And I mean everywhere.
One thing a female model will admire about me these days besides my face *wink* is my appetite. If you have seen me lately you can actually agree with me as my physical appearance says it all. I am not insinuating that I was the burly type before and then shrunk, but you all know I am kinda slim- if you know me. Recent remarks I get from people that last saw me a year or many months ago are finally becoming a cliché and honestly this is becoming irritating.
Sorry to disappoint anyone who read my very first blog post last year in November because I mentioned the Gym. Uhm nah I don’t want to remind you of that because it’s better for me if you don’t remember *laughs*. I don’t want to be judged as not a man of my words.
Let’s get back to the remarks. Sometime this year, my dad’s aunt visited us. You can agree with me that old people can be so blunt at times, maybe just Zambian grandparents. It had really been almost 2 years since I last saw her. Since I am a slim fit lover, and I am slim, the only thing this granny could notice is how much weight I had lost. Of course she could have said this in a funny way, but every grandchild knows a point has already been made in that case. “Look how small your waist is” Translate that into Bemba. Man! she made me feel like I was an AIDS patient, no offence to those people, but in all honesty, I felt that way. I almost felt like being slim was unacceptable or something. This part of society is utter bullshit.
So the remarks went on and on, I could have put up with them, but not until recently. The latest remark is what really got to my nerves. This woman visited my mother and seeing me fix myself a plate for lunch, she went on to say “Aquila, such little food, which is probably why you don’t get fat”. This looks innocent in writing, but if you are Zambian you can agree that it’s like you eat to get fat and again being fat doesn’t suggest being necessarily obese. In other words she meant, you should be eating enough to gain some weight, because your physical appearance is not right. See? This is another society stereotype. You can’t be thin, it is not normal, but also again they will tell you, you can’t be fat, it’s never normal. So what the hell is normal then? I don’t believe in it.
I don’t even know if that is some sort of beauty standard to them, but all that matters to me is that I am happy with what I look like. I don’t appreciate how society takes away your personal preference and ‘coerces’ you into complying with its standards. Do you know how many beautiful structured women are starving themselves so they can look like the model on the cover of vogue or on TV or men will not pursue them? Society wants them to believe that men only desire slender women, but last time I checked, one man’s meat was another man’s poison. We are all being drugged into believing these assumptions and we are too hypnotised to resist.
Screw those Magazines that present to you ‘Sexiest Man/Woman’. What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Look at it this way, the only people that will make it to the cover of that magazine is a small percentage of people who are considered to have the qualities of being ‘too sexy’. Does this mean the rest of the world is not good enough? Since the rest of us are not good enough, should we go and get facial jobs to look like those people? What the hell? I have never seen such crappy media. We are even there to vote for people to get those titles, blind enough not to see other people being judged as “not good enough”
I don’t believe in beauty and ugly all together. I believe everyone is beautiful in any way they prefer. You will hear words like “not good enough”, but trust me there’s no such thing we perceive as perfection. I will admit though that I really love the fact Lupita Ny’ong’o was named ‘most beautiful woman’ by People Magazine. I mean according to your T.V standards, she couldn’t even have been recognised, but it took rational people who saw beyond a fake perception of beauty and realised beauty could be defined in a million ways.
Many people are led to believe that Light skinned people are always winning, that you are not really beautiful if your skin is dark. That again is some bullshit. People are led into some society pressure of using chemicals that will make their skin lighter forgetting there are side effects involved. I believe that true beauty is natural beauty, doesn’t matter if you are Asian, White, Mixed, Black or Hispanic. Like Jermaine Cole once said, there is no need to fix what God already put a paint brush on.
Your movies make you believe that all men should be muscular. Every guy should look like Morris Chestnut. You are not sexy without a six pac. If you don’t feel like going to the gym bro, don’t even bother. Your muscles won’t keep your woman, but your personality and vision for your future. Again if you want to be muscular, there is nothing wrong with your choice. Remember, it should be about you and not what others think unless you are convinced they are right. I am not for the idea of going topless in public, but I admire Rick Ross’ attitude. How many men of his weight would be so proud of their body that way? I am not saying you now go and post pictures on Instagram showing your pot belly because this society still needs healing or just a purge, but I want you to know that if you love it that way, love it more. Trust me, society will one day flip the coin and say, pot bellies is the new sexy and every guy will go looking for one.
Ladies it is normal for you to easily get plump, but if it goes beyond proportion, it will be your choice to slim down and not done to please the world. I felt disgusted when Rob Kardashian’s weight gain became such a huge fuss, online. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Gaining weight doesn’t make you any stupid, stupidity lies in your mind.
I am so tired of people acting so inconsiderate; I am tired of some of these beauty standards. I have reached a point where I don’t even care if someone decides to believe I lack the qualities of what they call beauty because what matters is what I see in the mirror. I am not even cheeky or a narcissist. Pragmatically, no individual applied to God asking Him to make them some type of way and that is why at times I feel unnecessary plastic surgery is blasphemy. If God really thought you were ugly, he wouldn’t have possibly created you because God never created ugly -well unless you are Lucifer. Let’s just appreciate what we are. Everyone is beautiful and if we can all believe this, we won’t even care about society’s measuring rule.
You have no one to live up to. “Oh I got to look like Ronaldo”, or “I have to bleach my skin so men like me better”. No No No. Appreciate who you are because beauty standards are Just crap. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. What your eye sees in the mirror.
God bless you, thanks for reading and don’t forget to hit one of the share buttons below.
NB: You can read Beauty Standards are Bullshit part 1 by Belle Jar, Here
Televison and internet is the mirror society forces you to use