SO LONG 2016

 

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The most amazing thing about time these days is just how fast it has begun to go by. Maybe when you get older it becomes easier to vividly remember every detail that transpired throughout the year and especially early in the year because it seems like yesterday when they did transpire. I mean it was only January 2016 a few days ago and today is the last day of 2016.

If there was ever a year I became conscious of my getting wiser, it is this one. I feel like this year has been a classroom. I may not have been a top student in it, but I still got the lecture of a life time regardless.

One of the special courses was me. I took time to understand myself. I am proud to say that I know myself better than any other time before. I will be catching up with God soon, if it were possible that is. One thing I learnt was that my social skills aren’t so good. I find it hard to converse or initiate conversation with people I feel uncomfortable with, let alone small talk. I hate small talk. I say things I do not mean while expecting the other person to perceive it a joke only to realise months later that person was hurt. ‘’why so serious though”?  I saw a meme the other week that read ‘I have a good heart, but the way my mouth is set up’.  I said I could totally relate to it.

Well, enough about me, I will keep the rest of the findings to myself.

The second course was People. Wow, I have learnt so much about people this year. It was like I was absent minded all this while.  Normally I do not feel so important to be in other people’s topics so I haven’t really been worried about that. Presently I have realised I have. I am in topics where I am discussed as proud, egocentric, arrogant, well let me just sum it up for them,  the devil. Also in other discussions, I am an inspiration, humble, determined, and focussed and all those things. The funny thing, however ,is that the people I have assisted, gone lengths to impress and please have had the most negative things to say about me. This is confusing. You know it should be the people not so close to you.

Some good things have happened to me this year. I have achieved some things and also been recognised for some of those things. I am not a sucker for praises, but I realised that it was few people who could say well done or congratulations. I can never even post my achievements on social media with a clear mind.

I have vowed that envy,  jealousy or hate never be a part of me.  The truth about being jealous is that we wish to be like another person or have something the other possesses which we do not have. In so doing, we may have created enough hate for the other person but consequently made them important. As we move to 2017 I ask you all to congratulate those who deserve, appreciate those who helped us and be humble as to learn from someone who knows better. I believe that everyone’s time will come, but who will be there to be happy for you when you already hated on everyone else?

Also if you want to know about someone, get it directly from them or you will miss the real picture. I have a friend who is so happy with how far God has brought him in life and his achievements. People say he loves to brag and label him a bad person immediately because of that, but this is a person who provides solutions to so many people and remains dependent to many, including those that do label him.

In this year, the most important thing I have learnt concerning relations with humans is to pay a deaf ear to humans for only God can handle humans and we can never please everyone. I want to encourage those who are constantly irrationally criticised, that you end up thinking you are just evil, to continue doing what you do to the best of your ability. It may be at work, church, school or anywhere because the truth is we can never completely flee impossible beings. Do not look sideways or backwards, keep looking forward and keep doing the right thing and you may put a smile on God’s face and that’s what is important. Also do not be quick to trust everyone. Know what is worth sharing and who is worth sharing to. Just like present day romantic relationships are so fragile is the same way friendships are. I never thought I could help someone only for them to talk behind my back.

In 2017 I have no time for fake people. If you have nothing to add to my progress you are already voted out. It is very important to be around people that help you grow and appreciate you. I am not saying you will meet perfect people, but do find people who try.

The other course I learnt is how we are all in our own time zone. Your timing shouldn’t be compared to others. You will make it in your own time and I pray it will be God’s timing as we all know it is the best.

I have always believed that a year is an interval we created that begins and ends, but life goes on. So I may say I will do something in 2017 only because I have started doing it now. I have no resolutions. Everything will fall into place with time. It is not like a new year is the Holy Spirit that is only possible in inducing great and instant change in us.

I am thankful to God for bringing me this far. I will never be anything without him. I am thankful to all the people that have been there to encourage and build me. I appreciate the many people that believe in me.  I pray that you all move into this new year blessed people. I wish you nothing but the best and may the almighty God bless you.

So long 2016,you have opened my eyes wider, you have turned me into a better and stronger individual.

To everyone, Happy new year!!!

 

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24 on the 24th

So we are here again for the 24th time in my life and 52nd for Mother Zambia.  Seeing so many young people that have been denied a chance to get older this year,  I will not complain of my being late for some deadlines, but just thank God for bringing me this far.

I have experienced quite a number of things thus far: Some good,  some bad. I believe some form of strength and faith has been granted in the process. My focus has been directed to greater goals which are viewed as unattainable to the non-believer. There is a constant thought about the future and a few worries and fears,  but there is so much inspiration floating around to keep me going.

Noticed a few flaws and they are now subject to my efforts to change. As an aspiring future president, being introverted pushes me in the corner at times. Also I have become so aware of how what I can say could affect others, so I am learning to be careful in my speech.

I have realised like most of you how when you are doing the right thing it shouldn’t be aimed at pleasing anyone because the truth of it all is you can never succeed in pleasing all. Therefore, I have surrounded my self with people that appreciate what I do, encourage, advise and constructively criticize me.

I know I am not the first 24year old who has sucked at relationships. I have no idea what it means to be in love. Maybe it is weird and strange to many, but I am glad I have delayed having a form of weakness. I, however, haven’t been the one to delay the process because it’s not my fault I have never really met one to sweep me off my feet. My standards remain high like Zambia’s inflation. I, however, still know God got me in his programs on this issue because I still pray for her wherever she is.

I said I would not complain, but it scares me how the years have flown by. My friends are graduating, getting jobs even buying cars, but I was late for uni. I am glad to be encouraged by one comrade of mine, Mukwavi who has always told me it is no accident where I stand today.My beautiful mother also always told me, it is never too late for me. I understand it is weird for her her baby is getting old. I think we shouldn’t complain, but make the most of the time we have. I have seen 35year olds talking about how they want to make it so I guess I still have some time.

I feel even more special for being born on our great day as Zambians. Today we remember our forefathers who shed their blood for our freedom, yet again it is a day I am reminded of a need for economic independence. Every day I hope it is not too late for our salvation. Being an African leader gets tougher as the years go by.

All in all,  I am happy with who I am today. I couldn’t be who I am though without God,  family and friends. Sincerely, I wish to appreciate everyone who has supported me and helped me on my journey. I will not disappoint you all.

My thoughts on Present Day Relationships

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I think it’s really been hard for me to keep up with posting blogs this year,(school is rough)that is why I made sure to drop a series of a Family Hustle every month. I have noticed that it has been like two years since I last did a post in relation to relationships, dating, love or anything in those lines. I usually shun away from such topics because I really do not want to come out as a connoisseur given the questions people ask me after.

So I am on a bus on my way to apply for my visa extension and I am just done working on an excel project so why not write something on the topic? Let’s talk relationships.

First of all I would like us all to realize how much social media has had an influence on our lives. The way we view things usually depends on what your timeline presents you with. What pictures do you see when you open your Instagram? What videos do you see on Facebook? There is one or two posts that will eventually influence how you view relationships.

Eventually you have what is famously called ‘relationship goals’ based on the video or picture you saw. There is nothing wrong with being inspired. Inspiration helps us to achieve great things. Unfortunately, great things do not come overnight. People want the good life, but are unwilling to work for those things.

Personally, I am inspired by Barack Obama, every time I see him with Michelle, I am like “one day”. Recently, I have been inspired by the Curries. I see a man who takes seriously what he does and is blessed to be good at it. A man I believe has to be hard working. I mean how else the hell will he be able to provide? I do not think ladies want to see men based on how handsome they are. Your networth defines how handsome you are these days. Which is both good and bad. Bad because gold diggers have grown even larger cannines in our generation , good that at least you can compensate on your not being good looking. *laughs*

One of the hardest things I have come to learn and accept is you can not always be lucky or blessed enough to get the exact person you want. I mean ladies you may never really find a dude that exactly matches your standards. You may meet a work in progress; an alcoholic, a visionless person or even a broke guy. Guys you may meet a girl that’s doesn’t match your beauty standards, lazy, not focussed in life, irresponsible and all over the place.

Life has taught me that at times you have to see beauty behind the madness, potential behind the pettiness. It is however not easy to just invest your time trying to change someone especially when they are so obstinate. I mean just like buying shares this is risky business.

One other thing I have noticed about our generation is our impatience and lack of preparation for the future. I don’t have to live in generations back to realise that there has never been a generation where people have wasted each other’s time more than this one. We initiate relationships knowing deep down that we don’t have any future plans for the other person. But because they are beautiful, we want to sleep with them and because they are rich you want them to ‘spoil’ you. We may as well just begin to sign contracts stipulating our intentions and expiration dates.

The other funny thing is that guys don’t want to go after the good girls and girls don’t want to go after vision filled guys who are viewed as boring . It’s just the law of magnetism here, unlike poles attract. Instead here the poles are not north and south, but bad and good. You know the guy is not good for you deep down, but you still stick to them. You know the girl likes you for what you can do for her , but you can’t let go. In the pursuit to have someone commit, you can only take so much disappointment. Eventually you have to let go and that shouldn’t take you years unless you enjoy being a slave. As I said earlier, it is risky business.

If you really want to your relationship to survive and flourish , you will have to put God at the centre. Instead of going to the club and on meaningless dates why can’t you go to church together, pray together? We have no control over love because tomorrow we may love someone else. There is a need to ask the One who is love to help us sustain our love for our partner. Sometimes we find being religious to be boring, I mean I do too, but there is no denying that only God can pull us through the rough edges.

We should learn to build relationships with the hope to build a future with our partner. A future that gives us everything we have ever dreamed of: beautiful children, grand mansions, cars and whatever things youths of today attach so much importance to.

All you need to be is patient. Of course you may take a short cut, but there are no short cuts without conseqences in this life. Nothing is free. Your ‘blesser’ may buy you a car, but you will pay him back with your dignity. Nothing defines a woman more than her dignity. Self worth is highly important.

A woman deserves to be with a man that recognises that she is priceless and that buying her jewelery is not what will wipe off her tears caused by his cheating.

Women should learn to be patient too. Your man may not give you everything you need (materially) today, but if he is trying to build himself, be there to back him, encourage him and pray for him.

It is more honourable to be the woman behind a man’s success than a woman who was bought with that man’s success.

Anyway, what do I know? 😝I think I have spoken enough, but still do reflect on the things that I have had to say. Have a great week ahead and God bless.

A Family Hustle: The Second Generation

EPISODE ONE (JANUARY)
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The vast room glowed red as though the air had been vaporised by the color. The air was fragrant with a sweet smelling French scent. There was no sense lacking stimulation as the music was a perfect match for the environment and once you saw the host, there was no escaping this lovely prison. As she made her last pole move, Michael knew from where he sat on the bed, like a little child hooked to telly, that he was about to go on a mind blowing trip. He always loved this part of his South African Business trips, she always knew how to take care of him.

Like a beautiful snake she slowly began to make advances towards him. His heart beat excitedly as he expected her. She always managed to make it seem like a new experience. As she was about to strike him with her skill, his phone blew into a ringtone. There was no avoiding this call and not even this naked buxom could stop him from doing so.

“How is she doing, doctor?” He asked the doctor in panic.

“Mr Hamooya, you need to relax. I cannot tell now for sure, but I am doing the best I can”, Doctor Phiri responded calmly.

Everything happened so quickly after the call. He was lucky Mashaba’s private Jet was available to get him into the country on time. His wife was in labor for their third child and it was unusually a complication. She had called him in the morning telling him she wasn’t feeling too well, but he just had plans for Lydia that afternoon after the meeting. For the second time since his cheating episodes, he felt sorry for his wife. The first was when he had done it the first time, he wished he had just apologized then and maybe he wouldn’t have gone far in this way. The guilt was burning his soul, but he was just happy to have made it on time.

After what seemed like two hours, Dr Phiri reappeared in the room and Michael immediately shot up.

“Mike, I’m sorry” He said.

Michael felt a huge pain in his heart like somebody was firing electric shots to his heart. He looked at his two sons and a sudden realization hit him that he had failed both as a husband and a father. Depression was slowly creeping in. The surviving baby had her mother’s eyes and nose. He looked the innocent baby in her eyes and called her Claire.

Never had he pictured Claire’s name on a grave stone. His wife was gone and he blamed no one else but himself for this. He had questions whose answers bred excruciating pain in his heart. Who was going to take care of his kids like she did? What was he to say to Peter who now was on a daily routine of questions about his mother’s whereabouts?

“Dad where is mum? Little peter asked inquisitively.

“Peter, mum is in heaven” he answered softly.

“Dad, can you please take me to heaven, I want to see mum” Peter shot again.

Usually people ask what they had done to deserve a predicament, but that was going to lack in Michael. His wife’s relatives had insisted on taking custody of the children and he saw himself in no position to disagree.

Michael felt his guilt outweighed the lessons life was handling him and when he was summoned by the Anti- Corruption commission presenting him office fund embezzlement charges, he had no time to feel sorry for himself. He knew he was going away for a very long time, he knew he had no time to seek redemption because he knew he didn’t deserve it. He knew this was his end, but deep down he knew it wasn’t because his children were still out there.
TBC

THE JUDGING GAME

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          THE JUDGING GAME
At one point or another, you may have called someone ugly, a loser, a douchebag, a snake or a hoe. Either way,you got to judge someone and if the rest of us claim you walked alone, hypocrisy won’t be enough to describe our demeanour.

Judging isn’t meant to be bad. It actually has a decent definition. According to the English Oxford dictionary, judging is forming an opinion about somebody or someone based on the information you have. See? Not bad at all. It does become bad when it is based on minimal information. For example, review the example below.

Person 1: Can you believe he took his own life?
Person 2: OMG! Such an infidel.

Person 1 lays a statement and person 2 forms an opinion based on that statement, but is this statement enough information to carry out a judgement? Person 1 doesn’t mention how depressed the suicide was and how they had no one to help them through their predicament, but person 2 is quick to call the suicide an infidel.

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Real Talk

It’s actually a stereotype in society to think low of people that take their lives, i mean I used to think the same way too when I was young. While I still believe it is never right to take your life, I have been through life situations that left me imagining how easy it could be for people having it worse to see death as an exit to pain, however temporary they know  the exit can be. Some people go through mental, emotional and physical pain that they just can’t take it anymore and see suicide as a relief pill. So before you call them an infidel, relax and imagine what really pushed them to break.

DON’T JUDGE ME
A very common detail in people’s  online bios. My twitter and instagram bio has one with a sarcastic hint, it reads “Judge Yourself”. So I was thinking to myself the other day. Do we ask people never to judge us because we are just guilty or  maybe we just can’t stand the bullshit of someone as imperfect as us trying to play a righteous number on us? I personally think it is a reminder to someone to stop wasting their time. Instead of forming an opinion about someone, why not work on making yourself better? Some say “Only God can judge me”, I say “I am afraid of God”.

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For Real Though!!

Like I alluded to earlier, judging is not meant to be bad. Surely let a spade be called a spade, but not call Captain Jack Sparrow a criminal when you have never even saved a life. Yes that’s a  deep  example, but whatever, I know u get it.

        NOW LISTEN UP SOCIETY
1)Just because you met two boys that screwed  you over doesn’t mean all men are dogs. Hell, your brother and father are men.

2)Why do you want to call her a hoe just because she respected and trusted you enough to sleep with you on the first date?

3)Just because I go to church on saturday doesn’t mean I am SDA

4?Just because someone consumes alcohol, a heavy smoker, goes out every weekend doesn’t mean you are better than them even when you are a frequent church goer.

5)Just because they keep to themselves doesn’t mean they are a weird, it’s not wrong to be a loner in a world that is easy to meet fake frienship

6)Just because they are South African doesn’t make them Xenophobic

7)Just because you go to church doesn’t mean you are saved

8)Dresing dandy or driving an expensive car doesn’t mean they are rich or happy

9)Just because she smiles at you all the time does’t mean she likes you. She may just be feeling sorry for you bro. So don’t go lying to your mates

10)listening to Justin Bieber or One Direction doesn’t make that guy gay.

11)and so on and so forth.

                     CONCLUSION
                     MATHEW 7:4
OR HOW WILT THOUGH SAY TO THY BROTHER, LET ME PULL OUT THE MOCE OF THINE EYE AND BEHOLD A BEAM IS IN THINE OWN EYE?

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Reflect on that.

VALENTINES DAY

aquilaspeaksValentines-DayYou realise this is my first post this year YEAH? Say this blog was my girl. I was too busy for it, kinda neglected it the past month. If my posting consistently is my expression of my love for it, you will probably say I failed it. But tomorrow is the 14th so “hey baby, I’m back”. You wanna mock that? Go ahead. You might as well remember to taunt the myriads of ‘romantic’ people in who turned Valentine’s Day into the hugest fuss of the year, like love is seasonal or something.

Valentine’s Day was better off without any romantic attachment to it. I wonder what Father Valentine would think of it now. Do I seem negative? First of all, respect and praise to everyone that is consistent and committed to their BAE, but, Shame upon all those who think consistency and true expression of love only exists on the 14, and after that the curve sinks low. Like I always say, if someone truly loves you, every day is Valentine’s Day, including your fights, they simply make your bond more robust. They are worth it, unless you are dealing with insecurities.

I think it is really ludicrous to not think of making a paradise every day, but this day. You last bought her flowers 5 months ago, your last date was the same way, but valentine’s oh Valentine’s day, you just gotta make it work. You last cooked his special treat centuries ago, but tomorrow, whoo you just wanna do it. Why? Because everyone else is doing it and you want  to show off just how ‘functional’ you are? Anyway, you are better off than those who never try, but they are being real about it though.

I met a new friend last week, her birthday falls on the 14th. Don’t think I’m dumb 🙂 I did check her NRC. BAZINGA!!!! Well, whether she lied or not, I am still getting her a gift, I would still do this, had her birthday fallen on any other day. I believe in making people happy and elating them and I don’t even expect anything in return. (I am afraid of unrequited love though, for real though)

So to me Valentines is about putting a smile on people’s faces whenever you have the opportunity and that opportunity is never restricted to the 14th.

Some Crazy meme reads “Valentine’s day is around the corner, so if you are secretly in love with me, now would be the time to speak up”.58159944
Like really? Is this the only day you think you deserve to feel special? (Do you sense the fuss now?) I hope all that admit they do are not quite your type. Lol .

If I really like someone, I will not till valentine’s day, I will let you know (if you not much of a trip that is 🙂 ). Why wait for FEB next year giving room to a confident Jerk to steal who you may never know might turn out to be mind blowing and enterprising? Do you guys really get the gist? By the way, shout out to whoever is hoping to escape the mighty FRIEND ZONE tomorrow, good luck with that. If you believe the 14th is magical, in the words of Michael Sata, “I’m sorry” 😀
I also can’t wait to see people dressed in red. lol Especially that man from Lusaka, red suite, red shirt red tie, red shoes,red umbrella and red plastic carrier bags lol Could this get any crazier?

Valentines day is beautiful though, at least we get to see that the world isn’t as cold as the stories from the news, that traces of love do exist, but please don’t make a fuss. Enjoy tomorrow everyone and keep loving. Love conquers all,remembering John 3:16 is the ultimate blueprint.
I will end this on a light note “Blessed are the boys who date seventh day girls for they shall be at church the all day on Valentine’s day and will only get to see them on sunday.” Lol

Love is the flower that is never out of season.

Love is the flower that is never out of season.

 

Aquila and 2014

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At the end of 2013, I made it clear that I had no resolutions to make and i would like to maintain the same with regards to 2015. Not that I was or am i impeccable, but i just couldn’t keep lying to myself or maybe force change upon myself. I remember breaking a resolution in the very first week of 2011. So I don’t plan for change anymore and it has worked for me. I’m actually proud to say that i grow better each year.

2014,yeah ? There is no way we can all experience a year the same way. I mean for some of you, it was such a prosperous year, to others a weird and confusing one. Some of you thought were not God’s favourite (i thought the same at some point). Others found love, a job, joined a new school, moved to a new country. The gist is 2014 treated us all differently.

The usual events we can never escape; Weddings, deaths, births e.t.c. did occur. I know you are reading this because you are alive, so take a moment to just thank God for bringing you this far. I mean personally, i consider myself to be the worst Christian and that does really compel me to thank God for always putting a sinner such as I on the list of the living each and every day I have lived.

Death? Yes it has deprived us all as Zambians, deprived us of our beloved president. Even as I look at the remaining politicians fighting for power, I know deep down my heart that no other politician touched me as profoundly as Michael Chilufya Sata did. Anyway, Come 2015, let us decide wisely and peacefully as usual.
P.Jay! Really? Just when you could have crossed the bridge? Listening to your songs and realising you are late is really disconcerting”.
May the soul of every loved one we lost this year rest in peace.

Okay now wipe your tears, it’s almost a new year. How about a smile? 🙂

Asking different people what their 2015 plan is, a mutual answer to get is the urge to start over. Do not misunderstand me there is nothing wrong with making resolutions, i just don’t believe in forcing change and besides, I don’t think it works a hundred percent for me. So if you really want to change, remain dedicated to your quest and be true to yourself.

My lifetime resolution however, has been to get closer to God each and every day, trust me it has never been easy. I am proud to say though that I’ve had a much better relationship with God this year than any other, but towards the end, it became compromised because I went through so much. I wanted to give up on God. I was upset that I couldn’t get my prayers answered. God tells us that we should ask and it will be given and I did that in the best way i could, but No was the answer. Everyone else seemed to be running on smooth ground, but me.

Have you ever put in so much and get so little or nothing at all in return? Yes i have been to hell and back in 2014. But then my hell couldn’t be compared to yours. It couldn’t be compared to myriads of people who suffered and died of Ebola, or those children in Pakistan who recently got killed, or maybe the people that one day got on a plane which decided to just ‘land’ in the Indian Ocean never to be found.

The healing is gradual and i understand that everything that happens according to God’s plan is in our best interest. If we realised the magnitude of God’s love for us, gratitude would ever be our anthem. I have also learned that there is a solution to everything so avoid panic attacks.

Ignoring failures and setbacks, so many awesome things have happened this year. We had a massive successful motivational talk back in April. I don’t even mean to brag, but we did organise donations too. I thank Byness and Kanta who really supported me on the major mission and all other colleagues who shared a similar vision during these projects by coming out to support me. One day (by His Grace) i want to be a philanthropist. I am scheduled to have my first radio interview this week .I was elated when the people at the old mosque informed me that my article had helped them get discovered by sponsors who promised to refurbish their building. Wow! I came close to meeting Dr. Kenneth Kaunda on a personal level, but then i screwed up my chance. I have vowed since to grab every chance that comes my way. I have written articles for newspapers. Hell! , my blog was new, but you guys voted it Best in the country, and the best new blog. I feel blessed. I want to do everything i can to move this blogging forward, to improve the reading culture in Zambia. My dream is to one day see Zambians excited about a new blog post like they are about a new song. Reading widely will transform our generation.

I feel humbled when people say “Hey, Aquila, I started a blog because of you”. I hope to inspire more people in 2015. It all comes to you the readers, if you can’t read there is no point in our writing and I thank you so much. Every new people i met both online and in person thanks for being a part of my life. I wish you all a blessed and prosperous new year.

In 2015 the search should be over, i should find her, hopefully. 😉