FRIENDSHIP

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One of the most integral elements of human relations is friendship. No matter how much of an island we may be, at some point we will desire a ‘friendship’ to dock.  Friendship is very essential in multiple aspects of our lives. Friends make us smile when we feel low, they encourage us when on a daunting mission, and friends point us to a lucrative direction. At least this is what friendship should be all about and more as we look at it from a positive perspective.  It is somehow human nature that we cannot do by ourselves and to tick we need friendship, most of all nobody wants to be put to rest by a stranger.

Friendship is a tool that shapes us in so many ways. The kind of friends we choose play a role in what we may become. Energies, attitudes and personalities can be so contagious. A significant part of me today is because of the people I surrounded myself with. There is some music I listen to or some shows I watch because of some friends I met. There are also some things I believe in, do, some kind of way I talk and some things I say which I inherited from friends. This is something we can all relate to.

So the influence of our friends is something we can’t overlook. What kind of shows or music did your mates introduce you to? What kind of beliefs did they expose you to? What kind of behaviour and attitude towards life do you and your friend(s) share? The answers could be positive or negative.  We realise how a significant part of our personality is influenced by friends.  How we will present ourselves to the public will be determined by the substance we feed on with or from our friends.

The way I see it, friendship should be mutually beneficial. These days people are friends with others not exactly that they share mutual interests, but that they seek some sort of benefit or validation. I came to realise some girls wanted to be friends with prettier or popular girls so they too could seem relevant. Some guys want to be friends with another because they are wealthier and will help them in times of need. I have nothing against these agendas as long as you reciprocate the benefits.

What you do not need are burdens- friends who impede your progress.  This is where we begin to draw a line between healthy and toxic friendships. As youths we are trying so hard to build something for the future. I don’t think there has ever been a generation where youths have had huger aspirations. People have crazy dreams mostly because of the provocation they see on social media and television of the good life celebrities and other ‘happy’ and wealthier people portray.  If one ever has to achieve those goals and aspirations, they ought to be careful what kind of company they choose to keep.

If your friends are no visionaries, you are off to a bad start. It is important you choose friends that support you, believe in you and bring out the best in you. I think the most important thing really is to find friends that make you happy most of all. Talking of burdens, you do not need to be around people that the touch of evolution  always misses. You cannot be the same person you were two years ago. Growth is the most important thing. The more your friend grows the more you will be pushed to do the same, unless you are foolish enough to see that as a threat. You can’t be around people who always make other people the center of their discussion. You need to be around people that discuss ideas, make plans and believe in compassion. If the activities within your circle stay the same, you need to exit.

Learn to be thrilled by your friends’ accomplishments. This brings me to this point of unnecessary competition and jealousy. In friendship, never be imprisoned by the disease of jealousy. No matter how bad things seem for you, but great for your friends, be happy for them and simply wait your turn. Friendship is not a competition. Be kind, be generous and support your friends no matter how much your life sucks compared to theirs. Being a fake friend is evil.

 

However, great friendships are hard to come by, let alone maintain. Just like we seek a good partner in a romantic relationship, it will be imperative to find a great friend. A huge task i must add. Friendship may be beautiful, but also what sees our decline sometimes.As i conclude this article, I leave you with a quote and excerpt from The 48 laws of power by Robert Greene which is law number two:

 

 “Never Put too much Trust in friends”. “Be wary of friends, they will betray you more quickly, for they are aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and aroused to envy. They become spoiled and tyrannical.

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A Family Hustle: The Second Generation (EPISODE 4)

EPISODE FOUR (APRIL)

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6 YEARS LATER…

CLAIRE

Mathematically, it could be precise to say that the innocence with which we are born is a decreasing function with time. Experiences we encounter allow us to change in ways diverse. The rapidness with which our innocence disappears may depend greatly on how vulnerable we may get. With GrandMa Mary’s lost battle to cancer, Claire Hamooya had grown to be vulnerable.

She was now under the care of her uncle. He had taken good care of her all this while until after she was 15 when he had started acting weird towards her. She clearly remembered his betrayal of her last year, everyday.She remembered how when she had come back from school had only found her uncle home. Normally he was always at work at 2pm during week days, but that Wednesday was an exception.

He had called her to his bedroom asking her to bring him water, but that was a trick. No sooner had she entered his room than he had shut the door and pounced on her like a lion on an unsuspecting gazelle.

Her cheeks burned with the hot ocean that poured  from her eyes every time her mind fed her with the memory. At her age, she was so unprepared for such a predicament, not that she had to be. She was forced to contemplate suicide, she was looking for a way to escape the evil world.

The hardest thing of it all was she knew the truth would set her free, but how would she open up to a world that would become even more complicated after. Her uncle’s wife would never shut up about how much she thought her husband loved her. How would the woman react if Claire told her about the cold blooded defiler, the full time devil?  She knew her Aunt would never believe her and probably kick her out. Claire was forced to analyse all these things. At her age, girls normally have to worry about less petty issues,but at her age she was forced to be a woman. She remembered her uncle’s threats.

“If you tell anyone, I will kill you” he had told her.

She could tell her father, but her beloved dad was too sick and weak to be handling such  cases and she never thought her brothers would be the best avengers.

She forgot to pray, not that she couldn’t. She had questioned her beliefs. Where was the God her grandmother always told her would always be there? Why had he allowed her to suffer? Was she too cursed that her birth caused her mother’s death?

Her teachers were worried as her grades were poor of late. They had called her guardians for a meeting due to the rising concerns. Her uncle was the first to give a reason as to why it was this way.

“I think she may be missing her grandmother”. the devil had said. “She will be okay, won’t you Claire?” he added with a smile.

The hypocrisy of her Uncle tore her heart apart. She could never get used to his disgusting behavior. She had been thinking about poisoning his food, but her plans were just limited to her thoughts. She knew sooner or later, she had to do something about it, but the question still remained, “how”?

A Family Hustle: The Second Generation (EPISODE 3)

EPISODE THREE (MARCH)

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It is often said that God hears the cry and sees the tears of a woman.  Mostly, this is never apparent to a man at the peak of his ‘cheating game’. There however, comes a point when life ceases to be a crystal stair for the man and when he finally tries to connect the dots realizes he cooked his own problems. This is the point Michael Hamooya had reached. He had the slightest idea that two weeks after his daughter’s birthday, he would be standing before a judge slapped with another corruption Charge. He now strongly believed everything would be different now had he only stuck by Claire.

He had now realized there was no more hope for his release. He realized he had been played. A deal gone wrong had landed him in this mess and his former organization was not letting him get away that easily. This case needed not be adjourned, the judge proved him guilty again.

This moment sung with so much sorrow that for once Gary put aside his hatred for his father as his eyes watered. Grandma Mary was in tears too as she held Claire tightly. Peter remembered the days that followed his mother’s passing, he could never get used to losing parents. For a moment, the court room felt much like a grave yard to them all. They felt like they were saying good bye to Michael forever.

                               BACK AT GRANDMA MARY’S HOUSE

Devoid of the appetite to eat, the grandmother and her grand children sat in the living room. They talked about their favorite moments with Mike while Gary was quiet for the most part of it.

“I know you have heard so many stories about your Father from other people, but there is a lot of things you do not know about my son”, Grandma Mary suddenly Said

She told them how Mike was actually her favorite child. She told them how he was the only one who proved responsible in supporting the extended family and how much he loved their mother.

“I don’t think he loved mum, if he really did, he couldn’t be away when she needed him the most”, Gary quickly shot in indignation.

“Gary, your father can never rewrite his wrongs, but you know he has learned enough lessons, you also have learned something from this and it should make you a better man in future, by not making your father’s mistakes” Mary said patiently.

“I think we should pray for dad, Grandma” Peter said after listening to Grandma and Gary for a while.

“Indeed Peter”, she smiled at him.

Grandma Mary always smiled to make her grand children feel better, but deep down she knew she that she was cracking down. She wondered if her grand children would be well taken care of once she died. She worried and she really did about little Claire. They had grown so fond of each other over the years. She had no answers to her worries so she simply put them in prayers.

“Dear Lord, we come to you”, she began to pray.

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A FAMILY HUSTLE: THE SECOND GENERATION (E2)

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EPISODE TWO (FEBRUARY)
On her ninth birthday, Claire had wished her dad could be present on her tenth. She had grown so fond of him. A father daughter relationship that grew stronger during the prison visits. She saw him past the court’s conviction. She saw her father and She loved him.

It was as though her grandma had been in her mind, eavesdropping, because she had been working in line with Claire’s wish. She had been arranging for Mike to attend his little girl’s party.

The funny thing of it all was it seemed Mike was the first rich man justice had happened to. Initially, his lawyers thought they could pull it off, but when more than three quarters of his property had been seized by the state, they knew a politically motivated case was far from being won.

Peter and Gary, the oldest of the three had come through from Chingola and Kitwe respectively. Every one little Claire loved was here except her dad and of course her beloved mother her eyes had never set on.

“Now put on that smile birthday girl. Who frowns on their day? ”, her grandma Mary said, knowing the little girl just wanted to see her father.
Mike should have been here at 2pm, but it was now a quarter past 3. She cursed them so hard in her heart, but then instantly remembered Pastor Ben’s Patience is holy sermon.

It was almost 4 when Mike showed up at the gate with two casually dressed cops beside him. The cops had insisted to attend the party as part of the arrangement-a party of a little girl they barely knew. Anything for the love of food could be anyone’s guess. However, Mary could care less, her son was home.
“Daddy”, little Claire screamed while running with open arms to her father.

“Hello Princess, nice party you have going on here, come here, I got you something”, Mike smiled.

“Missed you dad”, Peter embraced his dad.

“Wow, you grow bigger every time I see you, I wonder what kind of food your aunt is feeding you on the copper belt”  Mike said with a chuckle then suddenly with a worried face added , “Where is your older brother?”

As though programmed, they turned to look at Gary in unison who in turn looked back at his father with a furious face and walked away.

“Come here princess, let me show you something” he smiled at Claire

He gave her his wife’s silver necklace.
“This is for you princess, your mother would be so proud of you, Happy birthday, Daddy loves you”

As she ran to her friends to show off her new gift, Mike wished his wife was here, he wished everything was normal. His heart burned, but he wasn’t going to let melancholy prevail, today was his little girl’s day.

The party had been going well so far, except of course the funny questions and stares some of his relatives tossed him and a growing fear that his son may have been turned against him by his wife’s sister. He had also noticed another thing wrong with Gary; he had a scar on his lower lip as though it was sliced by a knife. He knew his son had been fighting and possibly drinking. He never thought Lusaka would look this different.

“Okay, everyone gather around”, shouted Grandma Mary

This time Claire wished her dad would be released as she blew over her cake.

“She keeps transforming into her mother by the years”, grandma Mary said as she and Max watched her

“It’s magical”, he said with a smile. “Listen mum, I am very grateful for what you have been doing for my daughter, I..”

“Son, they told me they may be releasing you in a year and a half depending on the Judge’s decision and I want you to come and be there for your children. I am dying, Michael. This cancer doesn’t seem to leave. I am good for a year plus according to the doctor, but I may go. I want you to inherit my house and build a home again with your children|”

“But,.. but,, why did you not tell me all this time mum? Why?”, he said with watery eyes.

“You have enough problems as it is, Michael so I want you to be strong. Gary has been a problem. Esther told me he has joined the Jerahbos. He’s barely 16 and it will be you to shape him when you get released. You have more problems than to worry about me.”

Michael had never felt this vulnerable. His mother was dying, his son was a mess, and he was still in prison. Maybe melancholy would prevail after all. He wished his day would not have to end this way as the cops drove him back to the prison.
TBC

A Family Hustle: The Second Generation

EPISODE ONE (JANUARY)
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The vast room glowed red as though the air had been vaporised by the color. The air was fragrant with a sweet smelling French scent. There was no sense lacking stimulation as the music was a perfect match for the environment and once you saw the host, there was no escaping this lovely prison. As she made her last pole move, Michael knew from where he sat on the bed, like a little child hooked to telly, that he was about to go on a mind blowing trip. He always loved this part of his South African Business trips, she always knew how to take care of him.

Like a beautiful snake she slowly began to make advances towards him. His heart beat excitedly as he expected her. She always managed to make it seem like a new experience. As she was about to strike him with her skill, his phone blew into a ringtone. There was no avoiding this call and not even this naked buxom could stop him from doing so.

“How is she doing, doctor?” He asked the doctor in panic.

“Mr Hamooya, you need to relax. I cannot tell now for sure, but I am doing the best I can”, Doctor Phiri responded calmly.

Everything happened so quickly after the call. He was lucky Mashaba’s private Jet was available to get him into the country on time. His wife was in labor for their third child and it was unusually a complication. She had called him in the morning telling him she wasn’t feeling too well, but he just had plans for Lydia that afternoon after the meeting. For the second time since his cheating episodes, he felt sorry for his wife. The first was when he had done it the first time, he wished he had just apologized then and maybe he wouldn’t have gone far in this way. The guilt was burning his soul, but he was just happy to have made it on time.

After what seemed like two hours, Dr Phiri reappeared in the room and Michael immediately shot up.

“Mike, I’m sorry” He said.

Michael felt a huge pain in his heart like somebody was firing electric shots to his heart. He looked at his two sons and a sudden realization hit him that he had failed both as a husband and a father. Depression was slowly creeping in. The surviving baby had her mother’s eyes and nose. He looked the innocent baby in her eyes and called her Claire.

Never had he pictured Claire’s name on a grave stone. His wife was gone and he blamed no one else but himself for this. He had questions whose answers bred excruciating pain in his heart. Who was going to take care of his kids like she did? What was he to say to Peter who now was on a daily routine of questions about his mother’s whereabouts?

“Dad where is mum? Little peter asked inquisitively.

“Peter, mum is in heaven” he answered softly.

“Dad, can you please take me to heaven, I want to see mum” Peter shot again.

Usually people ask what they had done to deserve a predicament, but that was going to lack in Michael. His wife’s relatives had insisted on taking custody of the children and he saw himself in no position to disagree.

Michael felt his guilt outweighed the lessons life was handling him and when he was summoned by the Anti- Corruption commission presenting him office fund embezzlement charges, he had no time to feel sorry for himself. He knew he was going away for a very long time, he knew he had no time to seek redemption because he knew he didn’t deserve it. He knew this was his end, but deep down he knew it wasn’t because his children were still out there.
TBC

THE JUDGING GAME

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          THE JUDGING GAME
At one point or another, you may have called someone ugly, a loser, a douchebag, a snake or a hoe. Either way,you got to judge someone and if the rest of us claim you walked alone, hypocrisy won’t be enough to describe our demeanour.

Judging isn’t meant to be bad. It actually has a decent definition. According to the English Oxford dictionary, judging is forming an opinion about somebody or someone based on the information you have. See? Not bad at all. It does become bad when it is based on minimal information. For example, review the example below.

Person 1: Can you believe he took his own life?
Person 2: OMG! Such an infidel.

Person 1 lays a statement and person 2 forms an opinion based on that statement, but is this statement enough information to carry out a judgement? Person 1 doesn’t mention how depressed the suicide was and how they had no one to help them through their predicament, but person 2 is quick to call the suicide an infidel.

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Real Talk

It’s actually a stereotype in society to think low of people that take their lives, i mean I used to think the same way too when I was young. While I still believe it is never right to take your life, I have been through life situations that left me imagining how easy it could be for people having it worse to see death as an exit to pain, however temporary they know  the exit can be. Some people go through mental, emotional and physical pain that they just can’t take it anymore and see suicide as a relief pill. So before you call them an infidel, relax and imagine what really pushed them to break.

DON’T JUDGE ME
A very common detail in people’s  online bios. My twitter and instagram bio has one with a sarcastic hint, it reads “Judge Yourself”. So I was thinking to myself the other day. Do we ask people never to judge us because we are just guilty or  maybe we just can’t stand the bullshit of someone as imperfect as us trying to play a righteous number on us? I personally think it is a reminder to someone to stop wasting their time. Instead of forming an opinion about someone, why not work on making yourself better? Some say “Only God can judge me”, I say “I am afraid of God”.

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For Real Though!!

Like I alluded to earlier, judging is not meant to be bad. Surely let a spade be called a spade, but not call Captain Jack Sparrow a criminal when you have never even saved a life. Yes that’s a  deep  example, but whatever, I know u get it.

        NOW LISTEN UP SOCIETY
1)Just because you met two boys that screwed  you over doesn’t mean all men are dogs. Hell, your brother and father are men.

2)Why do you want to call her a hoe just because she respected and trusted you enough to sleep with you on the first date?

3)Just because I go to church on saturday doesn’t mean I am SDA

4?Just because someone consumes alcohol, a heavy smoker, goes out every weekend doesn’t mean you are better than them even when you are a frequent church goer.

5)Just because they keep to themselves doesn’t mean they are a weird, it’s not wrong to be a loner in a world that is easy to meet fake frienship

6)Just because they are South African doesn’t make them Xenophobic

7)Just because you go to church doesn’t mean you are saved

8)Dresing dandy or driving an expensive car doesn’t mean they are rich or happy

9)Just because she smiles at you all the time does’t mean she likes you. She may just be feeling sorry for you bro. So don’t go lying to your mates

10)listening to Justin Bieber or One Direction doesn’t make that guy gay.

11)and so on and so forth.

                     CONCLUSION
                     MATHEW 7:4
OR HOW WILT THOUGH SAY TO THY BROTHER, LET ME PULL OUT THE MOCE OF THINE EYE AND BEHOLD A BEAM IS IN THINE OWN EYE?

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Reflect on that.

RACISM-THE WORLD’S WILDEST ANIMAL

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Man has played around with dolphins, rode elephants, had tigers in his home and even trusted snakes around his neck. However, he has not been able to control a certain animal.

The irony of it all is he is always trying to maintain control over everything, but never had the capacity to fully control this animal. Well i get it. I mean it stings like a bee, smells like a skunk, chews like a hippo, swallows like an anaconda and roars like a lion, no not really, it’s too cowardly, snarls like a dog. Don’t be fooled though, it is still wildly.

The Funny thing is some people have been able to walk with it. They are perfectly good people except they will not like you because you are green when they are purple or because they are blue and you are pink.

As this walk continues, it leaves me questioning the real definition of civilization as most societies tend to believe they are civilized.

For as long as this walk continues, we will be able to relate to the wildlife food chain where a Lion consumes an impala, only in our case, it is more of a spiteful chain.

I bleed red, you do too . Though my skin colour be different from yours, you are just like me. Just because I am green and you are not doesn’t mean you can’t be as good as me. It is no competition, but it just shows how far we have gone, testing our abilities just to prove a point when it  is simply common sense. It also sounds like a plea to be accepted.

We wake up to videos, pictures and stories on social media depicting people that walk with this animal. We have seen it walk in people we should run to for protection- the police, we have seen it run in buses, planes.

Maybe these people never chose this walk, but the animal chose them. But, I like to believe we all have a choice to make- free will.

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RACISM IS TAUGHT, NO ONE IS BORN RACIST. GIVE THE KIDS A BREAK, THEY HAVE A FUTURE IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT YOURS.

A baby may freak out upon seeing a human of a different colour for the first time. However,  the baby will get over it eventually  and even want to be in the arms of ‘what’ it feared. It is really up to someone to impart some Dogma into this child. The child then walks with the animal because they were just ignorant. So we should watch what we say to our little ones. We are never born with this walk, we are taught this walk and as adults may adopt this walk because of influence around us.

Living in China for some months has me appreciating certain parts. Little kids are always saying “hello” when they see me and my friends and want to feel our hair. If these kids’ parents decide to tell them negative stories about my race, the children may walk with the animal.

Certain parts  take us 15 minutes for a cab to stop. Are the Taxi drivers walking with the animal? Or maybe I am just paying for the sins of other people of my race who made it a tendancy not to pay after using a taxi? Even in our suspicions we may walk with the animal without realizing it.

You don’t have to mistreat some one to walk with the animal. If you pay a blind eye to a racist act, you walk with it. If you believe you are inferior to another race, you walk with it. Oh! you may say  “I don’t walk with it Aquila” Well without realizing it, you may have judged  a whole race because of what one person did against you.

I don’t believe Barack Obama is that special. Yes, he is the first Black president  but i believe there we’re many black men before him who could have made even better presidents than him.  I love Barack Obama not because he was the first black president, but because of some of his qualities. We should stop stop terming people as black presidents, female presidents because at the end of it all, there is no such things as a red,blue, male or female mind to run affairs.

It reminds me of the irrational comments I saw on Facebook when Dr Guy Scott took over presidential affairs after the late Micheal Sata passed on (MHSRIP). Some users  could say “we are back in the colonial times as a white man is leading us”. That is preposterous. In years to come, we will have fourth generation people of every race who will want to exercise their right as Zambians  to stand as  Parliamentary or presidential candidates. My point is we could all easily walk with the animal without knowing.

I may not be the first person to speak against this walk, but if we all changed our stance and got more and more people to speak against it while practicing what they preached we could have advocated for IMG_20150706_132552a racism free world. It’s like people want a HIV free generation and not a Racist free one.

Love is what can heal us all. There is no race that is completely racist. This is 2015 we should be able to hold hands and to your surprise, you won’t get any rash by doing that.

SAY NO TO THE ANIMAL, SAY NO TO RACISM, LET US ALL SMILE TOGETHER WITH ONE FACE.

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