SHADES OF DEATH

Every day I feel death is smiling. Mocking humanity because it is more ‘productive’ than any of us. Every day I feel death looks at humanity like a flower quickly fading.

With all the great men it took away, the pride in his eyes the blind see.
How R.I.P has become more of a word than an abbreviation.
Saying “RIP I will miss you” like we are so sure for a long time we’ll be in this generation.

We cry for others but not for ourselves. When those we buried will never cry for us.
Are we afraid we may get on the same bus? Or is humanity finally generous? To be sorry for one that just found peace?
Or we see him say I am coming for you next in his hiss?

He seems distant at times until we see him on the news bragging of how he swallowed hundreds.
He must be really contaminated because he swallows any kind.

Maybe death lives in our hearts? How when the commander said “fire”, death fed on thousands.
You will see me on the balcony of the earth weeping. Yes! I just cried for the thousands.
I am like an ant on an Indian street. Yes.

The old man says “son have no pride for even the proud sleep in a soiled duvet today”.

Is death ashamed when one’s not afraid of him? Or is he impressed with the depressed man that called on him? All we know is he still took him away. They say he who never talks about death is a coward, but death kissed both the coward and the supposedly hero anyway.

For what separates a killer by sword and a killer by word?
For we die and kill every day
What if you were told you were to die a day after your birthday? Imagine the emotion that would foster?
Think of the cancer patient living on the words of his doctor. “Get your affairs in order. You have approximately 3 to 6 months before your heart lays still”. How did Steve Jobs feel?

I think we should make peace with death, because it is just a reminder that we have one lifetime. A lifetime to pursue the most important goals, live the cherished moments with our loved ones, smile and laugh hard, make peace not war, create and not hate, clothe and not loathe so that when time comes to shake hands with death, it was money well spent
.
Never forget that whenever you walk through the shades of death, He who death fears watches over you. Just watch everything you do.

7 requisites for a REAL relationship

Love is a game that two can play and both win-Eva Gabor

(1) LOVE:   Well if it’s not about love just do both yourselves a huge favour and save valuable time by splitting up. You watched LOVE COMES SOFTLY and thought “hey! It’s worth a try”, but I am saying, are you mature enough to patiently wait for love to set into your nest? You have been together for 6 months and no shades of love had appeared. A relationship devoid of love is the worst way to waste time. Love is the magnet between you two; it is the basis of your relationship. Without love, they will do whatever to hurt you without even giving it a second thought. Love is easier expressed in actions than speech. When a man loves his lady, he will do everything for her, open her car door, get her gifts, show her off and today’s people will say, “Oh dude’s whipped”. There is nothing wrong with being whipped to her if she really loves you.

(2) Communication: “hey Hun, thinking about you right now. I really miss you. Can’t wait to see your pretty face again <3. K later, Love you”. Ladies don’t you just love this? When we let you know we actually, care, love you and think you are pretty? Now imagine if the last time he sent such a text was a month ago? I can imagine some insecure, extreme girls going all crazy “so why don’t you text me no more? Who’s the h*e you been texting and not me? Tell her that when I see her I am gona tear her apart. I will cut off her arms and beat her up with them.” 😀 *rotfl*. Communication right? A marriage is doomed if communication is lacking. You see as you go on, the romance begins to wane. She doesn’t do everything she used to do for you; you are beginning to hate her hair do, her laughter irritates you. It is important to talk about such and the simplest things. It begins as a petty thing and once unpatched in good time, you will eventually desire another partner. So Talk about how you can spice things up. Don’t always do the same old boring stuff, be spontaneous and try out new things, just head in a different direction for a change. Always let your partners know you love and belong only to them, compliment them, never leave them in a position to become sceptical and insecure. Always be sorry and apologise when you are wrong. Always TALK.

(3)Trust: I always say “Trust and Rome have one thing in common: they were both not built in a day”, be sure to quote me some day yeah :). When you were a little kid and your dad asked you to jump from a tree (you couldn’t climb down from because you got scared, I wonder why you had to climb it up in the first place. lol #Kids) into his arms, you would most definitely do that. Why? Because you obviously trusted him. This is no different in your relationship. If he told you he was going on a business trip for a month, will you grow insecure wings? Get a one degree in GPS tracking? If you don’t trust him, you will go as far as booking a flight for the next day so you can go and ‘Check-up’ on him, but with trust, you will have nothing to worry about because you believe your man will be back in one piece with no stains of other women on him. I know they teach us never to trust anyone, but you will have to trust the person who owns your heart.

(4)Respect: If he doesn’t respect you, he will beat you, have side chicks and lie to you. If she doesn’t respect you she will stab you in the back too, date your ‘best friend’, despise you and… oh boy do I really need to stress enough? This is obvious; you know how the story goes. Respect is imperative.

(5)Loyalty: uhm Chris Brown will preach more on the absence of that, only this time it will apply both ways because in truth, some men ain’t loyal too. But be loyal to your own, people. A relationship is between two people, call the third a devil because he/she comes to kill, steal and destroy.

(6)Cooperation: You should learn to play on the same team. To achieve your goals, you will have to support each other. If you both can’t learn to listen to each other, you are in the Titanic. You have to acknowledge his/her views. You should be the best advisor they ever had. I personally appreciate women who are wise enough as to admonish him if he’s taking the wrong path. Just saying this because I am a guy, but it has to go both ways.

(7)God: This deserves to be number one because without God, there is no Love and any of the above listed. PSALMS 127:1 “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it .So let God build your relationship so it remains steady and sturdy. Always pray for one another and go to church together. No weapon formed by anyone will prosper against your relationship. Trust God.

SEX TAPES: IS FILMING YOUR ACT OKAY?

Still a shoking and controversial topic in Zambia

I have been at pains to express myself regarding this topic, but yet again I have managed to keep my cool until recently all my Twitter and Facebook feed have had a tweet or an update about Bobby East since this weekend. Well I don’t know how true this is that the recently leaked Zambian sex tape features Zambian rapper, Bobby East, but I am sure those interested enough as to have seen it can testify better. It is a shame though how some people are busy making reviews of it publicly.

So sex tapes yeah? Quite a sensitive topic on a critical platform which is our country, but given the fact that the existence of sex tapes in Zambia is no longer a western story, we can’t afford to be hypocritical and remain quiet. This is something we need to discuss. After so many events we have seen reported in the news, Zambia’s innocence is in doubt.

The main question here is why do couples have to film their coitus.

Last year my mate introduced me to a reality show most of you should be familiar with called Love and Hip-hop Atlanta. This was how come I came to know Stevie J’s baby mama, Mimi Faust. See I reserved so much respect for MIMI and hated Stevie for having cheated on her. However, a few months ago the Love and Hip-hop Facebook page reported about MIMI making a sex tape she was apparently proud of. I felt so disappointed given I held MIMI in high esteem. MIMI made the sex tape for money and fame. The other day I read she made US$ 100 000 off it.

I know $100 000 sounds like cool cash, but I believe that was the stupidest way to earn it. You see, MIMI is a mother of a little girl who will one day grow up to learn of what her mother did back then. I wonder what Mimi will have to say to the little girl if she herself makes one when she is only a teenager. Will she say “Eva, I am so disappointed in you”? No! Absolutely No.

Money on the other hand is not meant to last. If Vincent McMahon could lose $350 million at once, how much more $100K? In such a case, would it have been worth it for MIMI to undress for the Camera, which is the eye of the internet? I don’t know. I don’t want to judge MIMI. I am merely feeding you my opinion.

Most celebrity sex tapes have been inspired by Mrs Kim West and Paris Hilton who today enjoy millions of dollars and fame. There is hardly a week that IN TOUCH WEEKLY or the HUFFINGTON POST doesn’t post about Kim Kardashian.

Another girl that went to do a sex tape is the great Emmy award winning actor Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter, Montana. I can only imagine how much pain Mr Fishburne choked on when he received the news. I know parents tell their children they can be anything they want, but if you asked them, none would want to raise a pornstar.

You see Africa or Zambia specifically is influenced so much by the west and all this is evident in the way we talk, dress, walk and from the western examples I have cited, you can now imagine the roots of these tapes surfacing here. All this is possible, thanks to television and the internet.

But wake up my fellow Africans, this is not America. Today Kim Kardashian is married regardless of a sex tape history, but what man will be willing to take you as wife here and whose man’s family will accept you?

I want to believe that a couple filming their acts does it for themselves as the only viewing audience, but how it ends up to the public is a question of responsibility and trust. When one of the two is childish enough as to show other parties their filmed acts, the other will suffer the consequences, well both of them actually although it is always worse for the girl. However, it is still against the Zambian law to produce such material. If you are going to make such, you need to carefully guard it because you never know in whose hands it lands. Work on your privacy settings at least. Get me right though, I am not in support of such.

Personally, I would never film my act. I mean what’s the point. I don’t believe sex was meant to be filmed. Before the first camera more than two centuries ago, people enjoyed coitus all the same. It is not as if the pleasure will be enhanced once a camera is introduced.

The consequences you face once that tape leaks will outweigh any advantages you imagined of making that sex tape by 99:1. First of all, you will have to face the judging eyes and mouths of society because your self-esteem will be questioned – worse for an honourable being as a woman. Secondly, the law will have to play its part on you too. I can go on listing the consequences.

So my answer is NO, it is not okay to film your act. Your act should be between you two and in the confines of your bedroom. I think sex has lost its meaning today. It is a huge shame that pornography sites are even allowed to be hosted on the internet. What about the little ones, what about the coming generations? If this generation can be this perverted, I can only imagine the future.

So people let us be very careful with how we use our webcams, phone cameras, TV cameras and most of all, don’t make a sex tape. You may not agree with everything I have had to say, but hey we are all entitled to our opinion. I am sorry if you feel i said too much, 🙂 but I hope I will not have to write about such again in the hope that my message will be carried through. Zambia is a Christian nation, we can’t risk losing that. Who knows, maybe that’s why God grants us peace.

Thanks for reading and have a great week ahead and God bless Zambia.

MY PAST MONDAY

Chikabala and Eva give out a jersey to a pupil.

I know I took a break from blogging after having blogged for 5 days in a row two weeks ago. However, I decided to drop a blog post at a very unusual hour ( given my posts are mostly in the morning).
I hope you all did a constructive thing this week. Well I did, I was part of a donating project this week and it was awesome.
This Monday morning, my bro Bobat called me up asking me to get ready in an hour so he could pick me up. I got to meet his friend from Cyprus, Eva Smagacz. She is quite outgoing, it’s never a dull moment. She was representing Cyprus International University while Bobat, you can now call him Mr Chikabala Kaleta, represented Kaleta voluntary support. Chikabala Kaleta is the founder of Kaleta Voluntary Support and he had partnered with CIU to donate football jerseys that day.
Long Story cut short, we arrived at around 11 hours in Chambishi township. The head teacher received us warmly. Oh yeah the name of the school is Chambeshi High School.
After some discussions with the Head teacher we were off to see the students. Well that was after I had declined the offer to Speak. I wasn’t in my motivational speaker mode that morning.
We got to meet the students. Chikabala and Eva motivated the students who seemed so happy and excited.
Well that was it. Below are some photos I took while there and you should know that this is the first blog post I have typed from my phone :). Good evening

I should have known better than to dress casually 🙂

Eva motivates the pupils

Chikabala rewards a deserving pupil

The pupils