SO LONG 2016

 

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The most amazing thing about time these days is just how fast it has begun to go by. Maybe when you get older it becomes easier to vividly remember every detail that transpired throughout the year and especially early in the year because it seems like yesterday when they did transpire. I mean it was only January 2016 a few days ago and today is the last day of 2016.

If there was ever a year I became conscious of my getting wiser, it is this one. I feel like this year has been a classroom. I may not have been a top student in it, but I still got the lecture of a life time regardless.

One of the special courses was me. I took time to understand myself. I am proud to say that I know myself better than any other time before. I will be catching up with God soon, if it were possible that is. One thing I learnt was that my social skills aren’t so good. I find it hard to converse or initiate conversation with people I feel uncomfortable with, let alone small talk. I hate small talk. I say things I do not mean while expecting the other person to perceive it a joke only to realise months later that person was hurt. ‘’why so serious though”?  I saw a meme the other week that read ‘I have a good heart, but the way my mouth is set up’.  I said I could totally relate to it.

Well, enough about me, I will keep the rest of the findings to myself.

The second course was People. Wow, I have learnt so much about people this year. It was like I was absent minded all this while.  Normally I do not feel so important to be in other people’s topics so I haven’t really been worried about that. Presently I have realised I have. I am in topics where I am discussed as proud, egocentric, arrogant, well let me just sum it up for them,  the devil. Also in other discussions, I am an inspiration, humble, determined, and focussed and all those things. The funny thing, however ,is that the people I have assisted, gone lengths to impress and please have had the most negative things to say about me. This is confusing. You know it should be the people not so close to you.

Some good things have happened to me this year. I have achieved some things and also been recognised for some of those things. I am not a sucker for praises, but I realised that it was few people who could say well done or congratulations. I can never even post my achievements on social media with a clear mind.

I have vowed that envy,  jealousy or hate never be a part of me.  The truth about being jealous is that we wish to be like another person or have something the other possesses which we do not have. In so doing, we may have created enough hate for the other person but consequently made them important. As we move to 2017 I ask you all to congratulate those who deserve, appreciate those who helped us and be humble as to learn from someone who knows better. I believe that everyone’s time will come, but who will be there to be happy for you when you already hated on everyone else?

Also if you want to know about someone, get it directly from them or you will miss the real picture. I have a friend who is so happy with how far God has brought him in life and his achievements. People say he loves to brag and label him a bad person immediately because of that, but this is a person who provides solutions to so many people and remains dependent to many, including those that do label him.

In this year, the most important thing I have learnt concerning relations with humans is to pay a deaf ear to humans for only God can handle humans and we can never please everyone. I want to encourage those who are constantly irrationally criticised, that you end up thinking you are just evil, to continue doing what you do to the best of your ability. It may be at work, church, school or anywhere because the truth is we can never completely flee impossible beings. Do not look sideways or backwards, keep looking forward and keep doing the right thing and you may put a smile on God’s face and that’s what is important. Also do not be quick to trust everyone. Know what is worth sharing and who is worth sharing to. Just like present day romantic relationships are so fragile is the same way friendships are. I never thought I could help someone only for them to talk behind my back.

In 2017 I have no time for fake people. If you have nothing to add to my progress you are already voted out. It is very important to be around people that help you grow and appreciate you. I am not saying you will meet perfect people, but do find people who try.

The other course I learnt is how we are all in our own time zone. Your timing shouldn’t be compared to others. You will make it in your own time and I pray it will be God’s timing as we all know it is the best.

I have always believed that a year is an interval we created that begins and ends, but life goes on. So I may say I will do something in 2017 only because I have started doing it now. I have no resolutions. Everything will fall into place with time. It is not like a new year is the Holy Spirit that is only possible in inducing great and instant change in us.

I am thankful to God for bringing me this far. I will never be anything without him. I am thankful to all the people that have been there to encourage and build me. I appreciate the many people that believe in me.  I pray that you all move into this new year blessed people. I wish you nothing but the best and may the almighty God bless you.

So long 2016,you have opened my eyes wider, you have turned me into a better and stronger individual.

To everyone, Happy new year!!!

 

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24 on the 24th

So we are here again for the 24th time in my life and 52nd for Mother Zambia.  Seeing so many young people that have been denied a chance to get older this year,  I will not complain of my being late for some deadlines, but just thank God for bringing me this far.

I have experienced quite a number of things thus far: Some good,  some bad. I believe some form of strength and faith has been granted in the process. My focus has been directed to greater goals which are viewed as unattainable to the non-believer. There is a constant thought about the future and a few worries and fears,  but there is so much inspiration floating around to keep me going.

Noticed a few flaws and they are now subject to my efforts to change. As an aspiring future president, being introverted pushes me in the corner at times. Also I have become so aware of how what I can say could affect others, so I am learning to be careful in my speech.

I have realised like most of you how when you are doing the right thing it shouldn’t be aimed at pleasing anyone because the truth of it all is you can never succeed in pleasing all. Therefore, I have surrounded my self with people that appreciate what I do, encourage, advise and constructively criticize me.

I know I am not the first 24year old who has sucked at relationships. I have no idea what it means to be in love. Maybe it is weird and strange to many, but I am glad I have delayed having a form of weakness. I, however, haven’t been the one to delay the process because it’s not my fault I have never really met one to sweep me off my feet. My standards remain high like Zambia’s inflation. I, however, still know God got me in his programs on this issue because I still pray for her wherever she is.

I said I would not complain, but it scares me how the years have flown by. My friends are graduating, getting jobs even buying cars, but I was late for uni. I am glad to be encouraged by one comrade of mine, Mukwavi who has always told me it is no accident where I stand today.My beautiful mother also always told me, it is never too late for me. I understand it is weird for her her baby is getting old. I think we shouldn’t complain, but make the most of the time we have. I have seen 35year olds talking about how they want to make it so I guess I still have some time.

I feel even more special for being born on our great day as Zambians. Today we remember our forefathers who shed their blood for our freedom, yet again it is a day I am reminded of a need for economic independence. Every day I hope it is not too late for our salvation. Being an African leader gets tougher as the years go by.

All in all,  I am happy with who I am today. I couldn’t be who I am though without God,  family and friends. Sincerely, I wish to appreciate everyone who has supported me and helped me on my journey. I will not disappoint you all.

My thoughts on Present Day Relationships

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I think it’s really been hard for me to keep up with posting blogs this year,(school is rough)that is why I made sure to drop a series of a Family Hustle every month. I have noticed that it has been like two years since I last did a post in relation to relationships, dating, love or anything in those lines. I usually shun away from such topics because I really do not want to come out as a connoisseur given the questions people ask me after.

So I am on a bus on my way to apply for my visa extension and I am just done working on an excel project so why not write something on the topic? Let’s talk relationships.

First of all I would like us all to realize how much social media has had an influence on our lives. The way we view things usually depends on what your timeline presents you with. What pictures do you see when you open your Instagram? What videos do you see on Facebook? There is one or two posts that will eventually influence how you view relationships.

Eventually you have what is famously called ‘relationship goals’ based on the video or picture you saw. There is nothing wrong with being inspired. Inspiration helps us to achieve great things. Unfortunately, great things do not come overnight. People want the good life, but are unwilling to work for those things.

Personally, I am inspired by Barack Obama, every time I see him with Michelle, I am like “one day”. Recently, I have been inspired by the Curries. I see a man who takes seriously what he does and is blessed to be good at it. A man I believe has to be hard working. I mean how else the hell will he be able to provide? I do not think ladies want to see men based on how handsome they are. Your networth defines how handsome you are these days. Which is both good and bad. Bad because gold diggers have grown even larger cannines in our generation , good that at least you can compensate on your not being good looking. *laughs*

One of the hardest things I have come to learn and accept is you can not always be lucky or blessed enough to get the exact person you want. I mean ladies you may never really find a dude that exactly matches your standards. You may meet a work in progress; an alcoholic, a visionless person or even a broke guy. Guys you may meet a girl that’s doesn’t match your beauty standards, lazy, not focussed in life, irresponsible and all over the place.

Life has taught me that at times you have to see beauty behind the madness, potential behind the pettiness. It is however not easy to just invest your time trying to change someone especially when they are so obstinate. I mean just like buying shares this is risky business.

One other thing I have noticed about our generation is our impatience and lack of preparation for the future. I don’t have to live in generations back to realise that there has never been a generation where people have wasted each other’s time more than this one. We initiate relationships knowing deep down that we don’t have any future plans for the other person. But because they are beautiful, we want to sleep with them and because they are rich you want them to ‘spoil’ you. We may as well just begin to sign contracts stipulating our intentions and expiration dates.

The other funny thing is that guys don’t want to go after the good girls and girls don’t want to go after vision filled guys who are viewed as boring . It’s just the law of magnetism here, unlike poles attract. Instead here the poles are not north and south, but bad and good. You know the guy is not good for you deep down, but you still stick to them. You know the girl likes you for what you can do for her , but you can’t let go. In the pursuit to have someone commit, you can only take so much disappointment. Eventually you have to let go and that shouldn’t take you years unless you enjoy being a slave. As I said earlier, it is risky business.

If you really want to your relationship to survive and flourish , you will have to put God at the centre. Instead of going to the club and on meaningless dates why can’t you go to church together, pray together? We have no control over love because tomorrow we may love someone else. There is a need to ask the One who is love to help us sustain our love for our partner. Sometimes we find being religious to be boring, I mean I do too, but there is no denying that only God can pull us through the rough edges.

We should learn to build relationships with the hope to build a future with our partner. A future that gives us everything we have ever dreamed of: beautiful children, grand mansions, cars and whatever things youths of today attach so much importance to.

All you need to be is patient. Of course you may take a short cut, but there are no short cuts without conseqences in this life. Nothing is free. Your ‘blesser’ may buy you a car, but you will pay him back with your dignity. Nothing defines a woman more than her dignity. Self worth is highly important.

A woman deserves to be with a man that recognises that she is priceless and that buying her jewelery is not what will wipe off her tears caused by his cheating.

Women should learn to be patient too. Your man may not give you everything you need (materially) today, but if he is trying to build himself, be there to back him, encourage him and pray for him.

It is more honourable to be the woman behind a man’s success than a woman who was bought with that man’s success.

Anyway, what do I know? 😝I think I have spoken enough, but still do reflect on the things that I have had to say. Have a great week ahead and God bless.

A Family Hustle: The Second Generation (EPISODE 5)

EPISODE FIVE (MAY)

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6 YEARS LATER…

GARY

“Let us all toast to umupondo wesu, 1 Gee” said Bazzah

Every one immediately responded to their boss’s request (command) not because they were just scared of him, but also because their mate Gary really was a man to adore. They had just come from one of the hardest missions they had had to undergo along Ndola-Kapiri Road. Someone had tipped off the police and the gun fight was almost lost until Gary had appeared from almost nowhere and single handedly shot dead all ten policemen.

Some among the group said he had simply mastered the art of shooting, but some had confessed how they saw him shot, but never to drop a pint of blood. None of that mattered now, they had successfully gotten away with millions worth of copper. They were in money again, all they had to do was lay low for a few weeks.

Gary recalled the first time he had gone on a robbery and realized how far he had come. He was only 15 then. He was indifferent, he had no remorse, he hated life, but most of all, he hated his father. He had left his Aunt’s house eventually to join Bazzah and his crew. Bazzah was as rough as a Jerah leader came, but always treated Gary like his son. He had taught him to denounce his fear.

Gary excused himself from the party and went to his room. Local music filled his room from the radio. DJ Nano even played his favorite song by Macky 2, but deep inside, he felt something was missing. His mind was boiling with fear while his heart raced. He had taken a life before, but today had felt different. For the first time as a robber, he felt remorseful. He looked at his phone and looked at his little sister on his wallpaper. At least he could sleep.

In his sleep, he dreamed of little children asking him why he had stolen their fathers from him.A while later, he woke up to the sound of the news. The Inspector general of Zambia police was speaking.

“We shall not let those scumbags get away with this, we can never let our men’s blood drip in vain. My men are doing everything they can and a reward of K100000 will be given for any information leading to the apprehension of these villains”

For the first time, Gary missed his old man. He had a feeling they might not get away with this robbery this time around.He heard boots approaching his door and quickly he turned off the radio. It was the commander.

“boss”, Gary shot up

“mwaiche, the heat is too much so we are going to Kibaki in Congo, only you will come with me, the rest will go back to kitwe, we don’t need to arouse suspicion” Bazzah said in his deep voice. “The Cargo will be here for a while”

Bazzah looked closely at Gary.

“Mwaiche, what’s wrong? you look low”

“Nothing boss, just tired”

“Keep it together young man, imagine everything we will do when we sell the cargo. Don’t you want to buy that BMW?”

Gary was getting tired of this talk. It was utter bullshit to him now. He knew they could keep doing this over and over again. He wanted to be free of Bazzah, but Bazzah had a grip on his life.He continued to think about the policemen.

TBC…

 

 

A Family Hustle: The Second Generation (EPISODE 4)

EPISODE FOUR (APRIL)

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6 YEARS LATER…

CLAIRE

Mathematically, it could be precise to say that the innocence with which we are born is a decreasing function with time. Experiences we encounter allow us to change in ways diverse. The rapidness with which our innocence disappears may depend greatly on how vulnerable we may get. With GrandMa Mary’s lost battle to cancer, Claire Hamooya had grown to be vulnerable.

She was now under the care of her uncle. He had taken good care of her all this while until after she was 15 when he had started acting weird towards her. She clearly remembered his betrayal of her last year, everyday.She remembered how when she had come back from school had only found her uncle home. Normally he was always at work at 2pm during week days, but that Wednesday was an exception.

He had called her to his bedroom asking her to bring him water, but that was a trick. No sooner had she entered his room than he had shut the door and pounced on her like a lion on an unsuspecting gazelle.

Her cheeks burned with the hot ocean that poured  from her eyes every time her mind fed her with the memory. At her age, she was so unprepared for such a predicament, not that she had to be. She was forced to contemplate suicide, she was looking for a way to escape the evil world.

The hardest thing of it all was she knew the truth would set her free, but how would she open up to a world that would become even more complicated after. Her uncle’s wife would never shut up about how much she thought her husband loved her. How would the woman react if Claire told her about the cold blooded defiler, the full time devil?  She knew her Aunt would never believe her and probably kick her out. Claire was forced to analyse all these things. At her age, girls normally have to worry about less petty issues,but at her age she was forced to be a woman. She remembered her uncle’s threats.

“If you tell anyone, I will kill you” he had told her.

She could tell her father, but her beloved dad was too sick and weak to be handling such  cases and she never thought her brothers would be the best avengers.

She forgot to pray, not that she couldn’t. She had questioned her beliefs. Where was the God her grandmother always told her would always be there? Why had he allowed her to suffer? Was she too cursed that her birth caused her mother’s death?

Her teachers were worried as her grades were poor of late. They had called her guardians for a meeting due to the rising concerns. Her uncle was the first to give a reason as to why it was this way.

“I think she may be missing her grandmother”. the devil had said. “She will be okay, won’t you Claire?” he added with a smile.

The hypocrisy of her Uncle tore her heart apart. She could never get used to his disgusting behavior. She had been thinking about poisoning his food, but her plans were just limited to her thoughts. She knew sooner or later, she had to do something about it, but the question still remained, “how”?

A Family Hustle: The Second Generation (EPISODE 3)

EPISODE THREE (MARCH)

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It is often said that God hears the cry and sees the tears of a woman.  Mostly, this is never apparent to a man at the peak of his ‘cheating game’. There however, comes a point when life ceases to be a crystal stair for the man and when he finally tries to connect the dots realizes he cooked his own problems. This is the point Michael Hamooya had reached. He had the slightest idea that two weeks after his daughter’s birthday, he would be standing before a judge slapped with another corruption Charge. He now strongly believed everything would be different now had he only stuck by Claire.

He had now realized there was no more hope for his release. He realized he had been played. A deal gone wrong had landed him in this mess and his former organization was not letting him get away that easily. This case needed not be adjourned, the judge proved him guilty again.

This moment sung with so much sorrow that for once Gary put aside his hatred for his father as his eyes watered. Grandma Mary was in tears too as she held Claire tightly. Peter remembered the days that followed his mother’s passing, he could never get used to losing parents. For a moment, the court room felt much like a grave yard to them all. They felt like they were saying good bye to Michael forever.

                               BACK AT GRANDMA MARY’S HOUSE

Devoid of the appetite to eat, the grandmother and her grand children sat in the living room. They talked about their favorite moments with Mike while Gary was quiet for the most part of it.

“I know you have heard so many stories about your Father from other people, but there is a lot of things you do not know about my son”, Grandma Mary suddenly Said

She told them how Mike was actually her favorite child. She told them how he was the only one who proved responsible in supporting the extended family and how much he loved their mother.

“I don’t think he loved mum, if he really did, he couldn’t be away when she needed him the most”, Gary quickly shot in indignation.

“Gary, your father can never rewrite his wrongs, but you know he has learned enough lessons, you also have learned something from this and it should make you a better man in future, by not making your father’s mistakes” Mary said patiently.

“I think we should pray for dad, Grandma” Peter said after listening to Grandma and Gary for a while.

“Indeed Peter”, she smiled at him.

Grandma Mary always smiled to make her grand children feel better, but deep down she knew she that she was cracking down. She wondered if her grand children would be well taken care of once she died. She worried and she really did about little Claire. They had grown so fond of each other over the years. She had no answers to her worries so she simply put them in prayers.

“Dear Lord, we come to you”, she began to pray.

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A FAMILY HUSTLE: THE SECOND GENERATION (E2)

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EPISODE TWO (FEBRUARY)
On her ninth birthday, Claire had wished her dad could be present on her tenth. She had grown so fond of him. A father daughter relationship that grew stronger during the prison visits. She saw him past the court’s conviction. She saw her father and She loved him.

It was as though her grandma had been in her mind, eavesdropping, because she had been working in line with Claire’s wish. She had been arranging for Mike to attend his little girl’s party.

The funny thing of it all was it seemed Mike was the first rich man justice had happened to. Initially, his lawyers thought they could pull it off, but when more than three quarters of his property had been seized by the state, they knew a politically motivated case was far from being won.

Peter and Gary, the oldest of the three had come through from Chingola and Kitwe respectively. Every one little Claire loved was here except her dad and of course her beloved mother her eyes had never set on.

“Now put on that smile birthday girl. Who frowns on their day? ”, her grandma Mary said, knowing the little girl just wanted to see her father.
Mike should have been here at 2pm, but it was now a quarter past 3. She cursed them so hard in her heart, but then instantly remembered Pastor Ben’s Patience is holy sermon.

It was almost 4 when Mike showed up at the gate with two casually dressed cops beside him. The cops had insisted to attend the party as part of the arrangement-a party of a little girl they barely knew. Anything for the love of food could be anyone’s guess. However, Mary could care less, her son was home.
“Daddy”, little Claire screamed while running with open arms to her father.

“Hello Princess, nice party you have going on here, come here, I got you something”, Mike smiled.

“Missed you dad”, Peter embraced his dad.

“Wow, you grow bigger every time I see you, I wonder what kind of food your aunt is feeding you on the copper belt”  Mike said with a chuckle then suddenly with a worried face added , “Where is your older brother?”

As though programmed, they turned to look at Gary in unison who in turn looked back at his father with a furious face and walked away.

“Come here princess, let me show you something” he smiled at Claire

He gave her his wife’s silver necklace.
“This is for you princess, your mother would be so proud of you, Happy birthday, Daddy loves you”

As she ran to her friends to show off her new gift, Mike wished his wife was here, he wished everything was normal. His heart burned, but he wasn’t going to let melancholy prevail, today was his little girl’s day.

The party had been going well so far, except of course the funny questions and stares some of his relatives tossed him and a growing fear that his son may have been turned against him by his wife’s sister. He had also noticed another thing wrong with Gary; he had a scar on his lower lip as though it was sliced by a knife. He knew his son had been fighting and possibly drinking. He never thought Lusaka would look this different.

“Okay, everyone gather around”, shouted Grandma Mary

This time Claire wished her dad would be released as she blew over her cake.

“She keeps transforming into her mother by the years”, grandma Mary said as she and Max watched her

“It’s magical”, he said with a smile. “Listen mum, I am very grateful for what you have been doing for my daughter, I..”

“Son, they told me they may be releasing you in a year and a half depending on the Judge’s decision and I want you to come and be there for your children. I am dying, Michael. This cancer doesn’t seem to leave. I am good for a year plus according to the doctor, but I may go. I want you to inherit my house and build a home again with your children|”

“But,.. but,, why did you not tell me all this time mum? Why?”, he said with watery eyes.

“You have enough problems as it is, Michael so I want you to be strong. Gary has been a problem. Esther told me he has joined the Jerahbos. He’s barely 16 and it will be you to shape him when you get released. You have more problems than to worry about me.”

Michael had never felt this vulnerable. His mother was dying, his son was a mess, and he was still in prison. Maybe melancholy would prevail after all. He wished his day would not have to end this way as the cops drove him back to the prison.
TBC