THE FACEBOOK LOVE STORY: NEW BEGININGS

In retrospect, not only did that catastrophe leave her devastated, it had also produced a strong woman in Jennifer. She was only 22, but her résumé left her over qualified for a sufferer. Five years ago is as fresh as a wound inflicted by the canine of a lion. Maxwell may have died, but she sees him each time she looks at her little boy. She can then afford a smile.

So many things have happened ever since the unfortunate incident. Oceans had poured out of her eyes. It was never healthy for an expectant woman. The worst months of her life she may have called them. She could talk to herself. The strange part was she had seen no one from Max’s family show up. Not even his parents.

“Maxwell, Oh my dear Maxwell. Why did you have to leave me? You promised me of a future together. You swore never to leave me. I wish our son could take a look at you. Who will ever teach him to be a real man like you were?” She could lament endlessly.

Her hallucinations were her refuge. If only RIP meant return if possible.

As soon as she had conceived, she had embarked on a mission to complete school. Her friends were talking university now, some could mock her. She never imagined completing school a year later. She imagined how different things would have been if she had never signed up for Facebook. Yet again, she could not have met Max; in that way it was worth it. However, complete school she did and now in university pursuing Public Administration. She is really a tough cookie. Most people never get up to their feet.

Her therapist had suggested that the best way to heal was to share her story, specifically through writing. She knew this could be easy as her journal could easily be her first draft.

She had decided to tell her story and plan to her philosophy lecturer who had seemed both touched and supportive. His name was Mr Zulu, but insisted Jenifer call him Paul. Paul was a young man in his early thirties. He was nice, understanding and kind ever since she moved into campus. She was confident he would help her out. He had agreed to help her publish her book and also for her to ask him if she needed anything just during her stay in campus.

Paul and Jennifer grew so close at times it was impossible to hide this during lectures. Her mates could tease her about how she liked Paul. Paul was not married at all. Jennifer could see Paul was so attracted to her. She thought she was blessed for always meeting good men. Actually, her little boy’s 5th birthday party was actually all on him. She did like Paul, but not enough to be with him. She always thought she would betray Max had she gone out with another dude. Even after 5 years, she was not over her first love.

Fast forward: Two years later

Now in their final year, Mary her friend had noticed this relationship had never progressed. Jenny was clearly lucky to have a guy like Paul around her. Why would she not give him a chance? Mary always wondered.

“So I know it’s none of my beeswax, but I can’t help but notice you kinda are avoiding Paul in some way. Listen Jenny, you should consider yourself a very lucky girl. After all that has occurred in your life, you are still blessed enough to have a good guy pursuing you. Why not give him a chance?” Mary asked.

Jennifer remained silent for a while.
“I appreciate your concerns Mary, but you don’t understand it is not that easy” Jenny said

“I know you still think about Max, but you have to move on. Max will never come back. Remember you are growing older. Before you know it, no more men will pursue you. I’m sure Max would be happy to know you found true love” Mary said softly

She stormed off to the bathroom.

“Max will never come back”. Those words from Mary’s speech hurt her so much. She still thought he would come back. In the bathroom, she shed rivers. “Max would be happy to know you found true love”. She kept thinking about Mary’s words. She eventually realised her friend was right, but she wasn’t totally convinced.

The next day, Paul informed her that the book was being printed in the US by his friend who had agreed to market her book globally because it was a huge story. She felt so elated. She couldn’t conceal her excitement. She hugged Max tightly and thanked him for everything he had done for her.

“Anytime” was all Paul said to her.
Paul had convinced her to re-activate her Facebook account as these were NEW BEGINNINGS. Everyone was glad to comment welcome back when she made her first post. She felt so happy after a long time. She knew she owe her happiness to Paul, he had been through it all with her. Maybe it was time to give him a chance.

She was to graduate in two months and the pressure from her peers coercing her to date Paul was increasing by the day.

“You know what, just give Paul to me if you do not want him. There is no way you can overlook such a handsome, educated and wealthy man after you”, another of her friends joked around.

All her friends laughed, including Jennifer.

Maybe it was time. Maybe she could ask him out herself because the only reason she thought he never did (officially) was because he was shy. Anyway, lucky for him, his actions had spoken myriads for him.

So she invited him for dinner the next week. Good thing her roommate had gone home for the weekend and so she had the room to herself. They talked for a long time and later watched a movie. It was so romantic; she had never imagined any of this to happen to her after losing Max. She hoped she hadn’t betrayed him, she hoped he could understand.

Later on, he thanked her for the nicely cooked dinner and the time well spent and was about to leave. They embraced, but never to both let go. She kissed him on his lips and he responded quite well. Her chest against his, this thing was leading to another. She started to help him shed off his jacket. She had only done it once her whole life, but she was in such control. She realised this part of her being had been left unattended to for a long time and all her feelings and cravings came rushing back at her. They began to overpower her.

Like a flash of lightening or maybe suddenly, Paul pulled away quickly and held back his jacket to restore it to its previous position.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t do this. I have to leave. Please have a goodnight” He said awkwardly with no eye contact.

Jennifer was left in shock. How and why could he resist her? Had she began getting old like Mary once said? No she was still perfect. She had a banging body. No one could have ever guessed she was a mother. Why did Paul act that way? Was he gay? She was in complete perturbation.

The next day when she saw him, never had she imagined having an awkward moment with Paul. He said “hi” frantically and walked away. She wanted to apologise for instigating that act the previous night. Their relationship took a very crazy shift until two months later on her graduation day. She could never have guessed this even if she had hope.

She was glad to have graduated with a merit, and was asked to give a speech to inspire everyone that whatever they went through, they could still stand on their feet and be stable again. Her speech was so touching and everyone wanted to shake her hand after.

She couldn’t believe what she saw next. She beheld a familiar face. She had imagined this, but she had never really believed it. Was this day playing tricks on her mind? Her mother held her firmly and told her to be strong.
She saw a man she had known a while back and who in his hands held her son. Was her hallucination back? She saw Paul standing next to him. He smiled at her. She stood frozen like a statue.

“Maxwell Hernandez is that you? She asked in a soft voice.

She had a very huge expression of shock on her face.

“In the flesh”, he smiled her.

She was so overcome by shock, she passed out. When she awakened, she was in Maxwell’s arms.

“I know you think I died, but I have a lot to tell you” he said.

So Maxwell on the day of the car crush had dropped into a comma. His mother was quickly alerted of the situation and had found a way to instruct the doctor that her son had died in the eyes of the girl and her family. The following week, Max was moved to the UK were he could receive treatment. Max’s mum was a snob. She never wanted Max to marry low and when she had heard (from her spies) that her son was seeing a girl of not quite her ideal class, she was in such indignation.

The car crush was a plus to her. She had to ‘save’ her son from what she thought was a curse of bonding with people that lacked a social status. Apparently, she had suggested he marry the governor’s daughter, but clearly he went against her plans.
Paul was smart enough to solve this puzzle. After Maxwell had helped him complete his education, he had always believed to have owe Max one. When he realised Jennifer fitted the description of Max’s girl he had vowed to take care of her until such a time he could help the two reunite. The time was finally here. He had told Max about this and they both agreed the best day for the reunion was her graduation day.

Jennifer was so overwhelmed she couldn’t believe this, but was overjoyed to look Max in his eyes again. Her son’s father was back.It was like the demised love of her life had heard her cries and decided to resurrect. She now understood why Paul had always acted the way he did. He definitely was their son’s god father and the best man on their wedding the following month. Her book was a best seller. Could things be any better?

Let’s just say they lived happily ever after.

7 requisites for a REAL relationship

Love is a game that two can play and both win-Eva Gabor

Love is a game that two can play and both win-Eva Gabor

    (1) LOVE: Well if it’s not about love just do both yourselves a huge favour and save valuable time by splitting up. You watched love comes softly and thought “hey! It’s worth a try”, but I am saying, are you mature enough to patiently wait for love to set into your nest? You have been together for 6 months and no shades of love had appeared. A relationship devoid of love is the worst way to waste time. Love is the magnet between you two; it is the basis of your relationship. Without love, they will do whatever to hurt you without even giving it a second thought. Love is easier expressed in actions than speech. When a man loves his lady, he will do everything for her, open her car door, get her gifts, show her off and today’s people will say, “Oh dude’s whipped”. There is nothing wrong with being whipped to her if she really loves you.

    (2) Communication: “hey Hun, thinking about you right now. I really miss you. Can’t wait to see your pretty face again <3. K later, Love you”. Ladies don’t you just love this? When we let you know we actually, care, love you and think you are pretty? Now imagine if the last time he sent such a text was a month ago? I can imagine some insecure, extreme girls going all crazy “so why don’t you text me no more? Who’s the h*e you been texting and not me? Tell her that when I see her I am gona tear her apart. I will cut off her arms and beat her up with them.” 😀 *rotfl*. Communication right? A marriage is doomed if communication is lacking. You see as you go on, the romance begins to wane. She doesn’t do everything she used to do for you; you are beginning to hate her hair do, her laughter irritates you. It is important to talk about such and the simplest things. It begins as a petty thing and once unpatched in good time, you will eventually desire another partner. So Talk about how you can spice things up. Don’t always do the same old boring stuff, be spontaneous and try out new things, just head in a different direction for a change. Always let your partners know you love and belong only to them, compliment them, never leave them in a position to become sceptical and insecure. Always be sorry and apologise when you are wrong. Always TALK.

    (3)Trust: I always say “Trust and Rome have one thing in common: they were both not built in a day”, be sure to quote me some day yeah :). When you were a little kid and your dad asked you to jump from a tree (you couldn’t climb down from because you got scared, I wonder why you had to climb it up in the first place. lol #Kids) into his arms, you would most definitely do that. Why? Because you obviously trusted him. This is no different in your relationship. If he told you he was going on a business trip for a month, will you grow insecure wings? Get a one degree in GPS tracking? If you don’t trust him, you will go as far as booking a flight for the next day so you can go and ‘Check-up’ on him, but with trust, you will have nothing to worry about because you believe your man will be back in one piece with no stains of other women on him. I know they teach us never to trust anyone, but you will have to trust the person who owns your heart.

    (4)Respect: If he doesn’t respect you, he will beat you, have side chicks and lie to you. If she doesn’t respect you she will stab you in the back too, date your ‘best friend’, despise you and… oh boy do I really need to stress enough? This is obvious; you know how the story goes. Respect is imperative.

    (5)Loyalty: uhm Chris Brown will preach more on the absence of that, only this time it will apply both ways because in truth, some men ain’t loyal too. But be loyal to your own, people. A relationship is between two people, call the third a devil because he/she comes to kill, steal and destroy.

    (6)Cooperation: You should learn to play on the same team. To achieve your goals, you will have to support each other. If you both can’t learn to listen to each other, you are in the Titanic. You have to acknowledge his/her views. You should be the best advisor they ever had. I personally appreciate women who are wise enough as to admonish him if he’s taking the wrong path. Just saying this because I am a guy, but it has to go both ways.

    (7)God: This deserves to be number one because without God, there is no Love and any of the above listed. PSALMS 127:1 “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it .So let God build your relationship so it remains steady and sturdy. Always pray for one another and go to church together. No weapon formed by anyone will prosper against your relationship. Trust God.

THE WEDDING RING

I have to say this year began on a blissful note, well that’s because I love to overlook setbacks .I was presented the honour to grace the wedding of my brother and friend, Davies as best man .In truth I have had no real marriage fantasies especially since I got exposed to the reality of it through movies and many real life marriage stories, but then being a part of this occasion and looking at the role I played, I gave a more positive approach to marriage. I am not saying I am now ready for marriage or anything for I happen to be too young for the matter and by having written this article I do not want to appear omniscient, but open minded.

 Last week one contact on my bbm had a dp with a girl in a wedding dress captioned “every girl dreams of wearing this dress”. It’s this serious right? Surely the dress comes after the ring. I dug deeper by questioning some ladies on bbm and whatsapp what view they exactly had on that ring. Some said they dreamed about it every night and would be depressed if they never ever got married. Others thought it would grant them love without restrictions. There was an interesting and unique view when one said they had not prioritized marriage because the only difference they saw between marriage and cohabitation was the name change, and as we are taught God would be happy if a couple got married. In a nutshell, it was a great survey and many thanks to all those that offered cooperation.

From the survey, I could tell that many girls dreamed of obtaining the ring sometime in the future. The ring is like a reward to them or a token of eminence is my conclusion. Pragmatically, the ring comes to the well deserving. I mean a man will not just pop the question just because he has to, but because he has thought prudently about the situation. A normal man with a thinking filter will not bring home to his parents a girl who cannot be distinguished from girls in a Snoop Dog video or a girl whose major influence is Rihanna. I am basically talking about how ladies want to dress these days. Yes you have your rights, but the fact is that poor dressing will cost you. You ladies should know that exposing your body too much is not the best strategy to express your beauty. Like actress Garcelle Beauvais said about Beyoncé’s recent ‘ sexified image’  “ There is so many ways to be sexy without being overt about it”  .Well just to remind you, beauty is never permanent, so that party will be over sooner or later. You don’t have to be risque in your dressing. Be respectable as you ought to be.

Every time I see some of our girls’ pictures on social networks, I try to imagine who will be so unfortunate to marry them in that state. I wonder if they know how honourable their bodies are meant to be. They simply undress for trivial 100 likes on Facebook, Instagram or wherever, while some wise women are out there getting credentials and making money. Shout out to all the women out there that realise just how much valuable and honourable they are. You may be perceived as foolish today, but you are the star tomorrow.

Now this ‘proverbs 31’ portrayal has come with a bang. I want to say ‘proverbs 31’ is not a title or an identity, but a lifestyle of a real woman that fully deserves that ring. No judging, but you will find a loose woman identifying herself by that. A proverbs 31 lady is not in the club every Friday night, present at every party and is drunk most of the week. How would she ever be able to manage a home if she actually was that way?

During the survey, one said people should neither be forced into marriage nor marry young. One important thing I learnt from Davies was that good things are worth waiting for. I could see just how much everyone in his family regarded this event as extremely special .You do not need to be in a rush. This goes to the guys that are not fully mature. Just because you got a job or money is no reason to marry. Marry because you are sure you have to, fully confident about it and with your parents blessing. There are some men who marry a good woman and after two years claim they made a wrong choice only to go on a search of another leaving their wife broken-very unfair. The foundation of your marriage affects the stability and survival of your marriage. We should take a leaf from the marriages of our parents and those old people who have lived together for twenty years and more. For many of them, divorce is alien. You have to marry for love, not buying wives. There is nothing that hurts worse than being loved for your money, because once you go bankrupt, she will leave you, but a ‘proverbs 31’ will stick with you because she loved you for what you were.

A close friend of mine told me they just want to have children and not marry, but with all due respect, I find that ridiculous. How would one be too cruel or selfish as not to afford parenthood for the sake of their child which their parents actually offered them? So really it is the question of maturity and wisdom on our part as men. Another friend told me she has no interest in marriage as she is independent. Be wise! Money can never be a substitute for a man, because in the first place you don’t have to necessarily get married for financial support, but love- if you receive my meaning.

This topic may have come as a shock to some of you, but then so many things on my mind have to be released. So the ready, mature and old enough out there can do us the favour of yet presenting us real weddings. To all the women, good things come to those that wait. Just wait upon the good Lord and that ring will surely come, from a genuine man and in the words of one preacher, Phil Hunt “…and it will be beautiful”.

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