#HowToKeepAZambianMan

Being a tweep for over four years, I think Zambian people have come to realise the beauty of twitter because for the first time in Zambian twitter history, people and I mean many people are finally enjoying the use of hashtags to talk about topics relating to the country (Insaka excluded) while having fan and coming up with solutions. Last time, the other topic that trended heavily in Zambia was #Bandunka. Unfortunately, it took me a while to know what dunka was and consequently, I couldn’t contribute much to the topic. So last night, I went to twitter (like every other night) this time to compile some interesting things you guys had to say about how to keep a Zambian man. Have no worries, you will go anonymous on my blog but if you see what you wrote, just say ‘I’ in your heart :). Here are some of the tweets worth noting.

                                                           #HowToKeepAZambianMan

  • • Commit him to the Lord in prayer
    • Don’t cook your skin, cook his food
    • Be the president’s daughter
    • Let him chill with the guys
    • Tell him you are leaving him
    • Don’t mention your spiritual husband ever
    • Don’t entertain every guy who likes you! You are taken act like it! They like their territory untouched
    • Tell him he looks like Chris Brown
    • Don’t be in the club every weekend
    • Never be known by every door bouncer at every club in LSK
    • Never ask him to watch Telemundo with you. Never!
    • Cook and dance *you know where* better than him
    • Let him have female best friends
    • Learn how to rock mukule so that he doesn’t worry about weaves
    • Respect his fifa time
    • Don’t just rely on missionary, learn new moves and positions. Memorise Kamasutra if need be
    • Be supportive and encouraging him even when times are hard
    • Make more money than him
    • Be a supporter, a woman that will raise a home and children. Not a chakolwa every weekend uli pa east point/Nipa club.
    • Don’t ask him where he was when he leaves on a Friday and comes back on a Sunday.
    • Don’t call him to ask what time he’s coming home when he is out with friends
    • Give him sex three to four times a day
    • Your friends shouldn’t have his number, do not tell them all the nice things he does. Zambian chicks are fast
    • Don’t be a Nipa girl
    • Know the difference between face painting and applying make up
    • Don’t say that style makes you feel like vomiting. Just give it to him.
    • Always remember you are Zambian, not Brazilian
    • Keep your eye brows
    • Give him space. Everyone needs it. You are not an appendage!
    • Have a plan for life
    • Accept that he will look at other girls. Being with you hasn’t made him blind
    • Don’t be a ZONE FAM GROUPIE
    • When he invites you for a drink, don’t come with Malita ,Shaquinta, Mutale ,Mulenga Martha, etc. unless he asked you to
    • Don’t ask him to stop drinking #alcohol
    • Don’t look like the joker after make up
    • You support his team. No questions, don’t argue. He will buy you a jersey and you will wear it with honour.
    • Don’t tell him to do house chores they are meant for him. #nogender
    • Be Esther or Catherine Phiri
    • Go Solange Knowles on him once a month

    From this you can tell how much fun people had. This is not an ultimate blueprint because as you can see, some tweeps chose to be hilarious. How you keep your man is up to you. You may take all the sensible advice from here, practice it and still be left. Only God can help you keep your man. A man should not leave you because you can’t do for him that which is awkward for you, he should be lucid or understanding. If you do not like something, you will voice out.
    To view more of these tweets, search for the hashtag, #HowToKeepAZambianMan on twitter and don’t forget to follow me on twitter @aqui_cuteboi_ Have a great weekend!!!!! 😉

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