FIKAPWA!!!

Image courtesy of tonyatko.com

Almost anyone can easily testify that they are yet to encounter an individual whose primary aspiration is not to be happy. There is a constant battle in everyone’s life to always be in a space of comfort. In whatever pool our efforts dive into, we hope that eventually we attain satisfaction. There is not one person who wants to stay under the foot of pain. Each and everyday we yearn for it, we try to work towards it, we imagine it, we fight for it, we pray for happiness.

There are so many ways in which we attain happiness and there are multiple things that bring it. These things vary from individual to individual, but one real intersection in myriads of human sets we can all agree on is the desire to find a person who will always be there no matter how easy it might get to leave you.

Love is an immensely powerful, beautiful and attractive force. Several people want to experience it or ensure its longevity- depending on the case. In our contemporary society, relationships have become a significant portion of the trends. Social media houses so many beautiful photos of couples which are usually accompanied by comments from the “God when officials”- a clear indication that the desire mentioned above is indeed a reality.

However, despite how much people desire them, relationships today struggle with longevity. The rate at which relationships are dying in this time and age is so overwhelming. There is an escalation in divorce cases. In Zambia, over 20, 000 marriages were dissolved last year. You don’t have to be nosy to note that the beautiful couple you knew that seemed so in love split. These occurrences imply that in as much as the ”Fikapwa” (it will end) trend is humorous, it does speak to the status quo.

So why are relationships ending today? Why are marriages failing? In establishing why, we would probably have to take a multi-dimensional approach. However we could still look at some simple, but eminent factors. I met a man at a workshop in Luanshya who told me that several people that are getting married today are definitely not ready for it. This reminds me of a tweet I saw the other day which said “some people are ready for the wedding day, but they are not ready for marriage. This is just the same case for a lot other relationships. You can get the girl, but can you keep her?

Today we initiate relationships for the wrong reasons. Some want the wedding more than the person, they want the status more than the commitment, they are in love with the idea of love more than understanding what it means to love someone. Further, others make decisions based on lust and many of us based on looks. Some are bound by the chains of societal pressure that force them to believe that at a particular point in their life a particular ‘milestone’ has to be attained. The point is that the fundamentals of pursuing a relationship have been neglected.

To be in a relationship requires a substantial level of discipline, wisdom and strength. You have to understand that the path you will take is a complex one and you will have to weigh how ready you are. When you are convinced you are ready, you go for it. If you decide to make a decision with no clear thought, your decisions will come back to haunt you sooner or later or in rare cases, you could get lucky. You cannot decide to be in a relationship just so you can also post cute pictures. The ‘baecation’ pictures will be beautiful of course, but what good are they if the subjects are a dysfunctional couple? Most importantly, you cannot decide to be in a relationship when you have not even learnt to love yourself.

The expiration date of many relationships today is always near approaching because of lack of preparation. People are not prepared to communicate their true feelings, they are not prepared to befriend the demons they discover live in their partner, they are not prepared to be content with who they chose and they are not prepared to keep the always and forever promises they made initially.

In addressing some of these issues, as cold as it sounds, we must begin to critically think before we make the step to be with anyone. Are they who I really need to be with? Are they good for my mental health? Do we have the same agenda? Do they push me to be better than I was? What value will they bring to my life? Always remember that it is always about you, it is always about your happiness. Your years should not be given to senseless relationships which are retrogressive. While you ask these questions also ensure that you are in a position to reciprocate because it is never humane to ask for what you cannot give.

Seek God for guidance in everything because at the end of the day, no matter how many right steps you may take, your relationship will definitely hang by the thread at some point and only God will see you through. Do not easily conform to the standards social media or society presents as the way to do things. Do not rush for anything and remember it is simply not the end of the world if you aren’t with somebody.

Be more cautious or FIKAPWA!!! 😅

I’m going to call her Peace

She held in her arms the most precious thing she had ever beheld and instantly felt an involuntary transmission of fullness and warm fuzzies transpire within her. Her mouth neatly folded into a smile as her eyes sent a copious amount of tears down her face. She had no idea of her capability to feel this much, but she had an idea that her life had just changed forever. She looked up into the ceiling for a moment and smiled.

“Peace! I’m going to call her Peace.” Keisha said in her mind.

She was in incredible elation that had quickly absorbed the memories of the pain she felt a few moments ago. She was the only one responsible in a situation she had never asked for, but she remained indifferent to the status quo and had decided to be proactive and overcome her struggle. What was, was and she had realized she could do nothing about it except to pick herself up and live.

She felt a sense of peace. She felt alive, she knew love in a more refined way- to meet a new person and have them in your heart instantly. The past few months were a dark cloud. It had been a real struggle.

A number of months ago….

The weather that afternoon was horrendous. Sweat dripped off people’s bodies as though tiny water falls had been planted on them. Perhaps it was time for humanity to pay for neglecting the environment. It was a fitting rehearsal for anyone going to hell. On a typical afternoon like this one, you really had to be cautious with how you approached people or you would be greeted by their ticking time bombs.

Fortunately for everyone, the local supermarket, 24/7 remained convenient. They lived up to their name and on such a day they could certainly come to your rescue. You could always get a cold bottle of water, ice cream, a cold beer, a cold drink or a smoothie. After a long day at school, Keisha was here for the latter.

“Here for the regular?” she heard a familiar voice say.

“Uncle Ash” she exclaimed as she turned around while beaming. “You bet.”

“Knock yourself out”

She always enjoyed the customer service whenever she was here. This was the only business place one could feel like family. As she was leaving the store, she suddenly grew a dull countenance, she had just seen Raymond. He had seen her see him and had started towards her.

“How many times will I tell you I am not interested?” she shot as he now stood within her proximity.

“Good afternoon.” He replied with a big smile that revealed his nice white teeth.

“Well you and the heat just sucked out everything good about the afternoon, now kindly excuse me” she said and started to walk away.

“I know Keisha, its getting a little too much and I am sorry, but you just drive me crazy. I think about you all the time.” he chased after her.

“I don’t care, that’s your problem” she retorted “It is too hot, do you not have places to be except make a woman’s life miserable with your presence?”

His big smile returned like she had said something nice to him “Listen, please lets hang out just once this weekend and if you do not like it, I promise to never bother you again” he pleaded with her.

She stopped for a minute and took a sip from her smoothie. “Fine, this weekend and that’s it, Raymond .” she said

“Thank you.” he said in disbelief.

If only Keisha got a dollar for every time Raymond made his advances, she would probably buy the Iphone 11. She was in the least impressed by his persistence and she was truly determined to send his advances to the grave by accepting to hang out with him so he could bother her no more, but perhaps she should have realized saying no was enough. At nineteen she had never had a boyfriend and was no stranger to the proverbial societal comment of  “how are you this pretty and single?” She was fired to end Raymond’s advances this weekend, but what she did not realize was that her life was about to change forever.

When that weekend came, it was a master of irony. It started out so well. Raymond was a real gentle man and he made her feel so comfortable and special. He had picked her up and had brought her some flowers.

They went to the local pub and grill for some food. She enjoyed the greek olive burger a little more than anyone else, but what she never expected to enjoy too was the conversation with Ray. He was an expert at conversing with people so much so that she had opened up in a short time.

“I like Whitney Houston as much as the next guy, but Aretha Franklin is the greatest female musician of all time” Ray argued

“Fair enough, but you cannot leave Tina Turner out of the equation” she retorted

They had talked about everything, debated a few points and laughed about a number of things. It was so strange how she easily related with someone she had loathed the past few months. Everything occurred so smoothly. She was enjoying it all. “Perhaps, I should have been less mean to him” she thought.

“Listen, Keisha.” Ray suddenly said in a serious tone. “I have liked you for as long as I have known, and I am really sorry for all the bother I cost you, but I just wanted a chance to get to know you and I want to confess that this is the best day of my life, so thank you”

Her eyes lit up. She couldn’t use her voice in the moment. After what seemed like a minute she said “I honestly do not know what to say”

“You do not have to say anything, I just wanted to let you know” he said softly and smiled at her. “Now off we go”

They decided to end their day with  a stroll in the park. Her hand in his, his in her’s. She had no experience of this, but this was something she had seen in movies and was happy to see. He smelled so nice and she appreciated his sense of responsibility and his ability to  plan.

“I just want to say I am so sorry for being mean to you before” she said

“Do not ruin the moment” he joked and put his arm around her shoulders.

Suddenly three boys about Ray’s age stood in their way.

“Is this your girl?” the first boy asked Ray

“So you can’t respond because you are with your hoe?” the second one said in a mocking way

Like a flash of lightening Ray released what seemed like an involuntary punch to the second boy’s mouth sending two of incisors flying out. At the sight of this, the other two boys jumped on Ray and beat him until he seemed unconscious.He lay in a pool of blood. Keisha had been screaming the whole time, but no one seemed to come to their rescue let alone heard her cries. The boys shifted their attention to her. She too was left in blood, not that she was beaten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A BEAUTIFUL TRAGEDY (PART TWO)

 

The following night was nothing short of excitement. Everyone at Club Quila glowed with high spirits. The local football club had just won the league and everyone was there to celebrate. The elation in the building was unbelievable and furthermore world renowned DJ Jake was in town. He wickedly handled the music while sending legs, waists, bottoms and hands in the most spectacular and unimaginable directions. The patrons were vividly possessed by the DJ. The house was on fire that could terminate Thanos.

However, Mike was indifferent to the status quo. He was on a mission, a mission entirely based on faith. What if she didn’t show up? What if she didn’t show up ever? What if she actually did? His heart raced at the thoughts. He was, however, comforted by the presence of his friends who he had brought with him in case things went south. The pictures of the dark bearded built were still fresh in his mind and his friends, well his friends never presented him a dull moment.

The waitress walked up to their table. His friend, Leo was already flirting with her. Leo was famous for this kind of thing. He was a natural at the game. Mike and his friends were regulars at club Quila. No sooner had the waitress left their table than their table was flooded with bottles. Mike simultaneously took his first sip of Heniken and begun to scan the area for possible traces of his target, but with no warning some one obstructed his view.

He looked up and it was none other than Silvia. Silvia was as pretty as they came. She had a beautiful smile, that could subliminally glue your eyes to her face. They had hooked up a few weeks ago, but Mike had not been returning any of her calls after. His other friend, Jack had called him a douche bag.

“Why are girls always choosing the wrong guys? Why won’t they choose me? ” , Jack had jokingly complained.

Silvia quickly moved to sit next to Mike and further planted a kiss on his cheeks.

“I miss you”, she said

“I miss you too”, he lied.

Mike concealed his agitation because it was in this very moment that he needed no distraction that he had spotted Tracy. He had to find a way to escape Silvia. Silvia was becoming too comfortable with him and unnecessarily clingy. Tracy should not have to see him in this state. All his friends became aware of the situation, the mission was getting jeopardised. Mike was thinking hard.

After 5 minutes the waitress reappeared at their table.

“Mike, the manager would like to see you” she said.

“Guys we have to meet Phill at Chicago’s now, Mike, you will catch us later, Silvia come with us” , Leo suddenly spoke after her.

Mike left the table while everyone else started off for Chicago’s. He waited a few minutes to make sure they had all left. Then he came back into the club. He knew exactly where to find her. There she was. He froze for a minute at her beauty. She was the true epitome of
enchantment. He smelt the mystery and sweet danger, but he was ready to risk it all. He had met myriads of them, but to him this one was the 8th wonders of the world. She was even more beautiful than she was last night.

“Hello” , he said.

“I’m sorry have we met? ” she replied with a straight face.

He looked shocked.

“I’m just pulling your leg. Where have you hid your girlfriend?” she laughed

She was perfect in every way. Her smile accelerated her perfection. He swallowed the moment with satisfaction.

“So you have been stalking me all this time”, he replied

“I’m not that crazy” she chuckled.

“Do you want to get out of here?” He asked.

“Alright” she shrugged

 

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Thanks for reading. You can find part one here

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My thoughts on Present Day Relationships

I think it’s really been hard for me to keep up with posting blogs this year,(school is rough)that is why I made sure to drop a series of a Family Hustle every month. I have noticed that it has been like two years since I last did a post in relation to relationships, dating, love or anything in those lines. I usually shun away from such topics because I really do not want to come out as a connoisseur given the questions people ask me after.

So I am on a bus on my way to apply for my visa extension and I am just done working on an excel project so why not write something on the topic? Let’s talk relationships.

First of all I would like us all to realize how much social media has had an influence on our lives. The way we view things usually depends on what your timeline presents you with. What pictures do you see when you open your Instagram? What videos do you see on Facebook? There is one or two posts that will eventually influence how you view relationships.

Eventually you have what is famously called ‘relationship goals’ based on the video or picture you saw. There is nothing wrong with being inspired. Inspiration helps us to achieve great things. Unfortunately, great things do not come overnight. People want the good life, but are unwilling to work for those things.

Personally, I am inspired by Barack Obama, every time I see him with Michelle, I am like “one day”. Recently, I have been inspired by the Curries. I see a man who takes seriously what he does and is blessed to be good at it. A man I believe has to be hard working. I mean how else the hell will he be able to provide? I do not think ladies want to see men based on how handsome they are. Your networth defines how handsome you are these days. Which is both good and bad. Bad because gold diggers have grown even larger cannines in our generation , good that at least you can compensate on your not being good looking. *laughs*

One of the hardest things I have come to learn and accept is you can not always be lucky or blessed enough to get the exact person you want. I mean ladies you may never really find a dude that exactly matches your standards. You may meet a work in progress; an alcoholic, a visionless person or even a broke guy. Guys you may meet a girl that’s doesn’t match your beauty standards, lazy, not focussed in life, irresponsible and all over the place.

Life has taught me that at times you have to see beauty behind the madness, potential behind the pettiness. It is however not easy to just invest your time trying to change someone especially when they are so obstinate. I mean just like buying shares this is risky business.

One other thing I have noticed about our generation is our impatience and lack of preparation for the future. I don’t have to live in generations back to realise that there has never been a generation where people have wasted each other’s time more than this one. We initiate relationships knowing deep down that we don’t have any future plans for the other person. But because they are beautiful, we want to sleep with them and because they are rich you want them to ‘spoil’ you. We may as well just begin to sign contracts stipulating our intentions and expiration dates.

The other funny thing is that guys don’t want to go after the good girls and girls don’t want to go after vision filled guys who are viewed as boring . It’s just the law of magnetism here, unlike poles attract. Instead here the poles are not north and south, but bad and good. You know the guy is not good for you deep down, but you still stick to them. You know the girl likes you for what you can do for her , but you can’t let go. In the pursuit to have someone commit, you can only take so much disappointment. Eventually you have to let go and that shouldn’t take you years unless you enjoy being a slave. As I said earlier, it is risky business.

If you really want to your relationship to survive and flourish , you will have to put God at the centre. Instead of going to the club and on meaningless dates why can’t you go to church together, pray together? We have no control over love because tomorrow we may love someone else. There is a need to ask the One who is love to help us sustain our love for our partner. Sometimes we find being religious to be boring, I mean I do too, but there is no denying that only God can pull us through the rough edges.

We should learn to build relationships with the hope to build a future with our partner. A future that gives us everything we have ever dreamed of: beautiful children, grand mansions, cars and whatever things youths of today attach so much importance to.

All you need to be is patient. Of course you may take a short cut, but there are no short cuts without conseqences in this life. Nothing is free. Your ‘blesser’ may buy you a car, but you will pay him back with your dignity. Nothing defines a woman more than her dignity. Self worth is highly important.

A woman deserves to be with a man that recognises that she is priceless and that buying her jewelery is not what will wipe off her tears caused by his cheating.

Women should learn to be patient too. Your man may not give you everything you need (materially) today, but if he is trying to build himself, be there to back him, encourage him and pray for him.

It is more honourable to be the woman behind a man’s success than a woman who was bought with that man’s success.

Anyway, what do I know? 😝I think I have spoken enough, but still do reflect on the things that I have had to say. Have a great week ahead and God bless.

VALENTINES DAY

You realise this is my first post this year YEAH? Say this blog was my girl. I was too busy for it, kinda neglected it the past month. If my posting consistently is my expression of my love for it, you will probably say I failed it. But tomorrow is the 14th so “hey baby, I’m back”. You wanna mock that? Go ahead. You might as well remember to taunt the myriads of ‘romantic’ people in who turned Valentine’s Day into the hugest fuss of the year, like love is seasonal or something.

Valentine’s Day was better off without any romantic attachment to it. I wonder what Father Valentine would think of it now. Do I seem negative? First of all, respect and praise to everyone that is consistent and committed to their BAE, but, Shame upon all those who think consistency and true expression of love only exists on the 14, and after that the curve sinks low. Like I always say, if someone truly loves you, every day is Valentine’s Day, including your fights, they simply make your bond more robust. They are worth it, unless you are dealing with insecurities.

I think it is really ludicrous to not think of making a paradise every day, but this day. You last bought her flowers 5 months ago, your last date was the same way, but valentine’s oh Valentine’s day, you just gotta make it work. You last cooked his special treat centuries ago, but tomorrow, whoo you just wanna do it. Why? Because everyone else is doing it and you want  to show off just how ‘functional’ you are? Anyway, you are better off than those who never try, but they are being real about it though.

I met a new friend last week, her birthday falls on the 14th. Don’t think I’m dumb 🙂 I did check her NRC. BAZINGA!!!! Well, whether she lied or not, I am still getting her a gift, I would still do this, had her birthday fallen on any other day. I believe in making people happy and elating them and I don’t even expect anything in return. (I am afraid of unrequited love though, for real though)

So to me Valentines is about putting a smile on people’s faces whenever you have the opportunity and that opportunity is never restricted to the 14th.

Some Crazy meme reads “Valentine’s day is around the corner, so if you are secretly in love with me, now would be the time to speak up”.
Like really? Is this the only day you think you deserve to feel special? (Do you sense the fuss now?) I hope all that admit they do are not quite your type. Lol .

If I really like someone, I will not till valentine’s day, I will let you know (if you not much of a trip that is 🙂 ). Why wait for FEB next year giving room to a confident Jerk to steal who you may never know might turn out to be mind blowing and enterprising? Do you guys really get the gist? By the way, shout out to whoever is hoping to escape the mighty FRIEND ZONE tomorrow, good luck with that. If you believe the 14th is magical, in the words of Michael Sata, “I’m sorry” 😀
I also can’t wait to see people dressed in red. lol Especially that man from Lusaka, red suite, red shirt red tie, red shoes,red umbrella and red plastic carrier bags lol Could this get any crazier?

Valentines day is beautiful though, at least we get to see that the world isn’t as cold as the stories from the news, that traces of love do exist, but please don’t make a fuss. Enjoy tomorrow everyone and keep loving. Love conquers all,remembering John 3:16 is the ultimate blueprint.
I will end this on a light note “Blessed are the boys who date seventh day girls for they shall be at church the all day on Valentine’s day and will only get to see them on sunday.” Lol

Love is the flower that is never out of season.

 

THE FACEBOOK LOVE STORY: NEW BEGININGS

In retrospect, not only did that catastrophe leave her devastated, it had also produced a strong woman in Jennifer. She was only 22, but her résumé left her over qualified for a sufferer. Five years ago is as fresh as a wound inflicted by the canine of a lion. Maxwell may have died, but she sees him each time she looks at her little boy. She can then afford a smile.

So many things have happened ever since the unfortunate incident. Oceans had poured out of her eyes. It was never healthy for an expectant woman. The worst months of her life she may have called them. She could talk to herself. The strange part was she had seen no one from Max’s family show up. Not even his parents.

“Maxwell, Oh my dear Maxwell. Why did you have to leave me? You promised me of a future together. You swore never to leave me. I wish our son could take a look at you. Who will ever teach him to be a real man like you were?” She could lament endlessly.

Her hallucinations were her refuge. If only RIP meant return if possible.

As soon as she had conceived, she had embarked on a mission to complete school. Her friends were talking university now, some could mock her. She never imagined completing school a year later. She imagined how different things would have been if she had never signed up for Facebook. Yet again, she could not have met Max; in that way it was worth it. However, complete school she did and now in university pursuing Public Administration. She is really a tough cookie. Most people never get up to their feet.

Her therapist had suggested that the best way to heal was to share her story, specifically through writing. She knew this could be easy as her journal could easily be her first draft.

She had decided to tell her story and plan to her philosophy lecturer who had seemed both touched and supportive. His name was Mr Zulu, but insisted Jenifer call him Paul. Paul was a young man in his early thirties. He was nice, understanding and kind ever since she moved into campus. She was confident he would help her out. He had agreed to help her publish her book and also for her to ask him if she needed anything just during her stay in campus.

Paul and Jennifer grew so close at times it was impossible to hide this during lectures. Her mates could tease her about how she liked Paul. Paul was not married at all. Jennifer could see Paul was so attracted to her. She thought she was blessed for always meeting good men. Actually, her little boy’s 5th birthday party was actually all on him. She did like Paul, but not enough to be with him. She always thought she would betray Max had she gone out with another dude. Even after 5 years, she was not over her first love.

Fast forward: Two years later

Now in their final year, Mary her friend had noticed this relationship had never progressed. Jenny was clearly lucky to have a guy like Paul around her. Why would she not give him a chance? Mary always wondered.

“So I know it’s none of my beeswax, but I can’t help but notice you kinda are avoiding Paul in some way. Listen Jenny, you should consider yourself a very lucky girl. After all that has occurred in your life, you are still blessed enough to have a good guy pursuing you. Why not give him a chance?” Mary asked.

Jennifer remained silent for a while.
“I appreciate your concerns Mary, but you don’t understand it is not that easy” Jenny said

“I know you still think about Max, but you have to move on. Max will never come back. Remember you are growing older. Before you know it, no more men will pursue you. I’m sure Max would be happy to know you found true love” Mary said softly

She stormed off to the bathroom.

“Max will never come back”. Those words from Mary’s speech hurt her so much. She still thought he would come back. In the bathroom, she shed rivers. “Max would be happy to know you found true love”. She kept thinking about Mary’s words. She eventually realised her friend was right, but she wasn’t totally convinced.

The next day, Paul informed her that the book was being printed in the US by his friend who had agreed to market her book globally because it was a huge story. She felt so elated. She couldn’t conceal her excitement. She hugged Max tightly and thanked him for everything he had done for her.

“Anytime” was all Paul said to her.
Paul had convinced her to re-activate her Facebook account as these were NEW BEGINNINGS. Everyone was glad to comment welcome back when she made her first post. She felt so happy after a long time. She knew she owe her happiness to Paul, he had been through it all with her. Maybe it was time to give him a chance.

She was to graduate in two months and the pressure from her peers coercing her to date Paul was increasing by the day.

“You know what, just give Paul to me if you do not want him. There is no way you can overlook such a handsome, educated and wealthy man after you”, another of her friends joked around.

All her friends laughed, including Jennifer.

Maybe it was time. Maybe she could ask him out herself because the only reason she thought he never did (officially) was because he was shy. Anyway, lucky for him, his actions had spoken myriads for him.

So she invited him for dinner the next week. Good thing her roommate had gone home for the weekend and so she had the room to herself. They talked for a long time and later watched a movie. It was so romantic; she had never imagined any of this to happen to her after losing Max. She hoped she hadn’t betrayed him, she hoped he could understand.

Later on, he thanked her for the nicely cooked dinner and the time well spent and was about to leave. They embraced, but never to both let go. She kissed him on his lips and he responded quite well. Her chest against his, this thing was leading to another. She started to help him shed off his jacket. She had only done it once her whole life, but she was in such control. She realised this part of her being had been left unattended to for a long time and all her feelings and cravings came rushing back at her. They began to overpower her.

Like a flash of lightening or maybe suddenly, Paul pulled away quickly and held back his jacket to restore it to its previous position.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t do this. I have to leave. Please have a goodnight” He said awkwardly with no eye contact.

Jennifer was left in shock. How and why could he resist her? Had she began getting old like Mary once said? No she was still perfect. She had a banging body. No one could have ever guessed she was a mother. Why did Paul act that way? Was he gay? She was in complete perturbation.

The next day when she saw him, never had she imagined having an awkward moment with Paul. He said “hi” frantically and walked away. She wanted to apologise for instigating that act the previous night. Their relationship took a very crazy shift until two months later on her graduation day. She could never have guessed this even if she had hope.

She was glad to have graduated with a merit, and was asked to give a speech to inspire everyone that whatever they went through, they could still stand on their feet and be stable again. Her speech was so touching and everyone wanted to shake her hand after.

She couldn’t believe what she saw next. She beheld a familiar face. She had imagined this, but she had never really believed it. Was this day playing tricks on her mind? Her mother held her firmly and told her to be strong.
She saw a man she had known a while back and who in his hands held her son. Was her hallucination back? She saw Paul standing next to him. He smiled at her. She stood frozen like a statue.

“Maxwell Hernandez is that you? She asked in a soft voice.

She had a very huge expression of shock on her face.

“In the flesh”, he smiled her.

She was so overcome by shock, she passed out. When she awakened, she was in Maxwell’s arms.

“I know you think I died, but I have a lot to tell you” he said.

So Maxwell on the day of the car crush had dropped into a comma. His mother was quickly alerted of the situation and had found a way to instruct the doctor that her son had died in the eyes of the girl and her family. The following week, Max was moved to the UK were he could receive treatment. Max’s mum was a snob. She never wanted Max to marry low and when she had heard (from her spies) that her son was seeing a girl of not quite her ideal class, she was in such indignation.

The car crush was a plus to her. She had to ‘save’ her son from what she thought was a curse of bonding with people that lacked a social status. Apparently, she had suggested he marry the governor’s daughter, but clearly he went against her plans.
Paul was smart enough to solve this puzzle. After Maxwell had helped him complete his education, he had always believed to have owe Max one. When he realised Jennifer fitted the description of Max’s girl he had vowed to take care of her until such a time he could help the two reunite. The time was finally here. He had told Max about this and they both agreed the best day for the reunion was her graduation day.

Jennifer was so overwhelmed she couldn’t believe this, but was overjoyed to look Max in his eyes again. Her son’s father was back.It was like the demised love of her life had heard her cries and decided to resurrect. She now understood why Paul had always acted the way he did. He definitely was their son’s god father and the best man on their wedding the following month. Her book was a best seller. Could things be any better?

Let’s just say they lived happily ever after.

THE FACEBOOK LOVE STORY

Facebook helps you connect….. Why could she?… finish reading that welcome message? She was finally here; she simply wanted to be a part of the most popular topic in class. She just wanted to sign up for Facebook. What she never pictured was she didn’t actually sign up for Facebook, she had signed up for an escapade she would never ever live to forget, but that was 5 years ago.

Upload a profile picture. She was so ready for this step for she had already taken a photo we now call a selfie-thanks to her 3.2 mega pixels Nokia 8900. So that’s how Facebook added a new user, Jennifer ‘Cute Girl’ Phiri.

At least 5 friend requests daily every week make her feel so excited, the excitement is unbearable. Yes, Guys are always after her in real time, but this online attention is so special, it is so tempting. She feels like the only girl sought after in the world. “Hello Beautiful”, “Hi my love”, “Hey I just wanted to say you have a beautiful profile photo” and then came the freaks, “Hey sexy, I want to……hmm the comments and likes on her photos. At first most of the guys could get replies to their messages, but now there are just too many to reply to and oh freaks got no replies by the way.

After two months, Maxwell Hernandez was the only guy that came close to her expectations. Ever since he acquired her line, he had incessantly called her ‘appropriately’. She viewed him as a sweet guy, he only knew how he really viewed her. According to Max, he had just graduated from university and was working for a construction firm as a managing supervisor. In her last grade, Jennifer had scored a hat trick.

Now all that left was their official meeting and the D-day did come. Max was working in her town for the weekend and as a ‘gentleman’ could afford some time off with her. She shyly agreed, but remained overpowered by arousal and anxiety. She thought about the steamy episodes they had on phone, the texting. What if he was a murderer? Well then, he must be a special one, one who sparks her emotions to life, her longings, cravings and desires (of every kind-all at once) into existence. Would she be willing to do it for the first time if all got out of hand? What if this, what if that? These questions were literally rhetorical in her mind’s play-field and she was well aware of that, but like Katy Perry, it’s no big deal, it’s no big deal, Max was finally here. It’s like she had known him forever.

Max did no discredit to Jennifer at all, he actually looked better and attractive than the man he was in the photos they shared. She concealed her excitement, well at least for now. She didn’t want to get sold out, because Max on the other hand seemed ready to buy, and buy heavily he would. He was quite the gentleman though. Usually, in a maintained status quo, the first thing most guys want to do is embrace the girl, but Max, Max on the other hand, kissed her hand softly like he had met a princess.

“I’m Max, it is an honour to finally meet such a beauty”, he said slowly in such a composed and most romantic matter while stretching from the bow.
He was so tall and well built. She now hoped he could hug her next, but this was Max,a guy whose actions spoke for his being different from every other guy. Jennifer just couldn’t believe how lucky she was. She felt lucky before he even asked her out. <— That is such a statement to draw a concrete inference from, on its own.

Max made her day simple, but so outstanding in so many ways. They conversed endlessly and he asked so many questions about her. You could see he wanted to know so much more about this girl. He was into her. After 4 hours, there was no difference between a minute and an hour. It was soon time to part and Jennifer was astonished to note there was no kiss planted on her lips, but her forehead. Later that night on the phone, he told her he respected her so much and would like to kiss her at the very right time. According to him, she was so honourable. At this point, Jennifer knew that he was the one, but she had still met him on Facebook. What did it matter anyway? Thanks Mark Zuckerberg?

Jennifer was always happy. She couldn’t let her friends know yet. She had no time for judgements, but she could take envy, admiration and jealousy anytime without giving half a damn. No one, but Max knew the answer to why her grades had improved. His appeal and charm wasn’t the only influence he had on her, he made it clear that her education and not he should be first at that point.

We could call them three months of acquaintanceship, Jennifer would call it three months in utopia. Last month on her birthday, Max could have had bought her any gift in the world, but because theirs was a clandestine relationship, a small gift was appropriate. On that day, she had also given to him her womanly prized possession. After giving it such a deep thought, she decided it was best she let Max deflower her.

Another meeting was scheduled during her second term holiday, less than a month after her birthday. She told her mum she was going out with her friends for a picnic and would be back later in the afternoon, but God knew Max had arranged to take her out of town. She found him waiting at their spot standing with his back against his BMW (i don’t know what version it was, but it was fancy) , one hand in the pocket, flowers in the other. If her dreams had never come true, her favourite romantic movie had.

“Ready for the road trip?” he asked with a smile.

“Always ready for any road trip that you’re the driver”, she smiled back to expose firstly her nice white teeth and the two neat holes God placed on both her cheeks.

“Come on then, let’s roll, let me drive you crazy”

Both laughed.

They sang along to speeding as Max did 200KMs per hour. Every other road user looked amazed as two lively souls sang on top of their voices like they were from a world outside. All was going well, all was as smooth as it could be. No one saw it coming, how would they, they were embedded in the moment. A truck was headed in their direction. It gradually approached them innocently as they did, but both at their best speed. No one could have imagined this, but a few meters away from them, this Volvo truck lost control. It left its lane and was about to hit the BMW, but Max quickly swerved away. At this point he was a hero, but he just avoided one obstacle only to hit into another on the other side. He hit right into the truck’s trailer which also seemed to hit into them.

Hours later, Jennifer woke up with blurred sight. She couldn’t recall what happened. With immense effort, she realised she was in a hospital. Her mother was looking over her. What in her world was happening? Shocked or confused couldn’t describe how she felt. She was about to switch off realty when she remembered Max.

“Max, Max, Maxwell” she screamed. The doctor on the other hand was familiar with this episode and came over to give her a sedative. After 3 weeks she came to swallow the hard truth that Max had died in the car crush. She couldn’t believe it. She felt so weak and nauseated and puke she did. How would something so beautiful suddenly turn into a nightmare? She could keep passing out, but denial is what kept her on. She never imagined this to be happening. In her mind, Max was immortal, he was there to complete her life,he was her partner. He was the love of her life. It isn’t how long you have been with someone that makes it real, it is the moments and the actions of love they extend to you. Max was one person who had showed her what love was in such a short time. He had never manipulated her as his position often demands in most men. He was older and more experienced than her, but never used this to his advantage. He was her brother, her best friend, her guide, her mentor, her boyfriend, but Max was now gone, He was dead. 😦 You don’t know what pain is.

Her parents couldn’t find the time to be mad at her, when they learnt that her non terminating puking was because she was almost two months pregnant. Jenifer’s father to her child had died. She couldn’t go back to school. She had so much to handle. She forgot a thing like Facebook ever existed. It was no longer her daily routine. Her mind always read, Maxwell and ‘their’ unborn baby. Who would take care of her unborn baby? How would she explain to her parents how she met Max? How would her friends ever believe her? She would one day have to explain to her child were the Father was. Would she have the strength? All these questions would have to be answered one day.

TO BE CONTINUED, WELL MAYBE 😦

7 requisites for a REAL relationship

Love is a game that two can play and both win-Eva Gabor

(1) LOVE:   Well if it’s not about love just do both yourselves a huge favour and save valuable time by splitting up. You watched LOVE COMES SOFTLY and thought “hey! It’s worth a try”, but I am saying, are you mature enough to patiently wait for love to set into your nest? You have been together for 6 months and no shades of love had appeared. A relationship devoid of love is the worst way to waste time. Love is the magnet between you two; it is the basis of your relationship. Without love, they will do whatever to hurt you without even giving it a second thought. Love is easier expressed in actions than speech. When a man loves his lady, he will do everything for her, open her car door, get her gifts, show her off and today’s people will say, “Oh dude’s whipped”. There is nothing wrong with being whipped to her if she really loves you.

(2) Communication: “hey Hun, thinking about you right now. I really miss you. Can’t wait to see your pretty face again <3. K later, Love you”. Ladies don’t you just love this? When we let you know we actually, care, love you and think you are pretty? Now imagine if the last time he sent such a text was a month ago? I can imagine some insecure, extreme girls going all crazy “so why don’t you text me no more? Who’s the h*e you been texting and not me? Tell her that when I see her I am gona tear her apart. I will cut off her arms and beat her up with them.” 😀 *rotfl*. Communication right? A marriage is doomed if communication is lacking. You see as you go on, the romance begins to wane. She doesn’t do everything she used to do for you; you are beginning to hate her hair do, her laughter irritates you. It is important to talk about such and the simplest things. It begins as a petty thing and once unpatched in good time, you will eventually desire another partner. So Talk about how you can spice things up. Don’t always do the same old boring stuff, be spontaneous and try out new things, just head in a different direction for a change. Always let your partners know you love and belong only to them, compliment them, never leave them in a position to become sceptical and insecure. Always be sorry and apologise when you are wrong. Always TALK.

(3)Trust: I always say “Trust and Rome have one thing in common: they were both not built in a day”, be sure to quote me some day yeah :). When you were a little kid and your dad asked you to jump from a tree (you couldn’t climb down from because you got scared, I wonder why you had to climb it up in the first place. lol #Kids) into his arms, you would most definitely do that. Why? Because you obviously trusted him. This is no different in your relationship. If he told you he was going on a business trip for a month, will you grow insecure wings? Get a one degree in GPS tracking? If you don’t trust him, you will go as far as booking a flight for the next day so you can go and ‘Check-up’ on him, but with trust, you will have nothing to worry about because you believe your man will be back in one piece with no stains of other women on him. I know they teach us never to trust anyone, but you will have to trust the person who owns your heart.

(4)Respect: If he doesn’t respect you, he will beat you, have side chicks and lie to you. If she doesn’t respect you she will stab you in the back too, date your ‘best friend’, despise you and… oh boy do I really need to stress enough? This is obvious; you know how the story goes. Respect is imperative.

(5)Loyalty: uhm Chris Brown will preach more on the absence of that, only this time it will apply both ways because in truth, some men ain’t loyal too. But be loyal to your own, people. A relationship is between two people, call the third a devil because he/she comes to kill, steal and destroy.

(6)Cooperation: You should learn to play on the same team. To achieve your goals, you will have to support each other. If you both can’t learn to listen to each other, you are in the Titanic. You have to acknowledge his/her views. You should be the best advisor they ever had. I personally appreciate women who are wise enough as to admonish him if he’s taking the wrong path. Just saying this because I am a guy, but it has to go both ways.

(7)God: This deserves to be number one because without God, there is no Love and any of the above listed. PSALMS 127:1 “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it .So let God build your relationship so it remains steady and sturdy. Always pray for one another and go to church together. No weapon formed by anyone will prosper against your relationship. Trust God.

TO THE SPECIAL LADY

I couldn’t believe in strength if I didn’t see you get up and walk again given the countless wounds your heart received.
You weren’t foolish, but full of hope every time you gave him another chance, or did falling too hard sell you out?
As tears pour down your beautiful face, you wonder why it’s got to be this way.
You invested too much only to get back so little.
Maybe loving too hard should be insured after all, or a sign should have read “CAUTION: DO NOT FALL FOR HIM, KEEP MOVING AHEAD”.

He who once whispered in your ear , “I Love you so much, I don’t ever wanna lose you”, left you for cold. He gets the award for acting distant, after all you gave him.
Why should the person holding your heart want to believe they are holding a ball to kick?
Is he blind not to see pain? Did he switch off his humanity…. Is he a vampire?
He seems more of your philosophy lecturer than your partner. The questions you’ve been asking of late really amaze me.
You may not have imagined this, but the day your efforts are in vain is finally here. The day you have to question your dignity dances in your face, because for once you doubt you are good enough for someone.
I still do not see you packing your bags. Is falling too hard a flaw?
But Inside you lives a quality greater than endurance, strength greater than strength itself, because after everything he put you through, you still hope for the best, you still love.
You told me love is beautiful, but in your state I almost thought you insane, but I realised you redefine love.
Because at times giving up is too easy, you choose not to let go. Love isn’t your weak spot, but actually your strength and there is nothing wrong with loving too much.
You are not the problem, he is.
It should be easy being superman, because superwoman here handles worse.
But please, indulge me; let me be your superman, because today I will rescue you. Today I will teach you to fly, today we are leaving.
Glad you can now finally sing enough is enough because you can say you are done in a million ways.
Maybe he needs time to grow up. Like someone told me, a weak man cannot know what to do with a strong woman.
Hey Wake up my sister, God did not create you to harbour pain, to be betrayed, or to be left alone to soak in that tormenting rain.
God want’s your beauty to glow, your love appreciated, and your joy to flow.
There should be a flaw in the system: Love unappreciated, beauty abandoned, pain inflicted is not what your type gets paid back with. I have a feeling you never waited enough upon the Lord.But don’t kick yourself; let me take you to a world that knows not the words: side or main.

Embrace the new warmth, welcome this new day. You have to heal, it may take some time, I know it feels like stepping on quick sand but it will be worth it eventually.
A princess like you belongs to only one prince and him alone to you. He patiently awaits you.
If the past ever haunts you, to it say “swerve” because the new day is too sweet to be ruined.
…To the special Lady.

#HowToKeepAZambianMan

Being a tweep for over four years, I think Zambian people have come to realise the beauty of twitter because for the first time in Zambian twitter history, people and I mean many people are finally enjoying the use of hashtags to talk about topics relating to the country (Insaka excluded) while having fan and coming up with solutions. Last time, the other topic that trended heavily in Zambia was #Bandunka. Unfortunately, it took me a while to know what dunka was and consequently, I couldn’t contribute much to the topic. So last night, I went to twitter (like every other night) this time to compile some interesting things you guys had to say about how to keep a Zambian man. Have no worries, you will go anonymous on my blog but if you see what you wrote, just say ‘I’ in your heart :). Here are some of the tweets worth noting.

                                                           #HowToKeepAZambianMan

• • Commit him to the Lord in prayer
  • Don’t cook your skin, cook his food
  • Be the president’s daughter
  • Let him chill with the guys
  • Tell him you are leaving him
  • Don’t mention your spiritual husband ever
  • Don’t entertain every guy who likes you! You are taken act like it! They like their territory untouched
  • Tell him he looks like Chris Brown
  • Don’t be in the club every weekend
  • Never be known by every door bouncer at every club in LSK
  • Never ask him to watch Telemundo with you. Never!
  • Cook and dance *you know where* better than him
  • Let him have female best friends
  • Learn how to rock mukule so that he doesn’t worry about weaves
  • Respect his fifa time
  • Don’t just rely on missionary, learn new moves and positions. Memorise Kamasutra if need be
  • Be supportive and encouraging him even when times are hard
  • Make more money than him
  • Be a supporter, a woman that will raise a home and children. Not a chakolwa every weekend uli pa east point/Nipa club.
  • Don’t ask him where he was when he leaves on a Friday and comes back on a Sunday.
  • Don’t call him to ask what time he’s coming home when he is out with friends
  • Give him sex three to four times a day
  • Your friends shouldn’t have his number, do not tell them all the nice things he does. Zambian chicks are fast
  • Don’t be a Nipa girl
  • Know the difference between face painting and applying make up
  • Don’t say that style makes you feel like vomiting. Just give it to him.
  • Always remember you are Zambian, not Brazilian
  • Keep your eye brows
  • Give him space. Everyone needs it. You are not an appendage!
  • Have a plan for life
  • Accept that he will look at other girls. Being with you hasn’t made him blind
  • Don’t be a ZONE FAM GROUPIE
  • When he invites you for a drink, don’t come with Malita ,Shaquinta, Mutale ,Mulenga Martha, etc. unless he asked you to
  • Don’t ask him to stop drinking #alcohol
  • Don’t look like the joker after make up
  • You support his team. No questions, don’t argue. He will buy you a jersey and you will wear it with honour.
  • Don’t tell him to do house chores they are meant for him. #nogender
  • Be Esther or Catherine Phiri
  • Go Solange Knowles on him once a month

  From this you can tell how much fun people had. This is not an ultimate blueprint because as you can see, some tweeps chose to be hilarious. How you keep your man is up to you. You may take all the sensible advice from here, practice it and still be left. Only God can help you keep your man. A man should not leave you because you can’t do for him that which is awkward for you, he should be lucid or understanding. If you do not like something, you will voice out.
  To view more of these tweets, search for the hashtag, #HowToKeepAZambianMan on twitter and don’t forget to follow me on twitter @aqui_cuteboi_ Have a great weekend!!!!! 😉