to you.

So Thanks for reading, good morning again and wishing you a great Throwback Thursday. Also remember to share with me your crazy posts. Love you all. 🙂

My funniest pic #TBT LOL

My funniest pic #TBT LOL

TO THE SPECIAL LADY

I couldn’t believe in strength if I didn’t see you get up and walk again given the countless wounds your heart received.
You weren’t foolish, but full of hope every time you gave him another chance, or did falling too hard sell you out?
As tears pour down your beautiful face, you wonder why it’s got to be this way.
You invested too much only to get back so little.
Maybe loving too hard should be insured after all, or a sign should have read “CAUTION: DO NOT FALL FOR HIM, KEEP MOVING AHEAD”.



He who once whispered in your ear , “I Love you so much, I don’t ever wanna lose you”, left you for cold. He gets the award for acting distant, after all you gave him.
Why should the person holding your heart want to believe they are holding a ball to kick?
Is he blind not to see pain? Did he switch off his humanity…. Is he a vampire?
He seems more of your philosophy lecturer than your partner. The questions you’ve been asking of late really amaze me.
You may not have imagined this, but the day your efforts are in vain is finally here. The day you have to question your dignity dances in your face, because for once you doubt you are good enough for someone.
I still do not see you packing your bags. Is falling too hard a flaw?
But Inside you lives a quality greater than endurance, strength greater than strength itself, because after everything he put you through, you still hope for the best, you still love.
You told me love is beautiful, but in your state I almost thought you insane, but I realised you redefine love.
Because at times giving up is too easy, you choose not to let go. Love isn’t your weak spot, but actually your strength and there is nothing wrong with loving too much.
You are not the problem, he is.
It should be easy being superman, because superwoman here handles worse.
But please, indulge me; let me be your superman, because today I will rescue you. Today I will teach you to fly, today we are leaving.
Glad you can now finally sing enough is enough because you can say you are done in a million ways.
Maybe he needs time to grow up. Like someone told me, a weak man cannot know what to do with a strong woman.
Hey Wake up my sister, God did not create you to harbour pain, to be betrayed, or to be left alone to soak in that tormenting rain.
God want’s your beauty to glow, your love appreciated, and your joy to flow.
There should be a flaw in the system: Love unappreciated, beauty abandoned, pain inflicted is not what your type gets paid back with. I have a feeling you never waited enough upon the Lord.But don’t kick yourself; let me take you to a world that knows not the words: side or main.

Embrace the new warmth, welcome this new day. You have to heal, it may take some time, I know it feels like stepping on quick sand but it will be worth it eventually.
A princess like you belongs to only one prince and him alone to you. He patiently awaits you.
If the past ever haunts you, to it say “swerve” because the new day is too sweet to be ruined.
…To the special Lady.

LET’S TOUR YOUR MIND

Your thoughts govern your life - Aquila Ng'onga

Your thoughts govern your life – Aquila Ng’onga

Hello mate, pull out a chair, sit back and relax and…. I think you expected ENJOY as the next word, but that’s alright. Since this is 2014, btw the only dude that kissed the S5 (yeah that is a big deal for him), I need not ask for your keys (keys? Pshhh), or your password (well you know, password’s much better), but!!! , Your fingerprint- to unlock your mind.

Thank you, how cooperative of you. I also want you to know that I refuse to judge you as gullible, but instead I choose to respect this trust you have exhibited. One last thing, don’t freak out, don’t freak out. Now close your eyes and yes I hope you enjoy my ride in your mind as I hope the same for myself.

3 minutes later

Good news, thanks to your fingerprint I was promptly cleared by immigration. Bad news, as big as your mind is, there are only two streets: Positivity and negativity streets. And you guessed right, I was only allowed to start from Negativity Street thanks to your soldiers
.
“Negativity Street or we throw you out Akil”

“My name’s Aquila”

“Akil, Aquila, whatever, Negativity street it is.”

Wow, mean people there. They all sound like Terry Crews.

So far, it has not been easy to navigate through your mind. I can hardly move 2 inches without a police road block. Wait, here comes the fifth officer; I have to meet in less than 10 inches of my journey. His name is officer Melancholy. He is such a devastated individual. With a soft voice he asks me to pull over. He is so pathetic but don’t be fooled as he is also powerful. He grows bigger by the second and I doubt he will disappear soon enough for me to leave. After something that seems like 5 hours though it’s only been 30 minutes, this dude disappears and I speed off before he resurfaces. I am told he appears a lot often.

Negativity Street is not your average street. It’s like a street in India filled with hundreds of people- you just can’t move through at your own speed or maybe it’s like a third world country road wounded with potholes that won’t allow you to make it to your destination at your time of convenience. Now that you get the picture, brace yourself I am about to meet officer doubt.

Officer doubt I’m told appears at this point at least once a day. I learn that she set herself a record of longest appearance at the time you applied for your accountancy Job (Coincidental? I think not.) She also has the nature of growing so big suddenly. I am fortunate because she lets me go past in good time.

It’s worth noting that there exists besties in your mind. Guess who they are? No, it’s actually despair aka incredulity, aka disbelief and officer doubt. The way they coexist is simply amazing. If you get a quick pass from doubt, be sure to get the same from despair. They kind of appear and disappear at the same time. They are like conjoined twins joined to the same heart.

Well mate, I can tell you it’s been no crystal stair confronting all these officers, but having met worry, I believe things can get worse in Negativity Street. Maybe next time I will fill you in on the confrontations I had with pain, depression, pessimism…. OMG I feel so weary, I need to rest.

Positivity Street

I am now strong enough to continue the rest of the tour. You will be pleased that the best part of your mind is so welcoming and comforting. I can’t see any cops over here. It is a free world. The first individual I met here is was a dude playing happy by Pharrell Williams in his car. It’s funny because his name is actually happiness, aka joy, aka bliss, aka elation, aka… Dude relax. He has so many akas, but all we should know is he is happy.

Unfortunately happiness appears and disappears in such short intervals. Since he is much sweeter than guys like despair and melancholy, I wonder why he doesn’t occur more often like them. I am already enjoying the small talk me and him are having. I hear despair, pain, worry, sorrow among others can’t mind their business, but usually threaten happiness to disappear.

After happiness is taken away from the scene, Hope quickly comes over to console me who takes me to Faith mall where we get some lunch. At Faith mall, hope grows so big I feel elation instantly. Hope and faith expands most at your prayers.

In comes a really beautiful girl in the café. Hope introduces me to her as serenity. She smiles so nice. She looks so immaculate. You see, I could forfeit the rest of the tour just to keep looking in her face. She also has a twin sister named Peace aka tranquillity. These two sisters are the calmest beings I have ever met in your mind. They talk so gracefully.

Faith mall is like the pillar of Positivity Street and everyone here looks dependant on him. I am so pleased to have met optimism
.
Your Positivity Street is so short compared to your negativity one. Faith and optimism said it is up to you to make it longer, but mostly you choose to expand Negativity Street.

I wish I could continue, but all good things do meet an end. I enjoyed touring your mind; I hope you enjoyed having me in there too. You can now have your eyes open.

These cops in your mind made my navigation impossible.

These cops in your mind made my navigation impossible.

Free your mind today

Free your mind today

Always aim to expand your positivity street.

Always aim to expand your positivity street.

It's all up to you to choose.You either expand positivity or negativity

It’s all up to you to choose.You either expand positivity or negativity