WHAT IS ZAMBIANS CONNECT? 

On January 23rd,  I got to host Zambians connect. Zambians connect? Most of you should wonder. Well I was in the same position last year, only in my case I was left guessing. 

Was it a T.V show for Zambians in the US?  Well  at least that’s how the people tweeting about it made it seem from my perspective. Was it an event where Zambians abroad got to meet and greet? Well with patience I did find out. 

Zambians Connect or Zed Connect is a platform created by visionary Zambians who sought a platform to allow fellow Zambians to share ideas, express their views and showcase a glimpse of their lifestyles.

So technically, Zambians Connect is an account on Snapchat. I understand not many Zambians are on Snapchat,  so Snapchat is an app that allows you to share  videos and pictures from your camera. It is more addictive than my poor description of it. 

Similar to Curate Zed which most Zambians on twitter are familiar with, Zed connect has a host who answers questions or directs topics for discussion only the duration is a day for the Zed connect host and you get to see them speak in a video. 

What do I think of Zambians connect? 

1) It is so much fun. Some people have such contagious humour they brighten your day as they host. My friend, Margaret Mwanza is now a famous host. 🙂
2) It makes it easy for us who pay close attention to Zambian trends to analyse what direction modern Zambians are taking generally and what position they hold on national to global matters. 

3) It is inspiring. Seeing a host that is keen on success is an impetus for your hustle. 

What have I observed

Without a data census it is obvious that the most active Zambian users of snapchat are abroad. You can actually tell from the hosts. “Hey I am your new host my name is ……. and I live in the UK, US”. The most prominent reason as to why local users are not so active is because internet is  ridiculously expensive back home. You know the bundle life huh?  💪😬

The other reason I think is Snapchat isn’t of much interest to most people. Personally, I was on snapchat for more than a year and was unbothered  to add any friends. People are more enthusiastic about Facebook and recently twitter. 

The other observation is the prevalent attitude of Zambians being mean on social media. Most hosts complain of people ‘hating’ on their hosting (I am glad to not have encountered any incident during my hosting). I am not one to judge people, but I think we should put an end to laughing at some hosts’ accents. Zambia is not an indigenous English speaking country in the first place. Also when one does good, we need to appreciate. If one is wrong,  let us not turn them into a laughing stock and pretend we want them to host again so we can laugh,again.

The other thing I have noticed is hosts are not down to earth or simply real at times. It is imperative to be yourself. That’s the advise I got from one of the admins prior to my hosting. I enjoyed the recent hosting from the brother in Malaysia. He was so uninhibited. From speaking to singing to rapping,  he was himself. 

Some hosts are scared of speaking vernacular like they are still at a primary private school. Be proud of our mother tongues. I am telling you it is a mental prison to accept a language of another country at the expense of your own. Speaking good English is not a measure of intelligence. Be a Proud Zambian and emancipate yourself. 

Zambians connect is not about ‘flexing’. Flexing right? Well for us who don’t follow urban slang, I meant to say showing off. Personally I feel hosts should show us more of what is in their head than what they assume is on their bank accounts. 

Does Zambians connect need some rules? 

Definitely. With more than 20 000 and counting zambians following the account, it is important that hosts mind what they share. Talking of age restriction, the instagram page has a rating of 18+, but young users still have access.

How influential is Zed connect? 

 To a certain level I feel it is. I mean we now have Zambian girls and Zambians UK.Next we will have Zambians US or Zambians in Lusaka? That just shows how much of a trend setter it is .The hosts of the subsidiaries also follow the same procedures as the founding body. 

Also many people are so glued to Zed connect like it is game of thrones. I am sure some people know who the first host was up to the current one without having to check the Instagram Zed connect ‘Hall of Fame’. 😀

People are always tweeting about a host every day and when you do not know what ZC is, you get puzzled. So you can see how it has become a part of people. 

What do I think of Zambian girls? 

So Zambian girls is actually a very good platform too. Not just for us guys to see beautiful girls,  the girls are beautiful and we like that😍, but it is inspiring to see women with purpose. Nothing inspires me more or is more attractive than a focussed woman. So we are looking forward to seeing more educated ladies who we will one day work with to transform our third world country. 

How do I host?

If you are already on instagram, search for Zambians connect and message the admins who will present you available dates. On the day they will give you the password and id and voila,you are the host. 

If you are on snapchat Search for zambiansconnect on snapchat to follow the stories. 

Thanks so much for reading and also feel free to interact with me on my personal snapchat: aquila.ngonga 

 

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Young Zambian woman making a difference

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INTRODUCTION:  Aquila Speaks is proud to host Victoria Daka, a young Zambian lady extending her hand to the less privileged with her skill and love.

VICTORIA DAKA WRITES:
In life you never really understand something until circumstances and situations put you in a “no option” zone.

Like every other average teen my idea of fun was going out, being the star and basically just living life young ,wild and free. My life came to a halt when I was 18 and pregant. Everything seemed to be falling apart; in a year I was supposed to start my first law academic year ,I was going to be a mum. In my head I knew life would be tougher. My experience as a teen mom leaves me with one thing in mind, it’s never easy raising a child when you yourself are but a child.

A child can change you in ways you can only imagine, I saw the need to love and care for my child . My son is basically the motivating force in my life, he is the key reason I decided to begin volunteering for the motherless babies at an orphanage.

At the orphanage I met different people all with different stories. Indeed it’s the smiles I see on the kids everytime I’m there that encourages me to go on  every single day and not expect anything in return. To me, the fact that I can make a child happy by simply being a friend, a mentor, a sister is  overwhelming. I basically help the smallest learn to read and write, art and craft, plus my newly acquired hobby enables me to design and tailor dresses for the little girls.

These children are below 6 and are  23 in total: 3 girls and 10 boys. All these kids have different gifts and are beautiful in their own way, it is inspiring when I enter a room and they all run and scream to embrace me. The youngest, perhaps, is my favourite, he reminds me so much of my own son. Little joshua they call him. His crazy laugh feels me with joy. I have  found peace among children, children who have been  robbed of love and family by different circumstances, some death. Some have parents who simply can’t afford to care for them.

I have learnt so much over the past year,you can help someone simply by giving a part of you and this is knowledge our society lacks ,we are  each poor in one way or the other so when blessed in a specific area, share like it’s  your last.

I hope to grow with the same love and compassion and that one day I too will be able to help more than just physically but financially too by making a home for the other children out there, an orphanage of my own.

I hope my little story touched a few people. Love is never love until you give it away. Thank You all

AQUILA SPEAKS:
Stories like Victora’s are the kind many other women and generally the whole society can relate to, be it teenage pregnancy or Orphans. When I asked Victoria to write a story she coyly said she had not written anything in years because her love for writing had faded. I told her I would resurrect it and when she sent in her story,  I knew her writing would inspire many. I believe many teenage girls in Zambia can learn from this.

I am proud of her for being brave as this will help so many young Zambian mothers or any women who feel they had children at the wrong time. I believe everything is in God’s plan and there is no need to panic. You can simply make a good out of bad and move on. That is what should be our definition.

Orphans on the other hand should be a concern to all of us. No bragging intended, I made my first donation last year and given enough resources I could do that over and over again. I have had a glimpse into the lives of the less privileged and so I appreciate what Victoria is doing.  Do not get me wrong, but I will say this, being born with parents who fully care for us shadows the reality of the suffering of those who had not a similar privilege and  that is why we need that full exposure. It is only humane to help out the people who have less in our communities. I advise each one of you to just take some time and visit an orphanage near you . You do not necessarily have to donate, but spending time to interact with those children will be such a satisfying experience.

Thanks all for reading have a pleasant weak ahead. God bless. 

NB: Victoria is a shy one so she wasn’t ready to have her picture on the cover, but if you  have anything of encouragement to say to her, feel free to drop comments below she will appreciate.

RAPISTS IN CLERGYMEN’S SKIN

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The innocence of one at their birth is definite, but gradually begins to fade as the years go by. Guardians start introducing measures in the name of protection. You can’t go into the streets on your own because there are monsters out there. You start hearing of little children abducted, raped, killed and of serial killers. You develop fear. Growing older, you want something to believe in. Something to take away your fear, something to always assure you that as cold as the world may be, all will be well. Obviously, you discover religion and all your expectations of it are positive. Initially you believe those monsters of old never find their way into religion, until the news says Pastor Rapes, Bishop molests, you are shocked. You realise that if the world was a balance sheet, it would never balance.

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So what is wrong with the world today? No! I think the right question is “what is wrong with the church today”?  Paul once said that fornication and all uncleanness should never be mentioned among the saints. Ephesians {5:3}. Yes with God no sin is inferior to the other, but frankly in our eyes, rape is worse than fornication. Why should sexual harassment (and by church leaders) be mentioned in the church?

Yes to err is human, but a pervert is a pervert. I have never seen a healing procedure where the ‘man of God’ asks a woman to bring funny paraphernalia like milk, chicken, water from a river or oil to the bush where they remain isolated and plans to have her ‘healed’. I have never read a passage in the BIBLE that had the Lord Jesus Christ or any of the prophets lead a woman to a remote area to have them healed or delivered. I mean it is okay if you pray for her in your church office or in a room in your house, but not taking them to a place without people.

First of all you know it will be tempting for you to go with her to a faraway place where there are no people so why take her there in the first place?  There is very few who can act like Joseph. That’s a test for a pervert right there. That’s your musing expressed. You know already what you want to do to the woman. A real minister of God will not act in that manner. I just think such men are evil in their minds and outwardly appear godly and feign righteousness; they are Rapists in clergymen’s skin.

How are you going to bring in converts if such is your testimony? What god do you represent? If you know that women are your weakness or you basically have a corrupt mind, why not step down as a leader and seek rehabilitation? Why disgrace your name, your church and your family? You see things done in secret have a way to find themselves in public and that is no secret. As you enjoy undressing and touching that woman, know that God’s eyes are open and even the same woman’s eyes are. It will come in the open and then you will be judged by everyone, the law of the Land and not forgetting the almighty God. People exhibit no fear for God at all. It is alarming.

This isn’t just about church leaders, but any man or woman who takes advantage of others to abuse them sexually should come to their senses before they face God’s wrath. This goes to guardians of vulnerable children, employees and anyone who thinks their position has ‘benefits’ of mistreating others.

Now let’s talk about the victims of these ‘clergy men’s’ acts. Woman do you realise you have a “NO” word in your mouth? Oh yes you do, but why are you going to be foolish and desperate as to put your trust in a foolish man? Why do you have to be led like a tail into a bush were the person you think you trust so much could even murder you? Why put yourself in jeopardy? Have you not a sense of genuineness?  Maybe it’s true what they say that real recognise real. Wake up. Put your trust in God and not in a dying man. The bible says believers shall lay their hands on the sick and they shall recover (Mark 16:18), not invite them into the bush and undress them. So sisters, Ignorance is no defence, but knowledge is power.

Sometimes you are to blame because you get too desperate when you don’t have to. I have no support for the fools who take advantage of you however, you have to be cautious.

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Let’s put our trust in God and not man. Amen.
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PICTURES COURTESY OF GOOGLE SEARCH

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BEAUTY STANDARDS ARE BULLSHIT PART 2

And I mean everywhere.

And I mean everywhere.

One thing a female model will admire about me these days besides my face *wink* is my appetite. If you have seen me lately you can actually agree with me as my physical appearance says it all. I am not insinuating that I was the burly type before and then shrunk, but you all know I am kinda slim- if you know me. Recent remarks I get from people that last saw me a year or many months ago are finally becoming a cliché and honestly this is becoming irritating.

Sorry to disappoint anyone who read my very first blog post last year in November because I mentioned the Gym. Uhm nah I don’t want to remind you of that because it’s better for me if you don’t remember *laughs*. I don’t want to be judged as not a man of my words.

Let’s get back to the remarks. Sometime this year, my dad’s aunt visited us. You can agree with me that old people can be so blunt at times, maybe just Zambian grandparents. It had really been almost 2 years since I last saw her. Since I am a slim fit lover, and I am slim, the only thing this granny could notice is how much weight I had lost. Of course she could have said this in a funny way, but every grandchild knows a point has already been made in that case. “Look how small your waist is” Translate that into Bemba. Man! she made me feel like I was an AIDS patient, no offence to those people, but in all honesty, I felt that way. I almost felt like being slim was unacceptable or something. This part of society is utter bullshit.

So the remarks went on and on, I could have put up with them, but not until recently. The latest remark is what really got to my nerves. This woman visited my mother and seeing me fix myself a plate for lunch, she went on to say “Aquila, such little food, which is probably why you don’t get fat”. This looks innocent in writing, but if you are Zambian you can agree that it’s like you eat to get fat and again being fat doesn’t suggest being necessarily obese. In other words she meant, you should be eating enough to gain some weight, because your physical appearance is not right. See? This is another society stereotype. You can’t be thin, it is not normal, but also again they will tell you, you can’t be fat, it’s never normal. So what the hell is normal then? I don’t believe in it.

I don’t even know if that is some sort of beauty standard to them, but all that matters to me is that I am happy with what I look like. I don’t appreciate how society takes away your personal preference and ‘coerces’ you into complying with its standards. Do you know how many beautiful structured women are starving themselves so they can look like the model on the cover of vogue or on TV or men will not pursue them? Society wants them to believe that men only desire slender women, but last time I checked, one man’s meat was another man’s poison. We are all being drugged into believing these assumptions and we are too hypnotised to resist.

Screw those Magazines that present to you ‘Sexiest Man/Woman’. What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Look at it this way, the only people that will make it to the cover of that magazine is a small percentage of people who are considered to have the qualities of being ‘too sexy’. Does this mean the rest of the world is not good enough? Since the rest of us are not good enough, should we go and get facial jobs to look like those people? What the hell? I have never seen such crappy media. We are even there to vote for people to get those titles, blind enough not to see other people being judged as “not good enough”

I don’t believe in beauty and ugly all together. I believe everyone is beautiful in any way they prefer. You will hear words like “not good enough”, but trust me there’s no such thing we perceive as perfection. I will admit though that I really love the fact Lupita Ny’ong’o was named ‘most beautiful woman’ by People Magazine. I mean according to your T.V standards, she couldn’t even have been recognised, but it took rational people who saw beyond a fake perception of beauty and realised beauty could be defined in a million ways.

Many people are led to believe that Light skinned people are always winning, that you are not really beautiful if your skin is dark. That again is some bullshit. People are led into some society pressure of using chemicals that will make their skin lighter forgetting there are side effects involved. I believe that true beauty is natural beauty, doesn’t matter if you are Asian, White, Mixed, Black or Hispanic. Like Jermaine Cole once said, there is no need to fix what God already put a paint brush on.

Your movies make you believe that all men should be muscular. Every guy should look like Morris Chestnut. You are not sexy without a six pac. If you don’t feel like going to the gym bro, don’t even bother. Your muscles won’t keep your woman, but your personality and vision for your future. Again if you want to be muscular, there is nothing wrong with your choice. Remember, it should be about you and not what others think unless you are convinced they are right. I am not for the idea of going topless in public, but I admire Rick Ross’ attitude. How many men of his weight would be so proud of their body that way? I am not saying you now go and post pictures on Instagram showing your pot belly because this society still needs healing or just a purge, but I want you to know that if you love it that way, love it more. Trust me, society will one day flip the coin and say, pot bellies is the new sexy and every guy will go looking for one.

Ladies it is normal for you to easily get plump, but if it goes beyond proportion, it will be your choice to slim down and not done to please the world. I felt disgusted when Rob Kardashian’s weight gain became such a huge fuss, online. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Gaining weight doesn’t make you any stupid, stupidity lies in your mind.

I am so tired of people acting so inconsiderate; I am tired of some of these beauty standards. I have reached a point where I don’t even care if someone decides to believe I lack the qualities of what they call beauty because what matters is what I see in the mirror. I am not even cheeky or a narcissist. Pragmatically, no individual applied to God asking Him to make them some type of way and that is why at times I feel unnecessary plastic surgery is blasphemy. If God really thought you were ugly, he wouldn’t have possibly created you because God never created ugly -well unless you are Lucifer. Let’s just appreciate what we are. Everyone is beautiful and if we can all believe this, we won’t even care about society’s measuring rule.

You have no one to live up to. “Oh I got to look like Ronaldo”, or “I have to bleach my skin so men like me better”. No No No. Appreciate who you are because beauty standards are Just crap. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. What your eye sees in the mirror.
God bless you, thanks for reading and don’t forget to hit one of the share buttons below.

NB: You can read Beauty Standards are Bullshit part 1 by Belle Jar, Here

Televison and internet is the mirror society forces you to use

Televison and internet is the mirror society forces you to use