SO LONG 2016

 

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The most amazing thing about time these days is just how fast it has begun to go by. Maybe when you get older it becomes easier to vividly remember every detail that transpired throughout the year and especially early in the year because it seems like yesterday when they did transpire. I mean it was only January 2016 a few days ago and today is the last day of 2016.

If there was ever a year I became conscious of my getting wiser, it is this one. I feel like this year has been a classroom. I may not have been a top student in it, but I still got the lecture of a life time regardless.

One of the special courses was me. I took time to understand myself. I am proud to say that I know myself better than any other time before. I will be catching up with God soon, if it were possible that is. One thing I learnt was that my social skills aren’t so good. I find it hard to converse or initiate conversation with people I feel uncomfortable with, let alone small talk. I hate small talk. I say things I do not mean while expecting the other person to perceive it a joke only to realise months later that person was hurt. ‘’why so serious though”?  I saw a meme the other week that read ‘I have a good heart, but the way my mouth is set up’.  I said I could totally relate to it.

Well, enough about me, I will keep the rest of the findings to myself.

The second course was People. Wow, I have learnt so much about people this year. It was like I was absent minded all this while.  Normally I do not feel so important to be in other people’s topics so I haven’t really been worried about that. Presently I have realised I have. I am in topics where I am discussed as proud, egocentric, arrogant, well let me just sum it up for them,  the devil. Also in other discussions, I am an inspiration, humble, determined, and focussed and all those things. The funny thing, however ,is that the people I have assisted, gone lengths to impress and please have had the most negative things to say about me. This is confusing. You know it should be the people not so close to you.

Some good things have happened to me this year. I have achieved some things and also been recognised for some of those things. I am not a sucker for praises, but I realised that it was few people who could say well done or congratulations. I can never even post my achievements on social media with a clear mind.

I have vowed that envy,  jealousy or hate never be a part of me.  The truth about being jealous is that we wish to be like another person or have something the other possesses which we do not have. In so doing, we may have created enough hate for the other person but consequently made them important. As we move to 2017 I ask you all to congratulate those who deserve, appreciate those who helped us and be humble as to learn from someone who knows better. I believe that everyone’s time will come, but who will be there to be happy for you when you already hated on everyone else?

Also if you want to know about someone, get it directly from them or you will miss the real picture. I have a friend who is so happy with how far God has brought him in life and his achievements. People say he loves to brag and label him a bad person immediately because of that, but this is a person who provides solutions to so many people and remains dependent to many, including those that do label him.

In this year, the most important thing I have learnt concerning relations with humans is to pay a deaf ear to humans for only God can handle humans and we can never please everyone. I want to encourage those who are constantly irrationally criticised, that you end up thinking you are just evil, to continue doing what you do to the best of your ability. It may be at work, church, school or anywhere because the truth is we can never completely flee impossible beings. Do not look sideways or backwards, keep looking forward and keep doing the right thing and you may put a smile on God’s face and that’s what is important. Also do not be quick to trust everyone. Know what is worth sharing and who is worth sharing to. Just like present day romantic relationships are so fragile is the same way friendships are. I never thought I could help someone only for them to talk behind my back.

In 2017 I have no time for fake people. If you have nothing to add to my progress you are already voted out. It is very important to be around people that help you grow and appreciate you. I am not saying you will meet perfect people, but do find people who try.

The other course I learnt is how we are all in our own time zone. Your timing shouldn’t be compared to others. You will make it in your own time and I pray it will be God’s timing as we all know it is the best.

I have always believed that a year is an interval we created that begins and ends, but life goes on. So I may say I will do something in 2017 only because I have started doing it now. I have no resolutions. Everything will fall into place with time. It is not like a new year is the Holy Spirit that is only possible in inducing great and instant change in us.

I am thankful to God for bringing me this far. I will never be anything without him. I am thankful to all the people that have been there to encourage and build me. I appreciate the many people that believe in me.  I pray that you all move into this new year blessed people. I wish you nothing but the best and may the almighty God bless you.

So long 2016,you have opened my eyes wider, you have turned me into a better and stronger individual.

To everyone, Happy new year!!!

 

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#HowToKeepAZambianMan

Being a tweep for over four years, I think Zambian people have come to realise the beauty of twitter because for the first time in Zambian twitter history, people and I mean many people are finally enjoying the use of hashtags to talk about topics relating to the country (Insaka excluded) while having fan and coming up with solutions. Last time, the other topic that trended heavily in Zambia was #Bandunka. Unfortunately, it took me a while to know what dunka was and consequently, I couldn’t contribute much to the topic. So last night, I went to twitter (like every other night) this time to compile some interesting things you guys had to say about how to keep a Zambian man. Have no worries, you will go anonymous on my blog but if you see what you wrote, just say ‘I’ in your heart :). Here are some of the tweets worth noting.

                                                           #HowToKeepAZambianMan

  • • Commit him to the Lord in prayer
    • Don’t cook your skin, cook his food
    • Be the president’s daughter
    • Let him chill with the guys
    • Tell him you are leaving him
    • Don’t mention your spiritual husband ever
    • Don’t entertain every guy who likes you! You are taken act like it! They like their territory untouched
    • Tell him he looks like Chris Brown
    • Don’t be in the club every weekend
    • Never be known by every door bouncer at every club in LSK
    • Never ask him to watch Telemundo with you. Never!
    • Cook and dance *you know where* better than him
    • Let him have female best friends
    • Learn how to rock mukule so that he doesn’t worry about weaves
    • Respect his fifa time
    • Don’t just rely on missionary, learn new moves and positions. Memorise Kamasutra if need be
    • Be supportive and encouraging him even when times are hard
    • Make more money than him
    • Be a supporter, a woman that will raise a home and children. Not a chakolwa every weekend uli pa east point/Nipa club.
    • Don’t ask him where he was when he leaves on a Friday and comes back on a Sunday.
    • Don’t call him to ask what time he’s coming home when he is out with friends
    • Give him sex three to four times a day
    • Your friends shouldn’t have his number, do not tell them all the nice things he does. Zambian chicks are fast
    • Don’t be a Nipa girl
    • Know the difference between face painting and applying make up
    • Don’t say that style makes you feel like vomiting. Just give it to him.
    • Always remember you are Zambian, not Brazilian
    • Keep your eye brows
    • Give him space. Everyone needs it. You are not an appendage!
    • Have a plan for life
    • Accept that he will look at other girls. Being with you hasn’t made him blind
    • Don’t be a ZONE FAM GROUPIE
    • When he invites you for a drink, don’t come with Malita ,Shaquinta, Mutale ,Mulenga Martha, etc. unless he asked you to
    • Don’t ask him to stop drinking #alcohol
    • Don’t look like the joker after make up
    • You support his team. No questions, don’t argue. He will buy you a jersey and you will wear it with honour.
    • Don’t tell him to do house chores they are meant for him. #nogender
    • Be Esther or Catherine Phiri
    • Go Solange Knowles on him once a month

    From this you can tell how much fun people had. This is not an ultimate blueprint because as you can see, some tweeps chose to be hilarious. How you keep your man is up to you. You may take all the sensible advice from here, practice it and still be left. Only God can help you keep your man. A man should not leave you because you can’t do for him that which is awkward for you, he should be lucid or understanding. If you do not like something, you will voice out.
    To view more of these tweets, search for the hashtag, #HowToKeepAZambianMan on twitter and don’t forget to follow me on twitter @aqui_cuteboi_ Have a great weekend!!!!! 😉

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LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

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It doesn’t have to take a prodigy really to note that there lies a thin line between love and a relationship,but it is ironic how so many remain in a befuddled state in relation to the two.There are so many people in a relationship, but not in love. Yes, I guess you see the picture now.

Much as each of these two terms come in unique definitions (for an individual to be satisfied), they have to coexist. I mean why love someone you are not dating and whom you know will never reciprocate the feeling or why be in a relationship with someone you do not love and vice versa? My point is a relationship deprived of love is like washing a pig-there is absolutely no point.Some say love comes softly in a relationship, but I beg to differ because this is not always the case as the maturity of love depends on so many factors, for example the maturity of the two involved.

Usually, a relationship sparkles and flourishes initially. It really is an esplanade. It’s 10 calls plus a hundred sweet texts daily and a constant reminder of “I love you”. A huge commitment to a mutual cause in two people is reflected then. Maybe this a consequence of the ecstasy or excitement in experiencing something wonderfully new, but all we have noticed and possibly experienced is that the initial stages of a relationship or anything generally, brings out the best in people. I like to think though that the very best in people resurfaces when a relationship turns sour and they still strive to keep it working.

The decline in commitment in most relationships during their course can be accredited to the statements “too much of anything is bad/boring” and “variety is the spice of life”. The reason these two prove to be true in some relationships is due to lack of a vision of a lifetime commitment to that particular relationship. What is to be realized is that someday your interest in a person that extremely drives you crazy, has you blushing, resurrects butterflies in your stomach and all will actually wane. This serves as a premonition and prepares you for that day. It helps you make a decision you are sure of because you will know that a relationship’s stability actually fluctuates.

The greatest impedance to a robust relationship is cheating. It is the worst exhibition of one’s disrespect for their lover. I believe there is no reason to cheat for communication is a vital tool to express your discomfort. Temptation is one root of cheating. There are few men who can resist a buxom pursing them. Women on the other hand are pursued by men more successful and better looking than their man which is a huge temptation for them, but a rational woman really in love proves to overcome such a temptation mostly. Friends, a relationship is and should always be between two people, the third person is a devil as they come to destroy what you have built and suffered for. Say no to that intruder always.

If we can ignore temptations, implement a healthy communication channel and develop a strong will to fight for our relationships, we could have reduced enough break ups, divorces and obviously millions of heartbreaks worldwide. The greatest drive of a relationship is love and God is love.So pray for the stability of your relationship and your partner. You will be best guided that way as God is the greatest guru.Keep in mind that a relationship is a two way thing,both people have to put in as much to yield favorable results.

This is a very vast and controversial topic and so if you disagree with me in one way, I totally understand, but first are you fighting for your love and relationship?