Self-Esteem

Ever been faced with a situation that left you remorseful because you did something you hated and never thought you would do, sorely because you had no self-esteem at the time? No? Well then you must be among a random fortunate few because most of us have been a victim of this particular situation. Sometimes we do not act ourselves simply because we want to please someone else. Some of these actions incite jeopardy upon us, but even though, we decide to overlook any warning. I could emphasise more, but I suppose the imagery of lack of self-esteem should be painted in your minds from what I have explained in a few words.Image

 

 

The first step to attaining self-esteem is dodging an identity crisis. Many of us lack the ability to realise the dignity we possess. I know there is a system of grouping where one is classified as rich or poor, educated or uneducated, eminent or ordinary, and not forgetting the moral high ground. As much as these masks make others appear superior or inferior, we are all human beings with mutual feelings, failures and strengths; among others. Many people, however, do no not realise this and therefore never really know their position. Identifying yourself is very important because it limits your vulnerability to any sort of insecurities. Since you realise you are as good as anyone else, you will have no reason to feel bad about yourself and try to act inferior to another.

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 At times the reason people fail to break through an identity crisis is because they refuse to flee unhealthy manipulation of them by others. The attitude and influence of the people around us is always felt. I do not see how someone can manage to feel good about himself when all his positive energy is drained by negative people who make him believe that he is not good enough for something. I advise you to avoid people who always seem to take away your belief in yourself. Do not allow anyone to judge you less. Even if people do not give you compliments when due, do not lose yourself. If it makes you feel better, believe you are the best in the world, the most handsome or prettiest in the world. At all times, boost your self-confidence.

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You should know that being devoid of self-esteem is very suicidal. It drives you into poor decision making. Because you have no self-respect, you decide to stick to a violent partner or a job that has you mistreated. Having in mind that we may encounter desperate times, I still believe self-esteem will always allow room for you to make decisions in your best interest. It will make you quit a job that has you underpaid or tell or set straight a person that thinks they can sexually harass you. You will know that you can’t say yes to every proposal .Yes! With self-esteem not everyone deserves to go out with you. You will know just how special you are and just how much you are worth. Self-esteem defines our dressing, our talk or basically our lifestyle. I am sure you will never see President Obama dressed like Kanye or Lil Wayne. With self-esteem comes a self-image.Image

Please do not grow big headed at this point and try to get me wrong. Just because I have reminded you of how special you are, do not go out there preaching your importance. Yes you are important, but this minute realise that there is a thin line between self-esteem and pride. Being proud of yourself is alright, but it doesn’t have to make you contemptuous or condescending. Have regard for others and create an environment that allows people you interact with feel comfortable and full of self-esteem .Help others evaluate themselves. Make it your responsibility that they do.

If you ever look down on yourself, terminate that contract and apply for self-confidence, self-worth, a sense of worth, self-respect, self-regard, self-assurance and not forgetting pride. Life is too short to live as an outcast to yourself.

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Live to serve,serve to live

It is the second Friday of 2014 and I’ve had a rough week as I have never struggled this much finding a topic to write about any other week. As I lay in bed this morning-half asleep, I ponder over this situation and to my surprise and relief a thought saying live to serve and serve to live encompassed my mind. I have been seeing a similar phrase on my friend’s pm on BBM long enough and as I write this, I dedicate this post to him because without him, I probably could not have thought of this as I endeavor to give a panoptic of these ideas.

In 2009, in my eleventh grade, I had a chance to go to Chengelo School’s outdoor activity centre; Ndubaluba.After having completed our challenges that week, the guides gave us attributes on paper that they had identified in us. One of my friends was said to be” servant hearted” and the picture of how this stirred great humor among us (his peers)is still vivid in my mind. I contemplated this attribute and in time, I realised that it was actually the greatest of ours all, much as we laughed about it. Now what I have realised in life is how most people are conceited, condescending and pompous. Gladly, there exists a humble few in whom greatness hides.

A servant is a creator. A master is not one without a servant he is therefore created by the servant. I would prefer to serve than to be served. Do not think of it in a way of a master being superior to the servant, but in a way of assisting anyone in any way. You see, with living to serve and serving to live, being a servant makes you a master. I mean you do not have to be a servant to serve. It brings complacency and joy when you know your efforts put someone in a better position.

One thing my Dad told me that I will live to remember is that “When you are always begging, you will become enslaved by the person you are begging from in the process”. What the old man was implying here is that you’ve got to work hard so you live to serve and not be served. This reminds me of Acts 20:35, “it is more blessed to give than to receive”. Here, giving is also serving. The fact of the matter is that it is not always that people will appreciate your service anyhow, but you will serve because it is only logical and humane. Like Kennedy said, do not look at what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. So service is a key to a nation’s development.

Living to serve and serving to live is not just a notion, it is a lifestyle. In 2014, make it a habit to serve others with love. Putting a smile on someone is priceless and comes with a blessing from above. Believe me this is the simplest way to build society. Forget about aid for once and give it to someone today.

Today, every day, always, live to remember and to spread the word; LIVE TO SERVE AND SERVE TO LIVE.

Saved to live,live to serve

Saved to live,live to serve

DEAR 2014

Dear 2014, I would like to officially welcome you into my life. As 2013 may have told you at his farewell, I am not flawless. What you are in for is witnessing an individual striving to be better.

Dear 2014, you will note I have friends and I have enemies, some I can never tell apart. You will notice that pleasing some of them is pointless and if I am to continue in that direction, I lose my joy. I decided that maintaining an image that I’m not to satisfy others is suicidal. I humbly learned that my happiness matters-the most and I’m in control of its existence.

Dear 2014, do not judge me like the rest.2013 knows best that I do not appreciate that disease. I love correction, but you will not look down on me like I am the first acquaintance you met with a weakness. You will realise that it is thoughtful to encourage me, rebuke me, rationally criticise me as I reciprocate these gestures. The idea here is to help each other. Dear 2014, learn to build and not demolish because standing tall is the aim.

Dear 2014, 2013 may have explained how I have lately shun away from love.I remember how 2013 was impressed when I told him I had never met anyone that deserved me. He fathomed how high my standards had risen in relation to 2012. He, however, found me irresponsible when I told him also that I wasn’t ready to be committed. I don’t know if you will understand me in this area, 2014, but know that I live for patience and faith. You will soon learn that not all handsome guys are players and lack principles. You will learn not to judge a book by its covers.

Dear 2014, if I may be the only one not giving you promises people call resolutions, I am fine with it. I just want you to continue with me where 2013 left me because lying to you is lying to myself. You will see that my life is a constant struggle to perfection. I failed, I fell, I lost but I never gave up. I will frown and I will smile. I will fight and I will overcome, but through it all you will still be my companion, my year.

A new year is here

A new year is here

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

Nearing the year end,hearing about resolutions is such a cliché or the term itself  is simply a mantra.Apparently,most embrace the thought of becoming new like the coming year consequently not fathoming the real purpose of resolutions.Resolutions should ,however,not be perfunctory and transient, but carried out with prudence everyday.Anyway,2014 is around the corner and we are on this road again.

I don’t think I have to wait for a new year to opt for being better though. We have to realise that one’s positive change is valid at any time of the year.One should promptly act to any irregularity or abhorrent lifestyle detected in themselves.If new year’s resolutions  are the only treatment we give to ourselves in the hope to be better people,it will mean we overlook any other shortfalls in our lives because we will not give attention to these other aspects of change.This also means  that our change will only be seasonal which is unhealthy.My point is make necessary amendments as often as possible.

On the other hand,resolutions on their own are a positive step moving into a new year.The fact is the change into a new year is actually not felt physically,it is only the dates that change,otherwise you are still the same person you were the previous year.Resolutions are the easiest rules you can ever break maybe because you are the only person to enforce them on yourself.This is why self-discipline is a very substantial catalyst in this reaction or you may end up breaking one or two of your rules on the very first day of that particular year.

I wish to give you 5 tips to make sure your resolutions are a success

  1. Come to a consensus with yourself that you really need the change
  2. Remind yourself of the awkwardness your current status causes you
  3. Let someone close know about your plan so they remind you when you are off track
  4. Be ready to fight all the impeding factors like temptation and criticism
  5. Last but not the least, pray and meditate about your resolutions

Personally, I come up with resolutions every week which I honestly constantly struggle to cope up with on this journey in search of perfection. My message to anyone not enchanted by their present lifestyle is not to wait till next year, but work on themselves immediately. When you find a cause for war, you do not slacken, but go for it lest your rival pounces on you first to your disadvantage .Note that the change in mention is merely developing into a better person.However,change because it is necessary and not for a person because it should be about complacency-your happiness is key .

I pray you all go into the next year believing you will be a better people because you are working on yourselves at the moment. Wishing you all a wonderful festive season and a prosperous coming new year.God bless you all and stay safe.